The Mudmen Code,a potty history of Garston

We were carousing in the Tavern, letting off steam, if that is the correct word to use, being Firemen, on St Migual Island in the Azores, when we noticed a man sat quivering and shaking with a bottle of grog in his hand. We went to him, ?What`s up Mate? we asked.
He was as drunk as a monkey, he said his name was Kay Evin, an Engineer, he was the only survivor of a Harrison boat that had sunk and he had drifted for six days before being found by the local fishermen. He wanted to go home, we told him there would be a job on the Garstonian as we had somehow lost two engineers.
In the early hours we all staggered back to our ship and told Captain Julian what we had found. He signed him on immediately, The first thing that Kay Evin said was, ?Can I have a sub?. "No chance, now sober up, we are away in the morning.? Said our Captain.
In the early hours we completed bunkering, the native labour going ashore, the fresh water tanks full, and the Chief Steward had loaded fresh stores. Then we fed the furnaces and got up steam, 180 psi. and sailed again.
Things didn?t seem any better in the victuals department. We heard that as fast as stores came on board, our Assistant Steward, a shifty character, called Geof Glasse, was passing it over the other side to a bum boat and collected a quite a few pounds for it. No one liked him, he was always lurking and listening at cabin doors, and had a very untrustworthy manner. He was always telling tales to the Captain if he heard any thing the lads were talking about in the mess room.
On making enquiries about the amount of stores in the store rooms, The Captain summoned the Chief Steward, Mr Kinghorn and the ship`s Cook, Ernest Norris Green. They told him the stores were loaded in St. Migual and checked as it came up the gangway, Mr Glasse was in charge of stowing it in the Store rooms. So it must have been him who knew the where abouts of the said stores.
Mr Glasse was summoned to the Master`s cabin and in front of the Chief Officer, Chief Steward, and the Cook he finally confessed to selling the stores to the bum boat.The Captain logged him and he was told he would have to pay for all the missing stores and then face prosecution on arrival in Liverpool.
One day the Third Mate, Mr Twize Daley, went to the Captain`s cabin, just after breakfast and found him on his hands and knees vomiting into a bucket. The Assistant Steward was lurking in the pantry, doing nothing to help the Captain.
He went to the Chief Officer`s cabin for assistance and Mr Brewer was in a collapsed state having vomited all over his carpet. He gave them a tot of brandy to revive them but to no avail. They both expired. Both bodies were transferred to the refridgerated hold to be kept until arrival in Buenos Aires.
Mr Twyze Daley and Mr Wilfred Liverbob did a superb job of navigating the Garstonia to Buenos Aires, The British Consul was immediately summoned to the vessel and all the details given to him.
Our stay in the Argentine was not a jolly one, a funeral had to be arranged through the agent, and all hands assembled at the gravesides. Then after loading a cargo of frozen Argentine Beef and made ready for sea, the Consul arrived with a British Sea Captain who had been living ashore in Buenos Aires, to help to take the ship on its long voyage back to Liverpool.


