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Thread: Bobs' Funnies,for the jokes both old and new

  1. #406
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    What are 3 words you never wanna hear while having sex ? Honey, I'm home!

  2. #407
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    When I'm hungover I always fancy something fatty.

    Mmmmmmm Vanessa Feltz

  3. #408
    Senior Member Jenny's Avatar
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    Keep them coming Pabs... there great

  4. #409
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Keep them coming Pabs... there great
    I knew you'd like them.

  5. #410
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    I was in the pub the other day telling that old joke about "What do you do if you see an epileptic have a fit in the bath? Throw in your washing!" We were all having a good laugh about this when someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me mate but I dont find that funny. My brother was epileptic and he died in the bath during a fit." I said "Im ever so sorry mate, did he drown?" "No" he said "he choked on a sock"

  6. #411
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    I got visit from the RSPCA today.

    Turns out Cash for Gold don't take fish.

  7. #412
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    There was a man that threw some salad at me... Tosser.

  8. #413
    Pablo42 pablo42's Avatar
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    It was the middle of the night in the balloon household and everyone was asleep, except baby ballon who had had a nightmare. He went throught to his parents room and tried to squeeze inbetween mummy balloon and daddy balloon but he just could'nt quite fit, so he went to his mum's knot and let out a bit of air, but he still could'nt fit so he went to his dad's and let out some air but still he couldnt fit, finally he undid his own knot and let out some air, finally he could fit in. In the morning when they all woke up the mummy and daddy ballon where furious! they yelled at baby ballon ''not only have you let your me and your mum down youve also let yourself down''.

  9. #414
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    In the world of metal detecting, my uncle's at the top of his field.......all alone......the sad sod.

  10. #415
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    I've just joined my local Tug Of War team...

    I'm not very good yet, but they're only showing me the ropes

  11. #416
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    I have to stop biting my nails.. I'm running out of things to hang my pictures with.

  12. #417
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    I don't have OCD.

    I've read 13,253 books on it, so I'd know if I did.

  13. #418
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    I saved up my Sun newspaper tokens for the cheap England shirt, it came today and when I checked the size it said;

    XXX Thick

  14. #419
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    I got my hair cut yesterday, and at first i really didn't like it..

    But it's growing on me.

  15. #420
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    His request approved, the Fox News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
    'Why?' asked the pilot.
    'Because I'm a photographer for Fox Cable News,' he responded. 'And I need to get some close up shots.'
    The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . you're NOT my flight instructor?


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