Full Steam Ahead
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We got back to Birkenhead in mid April and had five days leave before sailing again. I kept close to my family in the time I had left ,making sure I visited the grandparents and all my uncles and aunts . I also re-visited the Wilson Hall ,the place where I was almost put off dancing for the rest of my life,but now I could dance , and I had a great time rock and rolling . It was never going to be the same without Harry,but he was gone and life has to go on.
The days seemed to whizz by , and it was’nt long before we were setting out for the Continent and Australia. There were a lot of new faces among the deck crowd, Bootsie and Billo were still my cabin mates,but we had new Jos’s and Sos’s and a couple of new AB’s too. Vic the Lampy had left us and was replaced by a little fellow who came from a large family of sailors,all them with a reputation of being “hard men”. Our new Lampy wanted us to believe he was cast in the same mould as his big brothers,problem was he was five foot nothing, ginger headed and built like shrimp. He tried to walk like John Wayne,carried a Bowie knife nearly as big as himself and had a cat o’ nine tails pinned to the bulkhead above his bunk. He was totally without a sense of humour,laughing only at other peoples misfortunes , and tried to treat us peggies as less than human. The three of us had now gained enough experience to hold our tongues and never give cheek ,we would always get our own back ……we served them their food!!!
Amongst the deckhands we had an unpleasant little AB,he looked like Joe E. Brown the comedian,he always had a smile on his face, but there was murder in his eyes. Slightly built and in his fifties, he tried to push the younger ratings about ,sometimes making an entertainment out of it for the benefit of the whoever was in the vicinity at the time. We kept out of his way as much as we could ,never rising to the bait ,sometimes that only made him worse. He would do nasty little things like “accidently “ knock over a full gash bucket so that we had extra work or keep you waiting while he lingered over a cup of tea,stopping you from getting your work done on time. But more of him later.
We were back in Hamburg now ,this was my third time in 5 months,I was getting to like the place . St Pauli was a real sailortown , although it had suffered major damage during the bombing just 15 years ago ,it was now a boom town,there were cranes everywhere as building were being erected and the docks were full of ships of every nation. Going ashore in such a place is exciting, the little bars were full of seamen ,and the women who depended upon sailors for a living. The dockside bars were very different from those at home, they were nearly all polished mahogany and brass with just enough room to swing a cat, the music on the Juke boxes was nearly all German ,a singer called Freddie was number one on the playing lists and even we Brits liked him,he sang songs we understood .
A Royal Navy aircraft carrier arrived while we were there and the streets began to fill up with jolly jacks in their fore and aft uniforms. I met a gang of them as I walked up from the ferry, they could see I was English and called out to me . I went over to them and they asked if I knew where to go, I took thenm to a little family bar that I had been to a couple of times. They ordered a round of beers ,which was served in half litre glasses decorated with a coat of arms and a gold rim. The lads commented on how nice they were and supped up ,pocketing the glasses as they did so. The landlord asked them to put them back and one of their number, a little London Italian, walked to the bar ,glass in hand and said “Yew want this back mate?”
The landlord nodded and said “Ja ja” and the little jolly jack smashed it right across the landlords face. I was horrified, his nose and cheek opened to the bone and there was blood everywhere. And the jolly ,oh so ,jolly jacks ran giggling from the bar. That was the first time I ever felt ashamed of my countrymen. I had to leave the bar and walked up to the Reeperbahn. Passing the Winkelstrasse ,I made my way to a little bar at the far end of the street ,it was the only one that did’nt have a doorman and I thought there might not be a floorshow. There were films though, pornographic cartoons,they looked just like Disney cartoons ,but I had never seen what Donald and Daisy were doing before ,let alone Mickey and Minnie,and Goofy? Well I’ll draw a veil over it here,the was a beautiful working girl there who came and sat by my side,her face was so familiar that I bought her a drink. I had seen her before but could not remember where, she was smiling at my perplexity and said “You haf seen me beforetime Ja?” I nodded and she gave rueful smile “Photos ja?” Yes ,that was it ,Alan Helsbys pack of pornographic playing cards ,he’d brought them to school and let us have a look …………52 different positions and here she was sitting by my side! I never had enough money to do the things that her presence made me want to do. I drank up and left and walked slap bang into a crowd of German matelots,just getting warmed up. Down the other end of the street were our British sailors getting their rations too. It was going to be an interesting night.