The murder of the Captain and Chief Officer of the S.S. GARSTONIA.
Daily Telegrph, Monday April 13th 1850
The Murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and Chief Officer Mr R. Brewer on the high seas
In accordance with the instructions of the Board of Trade, Geoffrey Glasse, Assistant Steward on board the ship Garstonia, was examined before the Sefton Borough Magistrates charged with the wilful murder of Capt Julian Aspinall, and Mr R. Brewer, Chief Officer of the ship, by poison.
The Garstonian was on the way to, the Argentine port of Buenos Aires, with some five passengers and a cargo of `Gerston Mud` in barrels, on the voyage the Captain and Chief Officer died from the effects of poison.
The ship put into Buenos Aires and Her Majesty?s Consul decided to send Glasse back to England, on board the Garstonia, in irons, to be charged with the wilful murder of the Captain and Chief Officer
First witness called was Mr, Twize Daley, the Third Mate,of the ship, who said that during the voyage the Captain was very good to the men and frequently saw to their conditions and victuals.. The Captain and Chief Officer died on Thursday 21st of December 1849
He told the Court that on the Saturday previous to the deaths, a pig died in an unusual manner, and on that day I saw the prisoner Mr Glasse the steward in the pig-sty feeding the pig
Mr Daley said he went to the Chief Officer?s cabin and he was sat at the head of the bed vomiting, Mr Glasse was lurking the pantry next door to the cabin. I asked the him what was wrong with the Chief Officer.
He said, ?I do not know, but you will hear about it in time.?
I went for a bottle of brandy and when I returned I saw the Chief officer on the floor of the closet, he looked very ill. I assisted to get him back to his cabin and laid him on his bed, he did not speak.. I administered a tot of brandy to him.
Mr Brewer then seemed well enough, but soon after he was laid down again. . He also started to vomit to some extent again and then he expired.
I went to the Captains cabin and he was on his knees vomiting into a bucket. He was exceedingly ill and weak I tried to get him into his bunk but he fell back and was dead.

On Wednesday 14th Nov, the ships Cook, Mr Ernest Norris Green, said he cooked the breakfast, a pan of Scouse. and laid some out for the Captain?s cabin, and said, he gave the prisoner, Mr Glasse, the breakfast to take to the Captain`s cabin.about 8.00 am. I was called away and when I returned I found the prisoner there.in the galley again. He was going to take a breakfast to Mr Brewer`s cabin.
I noticed nothing particular in his manner. When breakfast was ready the prisoner took it to the Chief Officer`s cabin.
The ?Scouse? was in a saucepan, and could easily be got at.
The prisoner, Mr Glasse, came to me about 10am and appeared rather confused.
I said, ?What is the matter?
He said, ?No, it is all right.?
That afternoon after the deaths of the Captain and the Chief Officer, Mr Glasse was placed under arrest by Mr Twyce Daley, the Third Officer and charged with poisoning them. The poison had been tested first on the pig in the pig sty.
On the following investigation, it was shown that Mr Glasse had been accused by the Captain and the Chief Officer of selling the ship`s stores to the Bum boats in St Migual in the Azores. He was severely reprimanded and the moneys for the stores were to be deducted from his wages and a prosecution to be made on arrival at Liverpool.
Other witnesses were called and confirmed the above facts
Witnesses, ship?s crew
Joe Finnegan of Liverpool AB
Martin Quinne of Liverpool AB
Tom Black apprentice
Ernest Taylor of Wigan quartermaster
Harry Brown.Boatswain


The case then proceeded
April 14th 1850
The Jury brought in a verdict of guilty, to the murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and the Chief Officer, Mr R, Brewer, by poisoning, to cover up his accusations of stealing the said Stores.
The Judge, Mr Justice Fairley, donned his black cap and said to the prisoner .?You will be taken to a place of execution and will be hanged by the neck until you are dead?.
On the 21st of April, Mr Glasse was taken out of his cell in the Bridewell and taken to the holding cell by the scaffold in the street outside of Kirkdale Prison,,a crowd of some 50,000 people had assembled to watch the demise of this man. A carnival atmosphere was in the air, women and children were there, a popular song was heard by the condemned man as he shivered in the holding cell at 1130.
As the hour of twelve noon struck, oathes of d*mnation were shouted from the assembled crowd as he was brought out in between two priests, his face twitching, his lips moving but not a sound was uttered. He was pushed up the steps and he screamed ?Innocent I am Innocent, Holy Mother help me?. The Executioner, Mr Howard, placed the noose over his head and a white cloth over his face. The lever is pulled and Geoffery Glasse drops to his death. He twitches for a moment and then hangs limp, the cloth had been pulled away and his tongue hangs loosely from his mouth. The crowd slowly drift away, the carnival is over. Justice was seen to be done.

By a strange twist of fate, Geoffrey Glasse was a decendant of Jeffery de Glasse who was hired by the ancester of Julian Apinall, the Baron de Aspin, to take the life of my ancester, Michael de Aspin, exactly two hundred years ago.
Revenge at last.
Michael Aspinall.

