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Thread: Bobs' Funnies,for the jokes both old and new

  1. #421
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    Was in the taxi last night/early this morning coming back from Whitehaven. It took me until I was well on my way home to realize that I didn't have the money to pay the driver, so when we pulled up I opened the door and legged it. The driver shouted after me 'I will get my revenge!'.

    Oh, how i laughed.


  2. #422
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    Germany wins Eurovision then four days later an old WWII bomb explodes "unexpectedly".

    Carlsberg don't do timely reminders, but if they did....

  3. #423
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    A man sits next to a guy with a dog on a plane and asks him "Is he a guide dog"? "No i am a drugs officer, he's a sniffer dog, watch this" and says to the dog "Search" The dog goes off and comes back and puts 1 paw on his lap "Heroin" the drug officer says and makes a note of the passenger. The dog runs off and comes back again and puts 2 paws on his lap. "Coke" the drug officer says. The dog runs off and comes back again and sh1ts all over the seat. "What's that then"? the first man asks. The drugs officer replies "he's found a sodding bomb!!!!"

  4. #424
    essexscouse essexscouse's Avatar
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    Suggested to the wife she might like to shave downstairs................................she blocked the sink but at least her moustache has gone

  5. #425
    Came fourth...now what? Oudeis's Avatar
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    Man phones doctor concerned about the hearing of his pensioner wife.
    Doc, says perform short test. Outside the house ask, in a normal voice, "What's for tea?" If no response go closer to the house, into the house, into the kitchen all the time testing.
    Man asks and asks again...no response.
    Finally he walks up behind his wife and asks again...

    His wife turns round and says...

    "For the fourth bleedin' time CHICKEN!!"

  6. #426
    essexscouse essexscouse's Avatar
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    Old man goes to Docs concerned about his hearing going and coming back at different times Doc says describe the symptoms Man says well Marge has got blue hair

  7. #427
    Senior Member John Doh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pablo42 View Post
    Was in the taxi last night/early this morning coming back from Whitehaven. It took me until I was well on my way home to realize that I didn't have the money to pay the driver, so when we pulled up I opened the door and legged it. The driver shouted after me 'I will get my revenge!'.

    Oh, how i laughed.
    I seem to remember it was only a few days ago that you were suggesting that we all thought carefully before posting anything. You may have laughed, but can I suggest it was because you didn't put yourself in the shoes of anyone affected by the events in Cumbria before posting this 'funny' story...

  8. #428
    Senior Member GNASHER's Avatar
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    John Doh,f**k off to another forum or stop trying to stir sh1t here.

  9. #429
    Senior Member John Doh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GNASHER View Post
    John Doh,f**k off to another forum or stop trying to stir sh1t here.
    I'm not wishing to stir anything - but was hoping that, following Kev's intervention, we might have buried some of the sh1t. I certainly don't want to see it all starting again. I can indulge in black humour myself, but just find that particular example a bit insensitive - and it's as if Pablo feels the need to see how far he can go. I know I'm not the only one who finds that a bit tedious. Tell me do you find that 'joke' funny?

  10. #430
    Senior Member GNASHER's Avatar
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    Yes and the 6 other ones I got by text.

  11. #431
    Senior Member GNASHER's Avatar
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    This new tory gov is not working for jobs.Since it came in,3 prostitutes have been axed in Bradford and now 12 people have got the bullet in Cumbria.

  12. #432
    Senior Member GNASHER's Avatar
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    B & B from £6 a night,get pi55ed up and ride on some of the worlds best rollercoasters before taking in the match,guaranteed 3 points for your team and countless drunken slappers out on the town after the game.........





    Carlsberg don't do away games but the PremierLeague does...welcome to Blackpool.

  13. #433
    Liverpool New Yorker! Ronijayne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by essexscouse View Post
    Old man goes to Docs concerned about his hearing going and coming back at different times Doc says describe the symptoms Man says well Marge has got blue hair
    I don't get it
    Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

  14. #434
    Liverpool New Yorker! Ronijayne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GNASHER View Post
    This new tory gov is not working for jobs.Since it came in,3 prostitutes have been axed in Bradford and now 12 people have got the bullet in Cumbria.
    Bad taste!
    Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

  15. #435
    George
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    John Doh,f**k off to another forum or stop trying to stir sh1t here.
    He has a right to his opinions just like you.

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