The Mudmen Code,a potty history of Garston

[brian daley]

The Skull and Crossed Bones

I picked up the following document by Kerrigan J. Keegan and it carries on the transcription of the 17th century document written in New Garston; it would seem that there are several pages missing for this picks up the thread a month after the passage which mentions the horsemen approaching the house . The page is badly charred and I will set it down as written.

?????????the ships were seen to be flying the black ensigns which had skull and crossed bones in the centre. We had never seen the like of which before and knew not whence they came. They were sturdy ,two masted vessels which had gun ports along the sides, but they looked like no men of war that we had seen. Where were they from and what were they doing here, there were no storms that they needed shelter from and we were not expecting any cargoes just yet. Some thought they were merchant venturers come to seek to trade with us, others were puzzled as to why they had anchored off and not sought to make contact with us.
One of the Catawban elders who was in town with his furs looked out and said they were Buccan, when he was asked what Buccan was he cut his right hand across his throat and spat upon the ground. Almost simultaneously ,the gunports dropped open and a salvo was fired ,falling just short of the waterfront ,long boats appeared from around the bows of both ships and were pulling toward the shore at a rate of knots.
We were not warriors ,never in all our time here had we needed to fire our muskets excepting for hunting food. We never carried our arms , there was never the need and yet here we were, faced with mortal peril and unable to defend ourselves. Young John Savage ran toward his house to gather his musket and was cut down by a well aimed volley from one of the long boats as it neared the shore.
We stood defenceless as these Buccans came ashore. They were speaking some form of crude French which one of our fur traders recognised, they were ordering us to gather in the square by the waterfront , more boats came to the shore and there many men ,armed to the teeth with pistoles ,muskets and cutlasses .A more fearsome sight you would never wish to see. The Catawban had made haste from our midst before the first shot was fired and it transpired that he had given warning to the people at the further reaches of town to leave quickly and follow him. They were the lucky ones.
These roughnecks ranged through our town looting and taking that which struck their fancy; there was no more killing ,John Savage was the only casualty. But what happened was, perhaps e?en worse. They selected the flower of our women and took them to their boats, some young men too were taken, to labour as slaves ?
Their leader was a tall red haired man with plaited whiskers and a fearsome mien, who wore the finest brocaded frock coat and a silken ruffed shirt ,on his head was a tricorn hat with the finest boas . Were it not for his face you would take him for a fop. It was the medallion upon his satin weskit that attracted the attention of the Brethren, it was a Templar medallion, cast in gold ,it clearly showed the two poor knights astride the one horse. How could this be? Here ,three thousand miles from Scotland and Garston,the only two known refuges of the Templars, yet we were being subjected to looting ,pillage and kidnapping by some who wore this ancient badge of honour.
Their visitation lasted but the half day and soon they were gone with our young ladies , the future mothers of our settlement, and some of our young men. This was a grievous loss. It was but a few hours after the raiders had sailed that our Catawban friends rode into town ,ready to give battle on our behalf. They consoled us over our loss and urged us to make ready for any future such raids. Our life in Eden was at an end, we must make ourselves strong if we are to survive. Accordingly ,a rider was despatched to Jamestown to give news of what had befallen us and warning of what might happen to them. Intelligence was also to be sent to our home in Garston with as much information of the raiders as was known to us..