There was a strange twist to this tale, which was hushed up by the authorities of the time, due to the possibility of great embaressment to those responsible with the security arrangements in Kirkdale prison.
It seems that the ever resourseful Glasser had, whilst having a last sup of grog with his jailer, slipped a potion made from Garston mud that he had secreted about himself, into the guards pot this would normally have done no harm to the unfortunate jailer, but Glasser knew that if mixed with rat droppings and a drop of the poor quality grog, it would induce a hypnotic trance like state.
As soon as the poor fellow became incapacitated, Glasser slipped onto his face a mask fashioned skillfully in his own image from a mixture of straw,three day old gruel, and chewed newspaper cuttings. By vomiting over the jailers new face, Glasser new no one would wish to check too closely the identity of the wearer underneath.
As the time of his execution was only minutes away, Glasser,snatched the keys, unlocked the door of his cell, and made his escape, though not before callousely merging with the crowd outside to see the poor jailer hang in his place.
Only when the body was taken to the morgue was the terrible deed revealed.
Once again, the devious Jeffrey Glasser had outwitted those who had seeked to destroy him.
Having had time to reflect whilst in prison, he realised he had met a clever adversary in this Aspinall fellow, and decided that he would approach him with a plan that if they worked together, the world was their oyster!

Ba*t*rd

Well, maybe not!

Drat and double Drat, I am going to have to find some more of Michaels Journals from way back. He will get you in the end. You have no chance.

Curses alehouse, you may have foiled my plans for World domination today, but don't under estimate we Glassers, for as you are aware, over the centuries we've managed, through devious and double dealing ways, survived to this day. There is still time to join forces but if you choose to stay an adversary, then beware. We will turn up at the most inoppurtune moments in all your tales. So there!