I ducked into a small bar that had clear glass windows and waited for the show to start. The one outside I mean, within minutes the Battle of Jutland was being re enacted before my very eyes, they launched themselves at each other with a ferocity that I had never seen before,there was blood and snot everywhere and the sound of sirens and police whistles got louder and louder. Soon there were Naval Police and civilian Police caving heads in as they separated the warring factions. I tarried a while longer until peace was restored and then sought another bar, I met up with a guy off a Ben Liner and we had a couple or three before heading back to the ferry. Passing the police station you could see matelots having out of the barred windows singing for all they were worth ,faces black and blue ,teeth missing ,not caring a ****. They were going to have a hell of an awakening in the morning. The Ben boat man and I had a bit of an awakening when we got to the landing stage ,we had missed the last ferry!
The was a fairly large vessel still alongside the stage, all the lights were out on it but you could see the saloon and the door to the salon was open. So we went on board and got our heads down on the very well upholstered settees, it was’nt too long before we nodded off .
I came to with a start,the settee was moving gently and I could feel the throb of an engine. I sat up to see that we were heading down the Elbe ,the sun was up and the harbour was coming to life. We ran up to the bridge and the skipper near had a fit ,he did’nt speak English ,nor we German ,but ,good enough ,he headed right back to the landing stage and put us ashore.
Back aboard we commenced a re run of our first trip, Amsterdam,Antwerp and Dunkirk, we did’nt call into the Solent this time but left France and headed for Suez. And it was at Suez that we saw Joe E. Brown get his first comeuppance.
To most Englishmen at that time ,the Egyptians were just “wogs”,to be treated with contempt and never to be trusted. One Englishman could finish off ten “wogs” before breakfast;such were the thoughts of the simple minded ,and Joe was surely one of their number. We were just leaving the Great Bitter Lakes and the lads were playing cards and enjoying cold beers on the after end of the accommodation. Joe was explaining to everyone how “wogs” were all “arse bandits” One of the boatmen from Suez was sitting nearby and Joe would nod in his direction as he coined his latest witticism. “They don’t mind where they dip their wicks, d’you Abdul” he shouted, “Camels ,donkeys, they do’em all,eh ,don’t you mate?” The boatman sat never showing what he felt. Joe raised the ante,for he now had an audience “That Nasser ,eh Abdul ,I bet ‘e’s a bit of an arse bandit eh!?” The boatman stood up and walked over to Joe,landed a a whacking great smack on his nose and said “English, make joke of me ,I don’t care,make joke out of Nasser………….I care!” showing Joe some knuckle he went back to his seat and carried on smoking .Joe slunk back to his cabin.
Between him and the lamp trimmer we peggies took a lot of stick. But we never let them beat us.
On the passage to the Australian coast we had to take action against Joe and we did it the only way we knew how ,with fear. The three of us were red leading the the housing beneath the aftermast and Joe was working in the stores inside the housing . We positioned ourselves outside the porthole to the stores and spoke loud enough for Joe to hear what we were saying. He was on his own,and we talked of how we would follow him when he went ashore ,we were going to jump him ,drag him into an alleyway and give him the hiding of his life. We waxed eloquent about the hammering he was going to get,and we even said that some of the Jos’s wanted to have him as well. At Smoko that afternoon Jo was very polite,saying what a nice cup of tea the peggy had made. We never had any trouble again from that little bully. The Lampy was another story though.
It was’nt just us he was bullying ,it was everyone below the rank of AB ,that fool did’nt realise what a hate bank he was building for himself.
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