It was many months before we received any news back from Garston, more young ladies came out to join us on the next ship from home. They were undeterred by the intelligence of the raid and were only too willing to join us in our little commonweal. That ship also brought news that Letters of Marque had been granted to two of our Templar friends , Messrs Aspinall and Brewer. They were charged to seek out and destroy the Buccans who had made that dastardly raid upon our settlement and given leave to plunder all who were considered to be enemies of our Sovereign King..
In the meanwhile ,one of our Brethren conducted researches into the provenance of these Buccans. There was a colony of such persons on the Island of Santo Domingo and they had first settled there many centuries ago ,they were called the Boucans because of their cooking of meat upon spits above fires. They were wild rovers and were considered by all nations to be pariahs, but our Brother knew different. The flag they were flying was called by some, the Jolie Roger, a scholar would recognise it as the Templar Piebald, the flag flown on all Templar Merchant vessels .A flag that had not been seen in European waters for two centuries or more.
It is recorded in the annals of history that Templars were put to the fire and the sword when the Pope and the King of France deemed them to be too strong, it is known that De Molay and his brethren perished by the auto da fe and that Templardom was finished with his surcease.
What is little known, is that from La Rochelle ,the bastion of the Templars ,thirteen ships succeeded in escaping from the clutches of Pipin .Five vessels escaped to Lisbon where King Dinis gave sanctuary to them as long as they ceased calling themselves Templars ;they renamed themselves the Knights Of Christ and went on to sow the seeds of Portugals maritime dominance. Five vessels went to Scotland and were given sanctuary by the Bruces ,they provided the armed might that helped them beat Edward Ironsides ; some fled to Garston where they helped build up our merchant fleet and the others? They were those who called themselves The Brethren of the Coast, the Buccaneers!

[captain kong]

The man on the dock shouted,"Where`s your Buccaneers?
and the messman, Jeff Glasse, shouted back, "They are on me Buccanhead."

[kevin]

fascinating potty tales.

What news of bosun gesunder?

[captain kong]

from the diary of Mr Keegan
More men were brought down from Liverpool and major fighting broke out between the strikers and the loyal Dockers .On the night of the fourteenth of August a great conflagration was started in the north dock and this rapidly spread throughout the whole dock complex. The militia were called out to assist the Police in fighting the Liverpool hooligans as the fire took a hold on the riverside. Only two ships managed to escape the holocaust, a small collier and a yardarm. Ketch. Three vessel were so badly damaged that they would never put to sea again , they were the Mudskipper, the Alfreton, a square rigger ,and the new wonder ship ,the Garstonia.
Most of the warehouses were destroyed and a great many lives were lost in the attempt to stem the blaze. There were some reports of the funerals of those who were lost in the fire and of the memorial service that was held for the mariners who had lost their lives whilst trying to save their vessels. The newly commissioned Captain of the Garstonia , Julian Aspinall and his faithful servant Mr Glasser were given special mention by the Bishop of Garston as being ?Heroes, the very best of British blood, they died in the battle against the dark forces??.?

On the night of 14 August 1898, Captain Julian Aspinall had been watching his Steward, one Jef Glasse, a strange fellow of doubtful parentage.He was an usavoury type of person, always lurking in alleyways and store rooms. The good Captain investigated him and made a remarkable discovery.
This Jef Glasse was a son of a man also by the name of Jef Glasse who was executed by hanging for the murder of his own father, Captain Julian Aspinall in 1849, nearly forty years ago. Rumour had it, this scheming murderer had exchanged clothes with his prison guard, whilst under the influence of his last bottle of Rum and the poor prison guard was executed in his place. This event was covered up by HMP authorities to avoid embarrassment.
Just as he suspected, as Captain Julian Aspinall was following the said Glasse around the ship, Glasse ignited various incendary devices. The ship became a raging inferno, which spread to the adjoining cargo sheds and most of Garston Dock was burned down, and the new wonder ship, `Garstonia 2`, was destroyed. In the ensuing destruction Jeff Glasse dived overboard into the dock, he was observed by the good Captain who dived in after him. Glasse disappeared in all the confusion and Captain Julian swam around the dock for quite a while trying to find him but to no avail.
The Captain now had a dilemma, if it was known that the Captain had survived then Glasse would know he would be on his trail to avenge his father`s death and the destruction of his new ship, `Garstonia 2` But if he thought the Captain was dead then he could carry on with his nefarious ways.unhampered by the Captain.
The Captain decided on the latter and had to change his name. He became known as Captain King and vowed to search the seven seas for the Glasse.

