T.V. or not T.V.,that is the question....................
Grandma now had a t.v. set,as did a lot of my classmates families,the newspapers carried lots of stories about the programmes and the new television stars.We were missing out,but I couldn't quite see what it was that we were missing.When I went to Grandmas ,on a Sunday,I would see programmes like "Animal Vegetable Mineral" which had professors guessing what objects had been laid before them.Sir Mortimer Wheeler,Professor Joad,Marghanita Laski and other divers characters peopled these shows,and they were popular! But only because there was the one channel.There was always a childrens play on a Sunday,as well as Sooty and Sweep.Most of the good stuff seemed to be on in the week,which we never saw because we never had a television.And then one day Mum got Jess and me together and proposed that we get our own t.v.set.We would have to contribute towards it,but it would be like being able to go to the pictures every day.Sold!!
She went off to arrange an HP deal with Pools(shudder),and within a week they delivered the most wonderful looking television set.It was like a small wardrobe,finished in polished mahogany,it had two doors,behind which was a 17 inch screen.It was a wonderful piece of furniture...literally.When the man installed it, he got a picture of the test card on screen ,switched it off ,and then told us that broadcasts would start after 3-00p.m
We waited for Dad to get home so that he would have the pleasure of launching the Daleys into the T.V. age.
As soon as we had cleared away the evening meal,Dad switched on the box.
Zilch,there was nothing but snow on the screen and loud noises from the speakers.
Jess had to call Pools out to get things sorted,days later,the man turns up,twiddles the knobs,gets the test card,and goes away again.That night was a rerun of our first night,and so it went for many more weeks(I find it hard to believe that people put up with such poor service then ,but they did)
Pools would not take the set back,Mum wouldn't pay them,we were missing programmes.I phoned Pools,I told them that their set was being put on the landing and they would have to get it before the local kids did.It was gone within hours ,and Mum went to Radio Rentals.
Prior to possessing a t.v.,Mum and Dad would go out every Saturday,leaving Jess to watch over us.They would go out with friends and relatives to places like the Coffee House in Woolton. It was always jars out after closing time,and they would come back to our house for a pea soup and spare rib supper.There was always a crate or two for wetting the tonsils,and everybody used to give us their favourite song;quite often Jess and I would be fetched out if bed to sing a song or three.
Television killed all that stone dead.
Mum would stop at home from now on,there would be a big bag of toffees,and all, except Dad, would sit down in front of the box for our evenings entertainment. Dad would get togged up as usual and go off on his own to get bladdered.He always came home with the War Cry in his pocket.
What was it that kept us glued to the Box on a Saturday?Well,there was a thriller serial at about half past seven,"The Quatermass Experiment" and "The Trollenberg Terror" are two that I remember.We were so frightened of them that we checked under the bed before going to sleep.There was a series of "Saturday Spectaculars" which were variety shows hosted by stars like Eric Sykes,Dave King,Jon Pertwee,and others.Except for Jon Pertwees,most shows were just stage shows,with jugglers,ventriloquists,etc.Jon used to have some filmed sketches as well.Broadcasting stopped well before midnight,and so we would be in bed by the time Dad got back.
Mum staying at home enabled Jess to get out and start enjoying her teenage.
She was now a very pretty young lady,with a string of admirers and some very nice mates,with whom I was constantly developing crushes,not that they ever knew it,pre-teen age boys didn't appear on teenaged girls radar.
There were very few lads over the age of eighteen about now,I was beginning to become aware of a thing called National Service.Something my Dad was always saying we could do with.Apparently they made men out of you,it certainly changed the older lads in our gang.Teddy boys went in and would come home on their first leave.....unrecognisable.Short haired,with a Khaki uniform that had creases that were razor sharp ,and shiny boots to match.They were smart,and Dad used to point them out as examples.
Our Jess would have gone to college in another life,she had the brains for it ,and the aptitude,I was like Eeyore beside her.But school leaving time was here and Jess was going to work,in the Matchworks.
The first working day after Easter !955 saw our Jess,with a fresh white turban and an emerald green overall,join in the throng that responded to the works hooter.Out along the landings they flooded ,a green and white tide surging across Speke Road to begin another working day.For Jess ,it was the first step on the road to independence.
It was now my job to see to the fetching and and carrying of Chris to Maggie Browns.It was not much bother to me because I did it on the way to and from school.
It was around this time that my Mums younger brother, Frank ,came to see us .He was living at Grandmas with his wife Vera and their three children,life was a bit crowded for them there and he was so excited because the railway were going to let him have one of their trackside cottages by South Liverpool cemetery. It was very isolated,reached only by a long cinder track that ran between the cemetery and the wall that protected the railway track and property.The gate to their cottage was set in the wall about a third of a mile from Horrocks avenue.When they moved in ,Uncle Frank invited me over and showed me around.It was wonderful,there were vast expanses of growing areas ,and it was all his.The wall shielded the property the whole length of the lane.Frank was so excited as he mapped out the land with his hands,"We'll have potatoes there ,and cabbage,over there I'll plant beans and peas.Here we'll have a flower garden and we'll clear some ground for a play area." I was swept along with his enthusiasm and promised to help as much as I could. The cottage itself was very Victorian,there was room enough for all his family but it was old fashioned.Vera and Frank would have their work cut out for a few years before they would make any headway.
In the meantime ,I was still on the lookout for a regular source of income.And most jobs for schoolboys involved the need to ride a bike.Problem.I had never had a bike,nor could I ride one.
One of my classmates had a commando bike,these were made during the war for our special forces,they were fold up bikes and had a double crossbar.But they were bikes and I would have been glad to have one,however on this day,Ray let me have a go at riding his bike.I got it in motion,very shakily,but momentum ironed out the wobble ,and soon I was riding.I didn't see the kerb until it was too late.The front wheel hit it and I shot forward on to the double crossbar crushing the crown jewels.I hobbled home,covered in embarassment,for some of the girls from Duncombe Road school had seen my mishap.
When I went to the lavatory that night ,I saw that my stool was bright red.I didn't wish to alarm my Mum an kept quiet about it.Next morning ,it was the same bright red colour.After dropping Chris off at Maggies,I went to see Doctor Gibson,who promptly ordered an ambulance to take me to Myrtle Street hospital.I was pushed and pulled ,and given a good old examination,but they were puzzled as to why I was making bright red stools.
They gave me a note to come back next day,with a parent,or guardian ,so that I could have an X-ray.Mum asked Maggie if she could go with me and she said o.k.
Next day I was mortified when Maggie sat in the room whilst the doctors pulled my meat and two veg this way and that.The X-ray was taken and the doctors were looking at it,trying to see what was wrong,when I reached into my pocket for the bag of sweets that I had there for the past three days.
I was just putting an aniseed ball into my mouth when the doctor looked at me."How long have you had them for?" he shouted.I told him and I thought he was going to hit me,but he burst out laughing instead."Go home boy " he said.And I walked out with a familliar burning of cheeks.
Maggie couldn't wait to tell Mum,she also told her something else"You Know his willy isn't any bigger than it was when I caught him waggling it at our Rose 8 years ago.I wanted the floor to open up beneath me.