Usually you can hear a scraping sound when you reach the bottom,Pablo.
Usually you can hear a scraping sound when you reach the bottom,Pablo.
No, got a lot lower to go yet George...Originally Posted by George
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle names.
Told ya...
I went to a strip club with a few of my mates last night.
One of the girls walked up to me and said, "Hi baby, do you fancy a dance, £15?"
I said, "I'm not very good at dancing, but i'm pretty skint so I could do with the money".
My mate said to me the other day "the coke at Mcdonalds tastes different to other places"
I replied "It tastes much nicer, they clean the toilet seat"
What does an onion and kick in the goolies have in common?
...they both make yer eyes water.
Ha good one George.
The parish priest very furtively calls the mother superior into his office. This is how their conversation went:
"Sister, I want to show you something."
"What is it, Father?"
"Come into my private room & close the blinds."
"WHAT?!"
"I said....."
"I heard what you said - I just can't believe you're saying it!"
"Well, I really need you to come in."
Curious, the nun does as she is told.
"Here, sit on the bed beside me."
"I have to get out of here."
"Aren't you the least bit curious?"
Well, the nun was, so she sat down beside him.
"Get under the covers."
"WHAT?????!!!!!"
The nun was really freaking out.
"It doesn't work otherwise!"
After much coaxing, the nun does get under the covers with him.
He whispers: "Come closer."
Nervously, she does get closer.
"See," the priest whispers gleefully, "my new watch does glow in the dark!!!!"
A man wants to celebrate his wife's birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says, "Let's put, 'you are not getting older you are getting better'".
The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"
The man says, "Well, put 'You are not getting older', at the top and 'You are getting better' at the bottom".
The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened and the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake "You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom".
Big Gay Ray goes 2 docs 2 get his test results.
The doc says, "Im sorry Big Gay Ray but you've got AIDS!"
Big Gay Ray is devastated & asks the doc what to do.
The doc says, "Eat 1 sausage 1 head of cabbage 20 jalapeno peppers 40 walnuts 40 peanuts a half box of All Bran cereal & top it off with a gallon of prune juice".
"Will this cure me?" asks Big Gay Ray.
"No" said the doc, "But it'll give you a better understanding of what your ARSE is for!"
For a cheap laugh when walking through town, it's always funny to bump into someone in a camouflage jacket and say,
"Sorry mate, didn't see you there."
I told my girlfriend to shave downstairs.
She blocked the kitchen sink, but at least her moustache is gone.
Don't you think that Formula 1 would be better if they had to down a pint at the end of every lap?
I must be getting old, i was watching a porno earlier and all i could think of is 'That bed would look great in my bedroom.'
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