[brian daley]

Revenge

Near 12 month had passed since the raid by the Buccaneers, the sore pain of distress and anger was fading and was being replaced by sad acceptance that our loved ones may not be seen again. When our morale was at its lowest , two stately galleons came into port, large pennants at the fore and the flag of our old country the stern. First to dock was the St Mary ,a ship of war ,with gun ports the full length of her ,following came the twin of her, the Holy Trinity. Never was a sight more welcome for not only did they bring us news of home, they brought us soldier men and a veritable arsenal. This would help us to defend ourselves at some future incursion ;the real purpose of the visitation however was to seek as much intelligence from us about the nature of the raiders, the build of their ship ,and any other factors that might help our captains in the search for the villains that nigh on ruined our settlement.
Two captains were not only out for revenge, they were out to enrich their own estate by seeking what plunder they could whilst over in the Americas. Legend has it that there are many Spanish merchants that carry great treasures from the territories to the south. Messrs Aspinall and Brewer have come well prepared to put those legends to the test.
After many days of refitting and revictualling , the good ships set sail from New Garston in search of the Buccaneers. The quayside was thronged with the people of the town , wishing them God speed and prayers that they would bring the return of our loved ones .
When they had disappeared over the horizon our new militia went about setting up defences against any future raiders. Towers were built on the sea front ,there would be watches kept there day and night ,not a sail would pass unnoticed upon our horizons.
Manufacture of weaponry was instituted ; amongst our soldiery was a gunsmith with all the requisite paraphernalia for the making of pistols and muskets. A specialist metal worker was also among their number and he would oversee the training of our young men in the art of metallurgy . soon we would be self reliant in building up our own arsenal.
Our industry in the building of our defences began to restore our confidence, the Catawbans , witnessing such changes , became more closely allied with us and pledged to help us in defending us against any attack from the land ward side of our town.
Two harvests were reaped before we saw the return of the St Mary and Holy Trinity, they docked in 1620, just after the feast of Candlemas, they we bedecked in bunting and all manner of pennants and there ,at the top of their foremasts, flew the dreaded
Flag of the Skull and Crossed Bones.
We were anxious in the extreme of what this display could mean, but our anxieties were dispelled when we heard the cries of familiar voices and saw some of our loved ones waving from the taffrails. Oh ,there was such a jubilation at this wonderful sight and boys were despatched to the nether reaches of our town to spread the joyful tidings. The church bells were pealing out a tocsin of praise to the heavens and our wharfingers worked at speed to make those vessels fast to the quay.
Hearts were aflutter to watch our returnees step ashore, was our daughter ,our son or wife amongst them? Such trepidation there was at that moment, and then there were explosions of tumultuous joy as arms reached out and held those dear ones again.
Slowly ,as the crowds edged away from the waterfront to take their saved ones home again, the sad figures of those who would never see their kin again stood in lonely desolation, their worst fears now realised.
There were not words enough to express what we felt for them, such sorrow after so much joy.
I went aboard to meet the Captains and to extend the hand of grateful welcome, the Brethren were going to organise a feast of gratitude and we wished that whole crew would join in our celebration of their exploits. Mr Brewer and Mr Aspinall readily accepted my invitation for them to dwell under my roof for the duration of their stay. I was mightily pleased for I was eager to hear of what adventures they had undergone since last we saw them.
I arranged for them to brought to my house by carriage, my good wife Suzanne had laid stores in for such an occasion and I had saved a firkin of my finest Malmsey, and a moistened box of the finest Catawban tobacco,our churchwardens would smoke merrily this night.
After a meal of the finest provender that New Garston could offer,we retired to the inglenook in the withdrawing room and loosened our clothing , our pipes were filled and our glasses freshened with the sweet Malmsey . Captain Aspinall needed no prompting to open his tale ,he broached his glass and wiped his lips with the back of his hand and began a tale of such romance that I was rapt within moments.
I will attempt to paraphrase his tale for his own words were so bellicose that I fear they might cause offense to those of tender sensibilities.

