In the seventies in winter the lights went out from 6-9 at night during the miner?s dispute. Well in those days I was running around Liverpool 8. That?s when I started to think that life could be better. Don?t get me wrong I went a long with things and stuff happened but mainly it was the result of older lads manipulating the situation. I mean running around Parly in the pitch dark was quite scary if you know what I mean. There were that many different gangs nobody knew who was who. When the lights went back on all you could hear was Alarm bells ringing. I started to question what is was all about rather than get in on taking advantage of the situation. It was essential however to have mates as they were very scary times. I had a flat on Princess Avenue at the top by the Federal on the corner of Stanhope. The flat fell apart around me owning to the drug culture at the time. Someone gave me a tab of acid and I went into a psychosis it was no joke. If was as if I was full of shame at such an intense level that my mind could not cope with the feeling. I was told it was going to be a brilliant experience and in fact it was hell. I came down but my mind was affected by the awful experience of LSD. Then my flat mate wanted to fight with me over a tin of beans we went to the park but the grass was so slippy I could not stand up and the fight was aborted. However in my state of mind I was in no condition to fight I felt lost in the world. I suggested to my mate that the guys who had supplied the LSD had also put him up to fight with me and that was the truth of the matter. The mentality around me was quite backward and criminal and very dangerous. So much for flower power Liverpool 8 style. And it was all about survival and being one step ahead. Sometimes you would see a lad and he would be happy and smart looking perhaps with a girlfriend. Then you would hear the label of he is a ?fart? and guarantee you would see the kid go downhill and eventually if he wasn?t stabbed he got beaten up. That was the way the drug gangs worked.
As you get older you look back on things and it is not difficult to see that situations get manipulated. I was a very bright kid and went against the grain as far as criminality went. Anyway my upbringing was so intensely religious I had a steel hard moral code and sense of right and wrong. So when people blame the kids for what?s going on they should look further into things because so much manipulation goes on and there is so much deviancy. Park Road was no better at night in those days and yet ordinary people who you don?t see in the bars at night are the salt of the earth. I loved the Dingle in the sixties. Yet being a teenager was quite scary. Then I started getting stalked by a right ***** fella. These days? people tolerate gay sexuality but this guy was just plainly a pervert who hung around lavatories and he wasn?t the only one. He must have taken a fancy to my angelic altar boy looks and manners. Anyway talk about stalking the man was a monster and a complete threat to children yet he functioned in the night time community with no problem at all. He was all for the national front and Oswald Moseley. When the NF sign first appeared in our block I thought it was the symbol for a fire hydrant. Anyway they were active in the area trying to manipulate white kids. The pervert eventually killed a gay boy down town I knew he was capable of such things as he constantly threatened to kill me. I was in town one night and I saw the snake still as evil as ever with his nasty crew around him. Funny how people like that can thrive in the community. Still if he is not dead he is quite old now perhaps he should reflect on his sad life but then that is all a bit too late. Still he always was a loser picking on me was his biggest mistake. And so growing up is all about learning I had a reputation for being a scrapper and I hated it I would much rather be in the library reading a good book. Thing is in the kids homes you had to fight. There was no mum in the dormitory and if a kid hit you while you were in bed you had to get out and fight you had no choice. And there again such activity was manipulated. So with all the training in the kids homes and then add the alcohol I was a bit of a lad in my teens. Still I could see through it and I was aware then of the hidden hand working against me. I often wondered who financed the pervert that was stalking me.
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Well the twilight world goes on and you either stay put in it or move on and I moved on. Still I like a stroll down Parly and I like real true debate on the destiny of the urban poor and I have admiration for people who get involved in trying to make life better for the less fortunate. There is nothing wrong with promoting black consciousness it is the same as raising the awareness of working class people. If you have people who you can talk too then your half way there. Take away the bullies and manipulators and you find yourself talking to real people. I have always hated racism and especially the racism that you are supposed to accept as the norm. That?s the kind of racism that isolates you in your own community. It is the racism that hurts the most because it is institutional and acceptable. And so the task at hand is to change the world but you cannot do that alone not that I would want to be in a political party. I have my poetry to consider. Yet you do need to be aware and if I thought the time had come for me to be out on the street protesting about injustice I would have no hesitation. I believe in people power and attempting to change things where we would we be now without those who have stood up against the ills that plague society?
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