Beware of Plagiarists and Lousy Imitators

New Hayes Hospital 1999

Mr Keegan took a turn for the worse a little after sunrise, I called the duty doctor and he ordered that he be removed to the special care unit. Fortunately ,I was given the task of taking care of his few belongings and so packed away his brass bound casket into a locker in the staff quarters . I removed all the papers ,including the crumpled items ,which were old letters and news cuttings.
I determined that I would sort everything into date order so that I could understand more clearly that which I had been reading. I had three days leave due and would use them to discover what secrets might lie within those pages. And those pages were in a really sorry state.. Fire and age had caused most damage, there were great gaps in the chronology and some papers had been badly charred so that big pieces were missing from them. I made my first task that of sorting out the news clippings. Most of them dated from the August of 1898, there were reports of the Garston Fruit Companys? new vessel The Garstonia , photographs of her entering the new dock at Garston and of the Captain on the wing of the bridge were shown alongside the story of her building and of her intended purpose in extending the GFC?s service on the South American continent. Other reports detailed the unrest that was being fomented by troublemakers from Liverpool, the dockers of that port were in dispute with their employers and had withdrawn their labour. Attempts were made to bring out the dockers in Garston to join them in their strike but the men of Garston declared that they had no cause to withdraw their labour. Successive reports showed the growth of unrest around the dock entrances as troublemakers sought to intimidate the local men from going about their labours.
More men were brought down from Liverpool and major fighting broke out between the strikers and the loyal dockers .On the night of the fourteenth of August a great conflagration was started in the north dock and this rapidly spread throughout the whole dock complex. The militia were called out to assist the Police in fighting the Liverpool hooligans as the fire took a hold on the riverside.. Only two ships managed to escape the holocaust, a small collier and a yardarm. ketch . Three vessel were so badly damaged that they would never put to sea again , they were the Mudskipper, the Alfreton, a square rigger ,and the new wonder ship ,the Garstonia.
Most of the warehouses were destroyed and a great many lives were lost in the attempt to stem the blaze. There were some reports of the funerals of those who were lost in the fire and of the memorial service that was held for the mariners who had lost their lives whilst trying to save their vessels. The newly commissioned Captain of the Garstonia , Julian Aspinall and his faithful servant Mr Glasser were given special mention by the Bishop of Garston as being ?Heroes, the very best of British blood, they died in the battle against the dark forces??.?
Upon a closer reading of these items I found that the striking dockers were being held to blame for the inferno; the Chief Constable of Garston , Mr Ballack, was of the opinion that the whole dispute was engineered by Liverpool shipowners who sought to destroy the port of Garston because of the threat she presented to them.
There was great ill feeling in the borough towards their, now , larger neighbour.
There were letters to the editor lamenting the loss of such a fine vessel as the Garstonia and of what fine tales cold have been told by the men who would have sailed in her had she made it to sea..
After sorting these clippings I then gave my attention to the Journal of Kerrigan J Keegan , from the scattered information in the torn and tattered pages I was able to ascertain that he was initiated into the Order of Mudmen in the January of 1899, within a short while he had graduated into one of the senior degrees and was thus made privy to some of their innermost secrets.
The initiation ceremonies and induction into the senior degrees were undertaken in the hidden cellars of the old Cathedral , a site that had long disappeared beneath the mighty new gasworks.
He writes of a secret gate in the perimeter wall of the Gasworks and trap door that was artfully disguised within the plant, steps led down to the old Lodge rooms and therein still stood the Golem.
The Grand Master of the Mudmen ,a man of unknown age , lived down there permanently and never ascended to the surface. He lived in an inner chamber and never appeared with his face unmasked. He never spoke in their presence and an Orator conveyed all messages and communications from him to the Brethren. But his word was Law. The great chemical works in Garston now manufactured the medicines and cosmetics that were obtained from our mud and Garston was now predominant in that field.. By the turn of the 19th century ,both Garston and the Brethren were at their peak, the Liberal Arts and Sciences , Music , Drama and Terpsichorean endeavours were pursued by all and sundry within our great Borough. The Dockers Ballet Corps was drawing great plaudits from the cognescenti, the Mary Ellens dance troupe was now on its third tour of England and the Woodcutters Orchestra was drawing up a programme to draw all the different strands of music and dance together for the celebration of Queen Victorias Diamond Jubilee.
The documents have become easier to read now that I have put them in proper chronological order and I will pick up the journal from where Kerrigan was copying from the earlier writings of the first settlers in the New World.
Summer 1999.
!

:)
That "Garston Mud"!, seems to getting more "Potent" with every new batch that is being "brewe(r)d" !!!!

Bob F :002: :PDT_Aliboronz_24: :PDT_Aliboronz_24:

Veeery clever, Brian, Ha! but you don't get rid of us that easy. It was mentioned later after the enquiry, that one of the dock workers helping to extinguish the inferno that the 'Garstonian' had become, noticed what appeared to be two crew members, one wearing a distinctive striped waistcoat and spectacles, the other dressed in the attire of a ships fireman, diving over the stern into the dock, surfacing a short distance later and swimming towards the opposite side of the dock, whereupon they dissappeared into the darkness.

It was noted and acted upon,the said pair went off in search of their lost crew mate Paddy and were last seen heading for South Georgia on the "Orca" an old Norwegian whaler.Only you, or your old captain can fill in the gaps. Did you find Paddy or was he taken by the flesh eaters of Bora Bora . Did captain Aspinall realise what his Tiger really meant to him and take him by the tail? Is there life on Cilla Black? Please tell us what happened afterwards!

I am thinking.
I am thinking
I am thinking.

Well would you mind not making so much noise while you're doing it,some of us have got to sleep you know!!!

I too have been thinking, but of course in a silent and sneaky underhand way!

Set us a bit of a poser there Brian, but do'nt worry, as soon as we can remember how the tale continues, you'll be the first to know.

There was'nt life on Cilla before, so I see no reason for there to be any now!

I too am thinking, there maybe a plan, or there may be not.
The only life on cilla maybe the sandys.

Not with those teeth