? We had been at sea a week or more before we made sight of land again , ? twas but an eyot in the midst of nowheres, but that little speck contained an Englishman ;he had been marooned by a Dago who, he said, had taken him captive in New Garston ,that man was your very own Douglas Threlfall ,he had been such an argumentative captive that the Dago had marooned him there to rid himself of such of such a pestiferous body, and after having him aboard the St Mary all this time I concur with that Dago?s judgement. But I digress. John had measured his time on that isle by cutting marks on the bole of a tree. 64 marks recorded the days that he had been there ,and a week at sea before then. So our quarry was two and half months ahead of us. We set sail south again and had the good fortune to come across two Spanish Merchantmen homeward bound from Havana, they were laden to the gunnels and were wallowing in the Doldrums . We showed them all the respect and mercy that was their due, we turned them about and landed them on a golden beach which our pilot swore had fresh water and food aplenty. Some of the sailormen aboard them were pressed men from Scotland and The Dutch states and we gave them the offer of staying aboard the vessels so that we might get them back to English waters. They had no hesitation in accepting our offer and now our fleet was doubled..
We ranged the length and breadth of the Carib waters with nary a sighting of a Buccaneer, many a Portugee ship was sighted but we stayed well clear of these, our business was not with them. A time or two we spotted familiar vessels and could see that it was some of those other Englishmen who had come ?fishing ? in these rich seas.
It was about our seventh month abroad on these waters when we heard tell of a raid on Spanish settlement near Nombre de Dios, the story the old sailor man told us tallied in description of the raid on your town, fancy dude in flounces and a red beard, bemedalled and keen with a sword ,and a Frenchy to boot. His two ships near cleaned out that little town , of people and what wealth there was too.
This old salt heard from a ?friend ? that the Frenchy was from a Port in Santo Domingo, a place by the name of Azua. So now we had a place to search for .
Our pilots knew of Hispaniola , the island where Santo Domingo was situate, but they also knew that there were many well defended bays and ports for this was where Christopher Columbus had first settled. We had a tall order on our hands and a lot of reconnoitring to do before we could attempt to make our foray against this unmeasured enemy.
John Brewer undertook the job of reconnoitre, disguising his crew as Dagos they took the Spanish vessel and set a course for Hispaniola , they landed at the Northern end of the island and sent a small party of Spanish speakers to get the lay of the land, and ,with the dispensing of rum in the some of the shanty towns that they came upon ,they learned that Azua was on the southern most part of the island ,above Cabo Besta and nestled safely between the ports of Enriquillo and Bani. The Buccaneers had invested both ports with heavy armaments and they would prove nigh on impossible to approach from the sea. Those towns would have to be taken before we could attack Azua.

John and I studied his rude maps of the peninsula for ways of landing a force strong enough to take those two towns by surprise and taking them out of the equation. After many a survey we resolved to split our forces into three ,one party would land at beach to the south of Bani ,march inland and come at the back of the town from the landward side and put the town to the torch,the other party would land at Marahona across the peninsula from Enriquillo springing the same surprise on that township. Both raids would take place at the dead of night to cause the maximum panic and consternation.
The ships that lay alongside side in these ports would be taken and used a fire ships in the raid on Azua.
Such was our plan and it went as perfect as though the gods had designed it , there was much slaughter and bloodshed ,but we were doing it for a righteous cause. Many slaves were freed as we fought through those towns ,and some of your towns folk were among their number. Next morn we continued our momentum and attacked Azua from land and by sea. The element of surprise was our biggest weapon
and we fought our way through the streets in hand to hand combat with the toughest opponents it had been our misfortune to meet.. The cobbles were slick with blood of hundreds of men, this was too close for cannons and muskets, the tight little streets could not take more than three abreast and it was a day of cut and thrust as the blades sought to skewer and cut asunder the bodies of those hardfaced warriors.. Of a sudden we came to a square at the end of which stood a large palace. And there on the steps stood a redhaired villain dressed in the finest silks and brocades,the plumes of his tricorn billowing as he thrust and parried with his blade.
I fought my way toward him ,and when I was close enough to him I saw his features ,features that caused me to swallow with shock. It was as though I was staring into a mirror, excepting for the red hair and beard ,the man was like as a twin to me. John gasped as he saw him,?Tis you to the life ? he cried . Hearing this voice ,Red beard turned to face me, shock writ large upon his visage. ?Sacre Bleu? he shouted .crossing himself as though cursed by the sight of me, as he faltered ,my blade took him by the shoulder of his sword arm and he was rendered defenceless. As he lay bleeding the sound of steel upon steel lessened and stopped ,victory was ours.
But who was this red bearded rogue??

