Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Hacker

1.

You'll be dipped in boiling oil, buck naked.

2.

Chained and forced to watch videos
of Rod McKuen reading his "poetry."

3.

Banned from computers for your lifetime.

4.

Tickled on the soles of your feet,
hung over a vat of piranhas.

5.

Pushed into the lion den at the zoo
while we all wear smiley faces.

6.

All the poets of the world will light a metaphorical fire
under your bed at night.

7.



Yawn. Hacker, you're a loser. You're nothing.

8.

Breathing is too good for you.

9.

You deserve to have your membership
in the human race cancelled.

10.

Dick Cheney will waterboard you
because you're a no-brainer.

11.

President Bush and Tony Blair will start the next war
in your chest.

12.

You are roadkill in Montana.

13.

You are the cockroach I stamped on this morning.

Christopher T. George