Ha, nice one Gnash...Originally Posted by GNASHER
Ha, nice one Gnash...
With my less than positive view on nuns, gained at school, I'd save the muslim woman and let the nun drown.
Ha, me dad woulda done the same. He was battered by the Nuns. That was why he would never send us to a Catholic School.
An 80 year old man finds his wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall.
Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I know you can't get it up, so maybe you can drop it in."
Tex walks into the saloon bar in Rattlesnake Gulch
"Two fingers of sippin' liquor, barkeep" he says.
The barman pours his whisky. "Can't help noticin' you got your guns in a mighty strange place, cowboy".
A few of the bar hounds look at him and sure enough his guns are attached to his hat.
"Yeah I kinda like it. Got it done by the new fella across the square. $5"
The whole bar looks outside the window and sure enough, there's a funny old man sat in a leather armchair outside the general store.
Another cowboy gets up. "I'm quite taken with that look, Tex. I'm gonna go fix myself the same".
He wanders out of the saloon and comes back half an hour later. He too has his guns on his hat.
Soon there's a buzz in the bar at this new craze and a steady stream of cowboys are going to visit the little old man in the armchair.
Later that afternoon, the sheriff comes into a packed bar. He's amazed at what he sees; every cowboy in the place has his guns hanging from his hat.
He lets off two shots off into the ceiling and the place falls silent
"What in tarnation is going on here?!" he shouts. "Why you all got your weapons in such a dam crazy place?"
Tex explains about the little old man.
"I'm gonna pay him a visit. Making my town into a laughing stock!" grumbles the sheriff, setting off across the square.
The saloon bar gets to its feet to watch the confrontation.
"Say, old man!" shouts the sheriff to the man in the armchair.
"Howdy, Marshall" says the old man, "You come for your hat modifyin' too?"
"No I ain't" he replied, "What in hell's name is goin' on, old timer? I got my whole town with their **** guns on their hats and they is all sayin' you're to blame"
"Guess I am, sheriff, guilty as charged" replies the old man with a wink.
"You mind tellin' me who you is and givin' me your credentials?" asks the sheriff, spitting at the old man's feet.
"Sure," says the old man, leaning back in his leather armchair, "The name's Brian, and I'm an upholsterer".
Our old Shipmate BOB died 11 months ago, I hope he is up there laughing and knowing his "BOB`S FUNNIES" is still going and making us laugh. Both Samsette and I had the Privilige to meet him.
Keep on laughing Bob.
Nice one Captain. Laugh on Bob...
Hi Brian,
I didn't know that. Keep smiling, Bob, we're keeping your memory alive!
My friend was hit by a car over the weekend. The accident paralysed him from the neck down. It's been a really tough time for his family, they were all gathered round his hopsital bed as I walked in. The atmosphere was quite morose and I didn't really know what to say. It felt wrong to intrude on this family time, so I just put the bill from the garage for damages on the side and left them in peace.
If you like bets, you're one of two people:
You are either a gambler
Or a South African who loves flying mammals.
'Bob's funnies' is a thread that migrated with the ex-sailors from a sailors forum that was folding - Brian Daley asked Kev for a new home for us (though I was already here) and Kev agreed to host us with a slot on the forum. So Bob is immortalised across a few sites.
I like the idea of being remembered with humour. That's how death should be, a celebration of life.
If they took porn off the internet, there would probably only be two websites.
Facebook, and BringBackThePorn.com
I've just finished reading a book on origami.
I don't know what to make of it.
Lol. Hilarious.
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