[Jeff Glasser]

Jeff Glasse, realising Captain Julian was close behind him with only revenge on his mind for what he had done to the 'Garstonia 2', swam like never before and made good his escape into the many alleys and dark places around the old dock warehouses.
Realising he would have to lay low for a time to see what the good Captain Julians plans would be, he took cheap lodgings in one of the more dubious Inns close by, and settled in to wait. If the Captain was given command of another vessel, he would endeavor to join, disguised of course, the crew, and mayhaps find another way of dispatching Captain Julian!

[captain kong]

One day.....................................KAPUT!

[Jeff Glasser]

yeah, right, kong

[kevin]

One day.....................................KAPUT!

Just don't climb any skyscrapers while Jeff is up in that glider!

[brian daley]

A little bird tells me that we are about to see the birth of a totally new tale about Captain Julians search for his Tiger. Watch this space ,it will not be authored by me ,but by those reprobates Kong and Glasser. Should be a best seller by all accounts.It will have its own thread and promises to be gripping.(Can I go home now Kong or do you want more copy?)

[captain kong]

One year after the Great Disaster of Garston, The Great Garston Mud Company had another new Steamship built, at Cammel Llairds to replace the `Garstonia 2`, she was to be named `Garstonia 3`. The launch and naming ceremony was done by the Chairman of the Company`s wife, Lady Susannah T. Daley.V.N.C.
A lot of people said the name of the ship was unlucky as the other ships of that name were very unlucky indeed, The first Garstonia had four murders in one voyage and the second was involved in the creation of the Great Garston Disaster.
But Lord Twize Daley, V.N.C. D.R. said Third time lucky. she will OK we have an excellent, experienced Captain to take command, one Captain Julian King.
At last Sailing day arrived, a new crew had been signed on, Captain King was happy with them all, except two men who he had misgivings about. His Steward, was a strange fellow, shifty eyed a red beard and claiming to be a Swede, his name was Gleff Jasse. A strange name for a Swede, more of a Estonian name if his memory served him correctly. There was something odd about his appearance, something familiar, as if they had met in some far distant past. His accent wasn?t too good for a Swede, he sounded a little bit like Robert Newton in the film Treasure Island, which hadn?t come out yet, .mixed with a little Brum., A strange accent for Swedish person.
The other fellow he wasn?t too sure of was a Fireman, by the name of Michael Aspinall, who he learned was a far distant relative, sharing the same ancester, the Baron de Aspin of Aspin Hall in the woolyback town of Bolton in 1648,.
Michael Aspinall`s father was a Fireman on the `Garstonia` when the 2nd Engineer disappeared, rumour had it that he was fed into the furnace, and also he was there when the Third Engineer died in mysterious circumstances, on the same voyage that his Father Captain Julian Aspinall was murdered by one Jef Glasse who was later executed in Kirkdale prison. Rumour had it that he got away from there by being disguised as a Prison Warder and the poor man being hanged in his place.
Captain King was getting a little apprehensive about the voyage ahead.

[Jeff Glasser]

The good captain King had every reason to be wary of both Gleff Jasse, and Michael Aspinall, both were up to no good, and were frequently seen muttering and whispering together.
The fireman Aspinall had recognised 'Jasse', only he knew him from the old 'Garstonia' as Jeff Glasse, even the bright orange false beard, tinted spectacles, eye shadow and large diamante' earrings could not hide the mans true identity, but Aspinall had remembered being asked to go 'in' with him regarding both their maritime future, so kept silent. It did not bode well for the 'Garstonia 3.

