Bangkok
Bangkok lies at the top of the Gulf of Thailand, I remember the mouth of the river being wide and fast flowing as ships of every nation steamed to and from it. As the river narrowed we saw lines of American warships moored to buoys , they stood as though as at a regatta but were there because, at that time, Bangkok was an R & R place for troops from the Vietnam war.
I was on the wheel during our pilotage and had a first class view of the countryside on either bank of the river. Everywhere there were lush paddy fields with small hamlets adjacent,and every little settlement had a temple in its midst. The style of them was uniquely Siamese, the roofs being complex and colourful with splashes of reds ,greens and gold picking out the delicate tracery of the gable ends. The river was alive with small craft, long nosed canoes ,each with huge Evinrude outboard engines and filled with passengers and livestock ,seemed to fly across the water cutting a huge bow wave as they skimmed to their destinations. There was so much to see that I had to remind myself that I was’nt sightseeing but following the Pilots instructions.
As we neared the main port area boatloads of the most beautiful women came dashing from the banks , heading for our ship. The captain ,who was coming to Bangkok for the first time ,asked the pilot what they ,the ladies ,were up to. “Mama Sans try to make deal with ship, one Mama Ssn win contract to bring girls ,it is custom” The captain said “ Not on my ship pilot, not of that palaver here” He ordered the midshipman to go and tell the bosun to cut any lines that might be thrown aboard. ”Tell him there will be no *****s on my ship”
He looked so very British in his tropical whites, stiff upper lip and all that.
You could hear the howls of rage as the grappling hooks were flung back aboard the skiffs. And you could see from the slumped shoulders of the lads on the foredeck that they were none too happy with their task.
We were within sight of our moorings when the most exotic creature sidled into the wheelhouse,she was incredibly beautiful,wearing a sarong a la Dorothy Lamour ,with an hibiscus flower in her silky black tresses. The captain gaped at her and I could see that she was having the same effect on him as she had on me. Bold as brass ,she slid her arms about his neck and wrapped her legs around his thigh, kissing his ear and murmuring words I could only imagine. “Middy, er ,tell the bosun that this erm , young ladies boat can lay alongside” You could hear the cheers coming up from the main deck as the news was relayed to the lads.
I found out later ,when were fast on our moorings ,that George, the Maltese fireman ,had lowered a Jacobs ladder over the stern and let the ladies of that skiff come aboard. The girl on the bridge was a freebie for the captain(Lucky B!!)
When I was back on the main deck ,the Mama San had all her “fairies” ( as they were then known” lined up and she announced the deal. We could each have a fairy for a week ,plus a bottle of Bankok whisky and a choice of a sarong, the fairy would be our wife and would keep our cabin clean and do our dhobying ,all for the princely sum of five British pounds. Each and every man jack of us took her up on the offer, she took our names and cabin numbers and would get the money from the chief steward. My “ wife” was called Oy, she was lovely. She could speak some English and I found out that she was supporting her family who lived up country. There was nothing salacious or sleazy about the arrangment, she was, as I found out ,very strong minded and forthright in her views. We had docked on a Sunday and there was no money to be had until the next day when the banks were open. Fortunately I had some sterling left and decided to go ashore; I asked Eck and Alec if they wanted to tag along, we would’nt get up to much,our ladies would be waiting for us and we never had much to spend anyway. So,shortly after Sunday lunch we ventured ashore. We were moored offshore b ut there were some lighters that we could walk across to reach the shore. We were tied up right in the heart of Bangkoks sailortown, this was in the time before tourism and so it was still virtually unspoilt. We strolled through the side streets and had a look at some temples and shrines,the place was a wonderland, market stalls and little hot food stands vied for space with bars and holy places, saffron robed monks and sarong clad lovelies, straw hated labourers and Western military men thronged the streets, making a colourful tapestry. We went to the Seamens mission for a cold drink and bought some curios for home. The place grew on you, it was like Singapore on speed. We sauntered through the streets looking for a place to have a last drink before going back on board. There was one really lively bar ,just like a Wild west saloon, bat wing doors and pictures of cactus and wanted posters added to this effect. In we went ,it was full of servicemen, American, Australian and,to our complete surprise , some British artillery men. We sat down with them and asked what they were doing there,they told us that they were on attachment to an Australian army artillery unit and were doing a spell in Vietnam. We ordered a round of drinks( a bottle of Bangkok whiskey and a large litre bottle of Coca Cola) which cost very little indeed. The R.A lads had a glass with us and bade us good bye. We could hear the bar owner entertaining a group of G.I’s , he had a voice that could have drilled holes in steel. He told them he was from “Missouri, Mark Twains country” We were just finishing the lst of our bottle when the young G.I.’s left. Draining our glasses, we got up and made our way out, passing “ Missouri “ on the way. I called out “G’bye Missouri, one helluva bar y’got here boy!” He looked astonished,” You’re Limey’s aincha?” he asked. “You’re right on the button there Missouri!” I replied. “ How did ya know I was from Missouri?” “ Unmistakeable accent “ I lied. “ Well heeell boys, ya gotta have a drink with me,sit ya selves down now” We did and we got gloriously blotto. The whisky flowed like water and it was all free. Some time later ,he loaded us into his Cadillac El Dorado open top and took us back to our ship. God alone knows how I made it across those lighters and back up the gangway, but I did and so did Eck and Alec.
I can remember staggering back to my cabin and finding Joe sitting with his lady and Oy,whose countenance was not all welcoming, sat looking at me in dismay. And then everything went black!