[captain kong]

After the Maiden Voyage celebrations, the ship was loaded with a cargo of the celebrated Gerston Mud, in barrels, it was getting very popular in the Argentine. It was used in the making of Tiles, Bricks and the Pharmaceutical industry had discovered its many uses as it contained many nutrients and minerals, also the brewery trade used it as finings in the brewing of ale. It made beers compatible for Vegetarians, normal beer finings contain fish scales etc. [this is a fact] so the beer became very popular due to that fact.
Also the Aspinall Cambrinous Craft Brewery, had a large export order to the Argentine, a large number of British expatriates lived there building railroads and owning cattle ranches and the Aspinall ale was very popular as a link to home.
The Beer was condensed in casks, one cask made six casks when water was added, this was to save space when in transportation.
A crew had been signed on and the ship was made ready to sail on her long voyage to South America, Lord Twyze Daley, VNC.DR. was there to see them off on the maiden voyage.
At first the voyage seemed to be progressing quite normally, the good Captain was not too pleased with the Steward, who seemed to be completely incompetent, staggering around and lurking, where ever the Captain looked, there was the steward, one Gleff Jasse, who claimed to be a Swedish seafarer, A strange fellow.
He was in cahoots with a Fireman, Michael Aspinall, another strange, and rough sort of fellow. They had discovered the casks of beer in No3 hatch, it was accessible from the store rooms. One bucket of the condensate would make six buckets of ale. and from the day of leaving Garston they were at it every day.
Captain King did not know that Gleff Jasse drank until he found him sober one day.

[Jeff Glasser]

The pantry boy, Tarquin Smythe-Nozewheel ( he was from good stock that had fallen on hard times through bad investments in the great snuff crash of 1862, when snuff had dropped from a 1d a ton, to less than a farthing virtually over night. His father had commited suicide by inhaling as much of his useless stock as was possible in one go, and sneezed himself to death. ) had the cabin next to Jasse, and would often spy on him through the 1" hole that had appeared mysteriously about three feet up from the deck in the bulkhead that seperated the two cabins, few days into the voyage .
One evening he heard the sound of muttering and muted laughter from Jasses' cabin, and peering through the hole saw that there was another crew member there. they were both swigging from large mugs of a foul looking liquid that were being replenished from a cask bearing the legend 'Garston mud Company' under which was a small circular logo that enclosed three triangles, its meaning lost to him.
Thinking this to be a normal crew leisure time pursuit, he was about to return to his bunk and the well thumbed pages of a 'Port Said Bible' he'd found pushed under his cabin door by some well meaning fellow mariner, when he saw the steward Jasse drag out from under his bunk a large wooden box. He could just discern the words 'Arms' stencilled onto the lid.
Jasse undid the padlock and lifted the lid to reveal several prosthetic arms in a neat row. "Kin'ell" ejaculated the other man, who Tarquin had recognised as the fireman Aspinall, a person he'd been warned to keep well away from.
"It once contained tractor parts" said Jasse, "that I were smuggling to Uraguay" " Each to his own," sneered Aspinall, staring at the contents of the box, " but is this what yer was goin' ter show me?"
Smiling through what was left of his rotting teeth, Jasse took out the dummy limbs. He then removed a false bottom, the straps of which were beginning to chafe his upper legs. He then leant forward into the box, and tore away a thin cardboard liner ( I think it was the Windsor Castle, sorry,sorry,sorry, I could'nt help it. Author ) ) to reveal two pistols, a rusty musket, and a Light Sabre. ( Jasse could'nt lift a heavy Sabre since damaging his wrist lifting an overloaded tea tray. ) " Us can use these when we take command of the ship" he said " " just a few more of the crew to persuade to come with us, and the 'Garstonia' and her cargo will be ours." " Oil drink to that me old Bucko' " roared Aspinall, and poured the last of the foaming brew down his throat.
Tarquin saw them shake hands, the box was refilled and hidden once again under Jasses' bunk. Aspinal, belching loudly, Left the cabin, and made his way to the 'Garstonias' engine room, no doubt to inwardly digest what had just been revealed to him.
I must warn the Captain immediately before they can act, thought young Tarquin. I might get a reward which I can use to get MaMa out of the work house.

[brian daley]

Brilliant stuff Jeff,you do realise that this part of the story belongs to you and Alehouse don't you? I'm sticking to my original tale and this one of yours is a "sequel" . I can't wait to see what transpires now.
The ex Author