Oh Yes!!:o I have never seen the Simpsons and never will, I grab the remote as soon as I hear the music but I did of course know one of them has blue hair!! *tskQuote:
Originally Posted by kevin
Printable View
Oh Yes!!:o I have never seen the Simpsons and never will, I grab the remote as soon as I hear the music but I did of course know one of them has blue hair!! *tskQuote:
Originally Posted by kevin
Yes, but your opinion might count for more if you gave reasons instead of abuse.Quote:
Originally Posted by GNASHER
Lighten up Lil, why do you come on the joke thread when it's clear you have no sense of humour.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil V
I think Lil is making the point that laughing about people who were just recently murdered is not considered humorous by most people. The' jokes 'that were put on forums right after 9-11 did not seem funny to a friend of mine who's only son (only child) was blown up there two months after her husband died of cancer.Quote:
Originally Posted by suzi
The people who just had their loved ones randomly shot in the UK are in such pain, it seems so wrong. IMO
A South African woodworker is applying for a job and must answer three questions!
Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The woodworker says. "Dat is easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the foreman asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the woodworker.
"Fair enough," says the foreman. "Here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The woodworker stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "'Ere you go."
The foreman scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?
" Each of da trees is dirty now ! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The foreman is getting worried he's going to have to hire this fellow, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.
" The woodworker stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, Ere you go. One hundred."
The foreman looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!
" The woodworker leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree, and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred... So when I start?"
Is THAT you're brand of humour then ? Laughing at something that has just happened in Cumbria ?Quote:
Originally Posted by suzi
It is YOU that is without humour , either that , or you are far to insensitive , ignorant , or both ! To understand a bad taste so called 'joke' when you see it .
Or could it be that you don't even bother to READ threads here , you just jump in to defend a mate ?
I could just ignore this in order to preserve the new-found relative tranquillity on the site, but this is obviously an issue that continues to trouble you, so can you explain in more detail, please? One reading of this might be that, in order properly to appreciate tired old racist/ sexist/ plain sick jokes, it is necessary to undergo an ordeal by fire. Is your argument that humour - any humour - helps you to cope? Or is it that the experience of war has caused you to become desensitised to humanitarian issues? Either way, I can only be glad that I have escaped such a traumatic experience, even if it's left me without an ability to appreciate such 'humour'.Quote:
Originally Posted by pablo42
Abuse? He/she only posts to start sh1t. Reasons ? look at all his/her posts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil V
Fu**in' tosser.Quote:
Originally Posted by John Doh
Please do! And don't just look at them - read them properly. Please let me know if you can point to any instance where I have abused anyone. I admit that I can't guarantee not to have offended someone, but usually it's been when I've spoken out to prevent abuse by others.Quote:
Originally Posted by GNASHER
See what I mean: I call that abuse and it's not something I do...Quote:
Originally Posted by GNASHER
This is what happens when you ask questions on this site . Intelligent questions normally require an intelligent response .Quote:
Originally Posted by GNASHER
John Doh , i am afraid that you'll never get that here , on this thread . Lets look at the people . We have the desensitised self professed master of all knowledge and king of humour .
Next comes the scantily clad bimbo , who has yet to give us sensible answer or opinion on anything without first consulting her mentor . Sorry there appears to be three of them , all scantily clad , now that is interesting to me , why do they demean themselves as women like that ? Or rather allow themselves to be demeaned .
Then there's Gnasher , who is completely oblivious to the situation , and can only offer the obligatory F**king Tosser quote !
Mr Doh , may i say that you are wasting your precious time and energy on these people , where there is no sense , there is no feeling .
Consider this my last post ,these idiots are not worth my time .
Seeing that I cannot find the general chat on here, I am sorry to hijack this thread, but after reading the last few posts on here. I have decided to take a break from this forum. I will occasionally browse and if I find anything interesting, I may post, but for now I say cheerio. Maybe speak again sometime. I have been on so many forums which have started off really great, then you get a few nasties who spoil it for everyone. Which seems to be the case here. I am not leaving I am just taking a break.
"Least said..." :)
Hi Linda, Sorry to see you go but I agree with your sentiments wholeheartedly. When Kev originally started this site as 'Scouseproud' it was a fun experience to contribute and respond to (I was then scousemouse) alas, quality of contributions deteriorated and inevitably few, if any, of the original members are now in evidence. Some of the comments on here are a downright disgrace and do their authorsQuote:
Originally Posted by lindac8941
no credit. Strong moderation is needed before the site goes to Hell in a handcart. Cheers and good luck.
Linda, I agree and it is sad. It is such a great site BUT I said I was not going to post for a while also but as Kev has changed the site I am keeping an open mind and see how it is when I get back from the Hamptons next Friday.
I too have been alarmed about the threats and personal slanging. It is not acceptable in adults. I called for calmness a few times last week.
I love a good debate, you learn and get your own say but threats of violence and insults are not my way of life nor will I allow it to be what I read in a forum no matter how many other wonderful people there may be on that forum. I don't like to see people having to defend themselves or feel so bad they leave.
Just how I feel.
Isn't there a danger, though, that if all the thoughtful, sensitive people who want to have a rational chat or debate - not necessarily on a terribly deep intellectual level - leave the forum, then we'll only be left with the purveyors of unreason, prejudice and bad taste 'jokes'. Isn't it the case that sometimes it's necessary to take a stand - without, of course, sinking to their level?Quote:
Originally Posted by lindac8941
--Well foolish pride has alot of things to say
You got foolish pride, you got tooth decay
But tooth decay is another problem
So let's take this old foolish pride and solve it
Now
Reg
Well said, Reg.
As for the rest of you, may I remind you that the Bob who started this thread is no longer with us and we continued it in his memory?
Please take your squabbles elsewhere.
Thanks Kevin, and that inspired me to go back over the pages to the very beginning of the thread. On Page 2 I came across two posts from you, Nos. 12 and 14 that I think are still very relevant, even though the gags you were unhappy with at the time seem to me quite mild compared to what has been posted recently. Your views were rejected then by other members and by Post No. 18 your opposition had crumbled, though you did say you had been concerned about the reactions of others. I share this view and can't see how this squares with your present view. You now seem to be reducing any debate of these serious issues as mere squabbling.Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin
This will be my one and only response, so read it carefully.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil V
As far as I recall, those posts were on another forum and migrated here when Kev responded to Brian Daley's request for a sailors section as the forum we were on was closing - no trouble, the guy running it had health problems and no longer wanted to carry on. Brian can maybe remind us of the exact circumstances.
I raised those issues at the time but gave in and accepted popular opinion amongst the members - if you want to call that 'crumbled' go ahead. I wasn't keen on some of the jokes but others were. I haven't been keen on some of the jokes more recently either but wasn't going to enter the fray again - enough people were offering their opinions. I therefore neither defended no criticised.
Since all of those earlier posts Bob died - and while you and others may have taken exception to more recent jokes, he might not have done (I've seen far more contributions from him than are on this thread). However, the bickering and insults that have recently surfaced on this thread don't really belong here. People expressing distaste or acceptance of the jokes is fine by me - they are entitled to their opinions - but not the elements that I called squabbling. That is the bit I object to.
Is that clearer?
To me your post looks like just another attempt by John/Lil to feed the flames and keep the unrest on Yo sustained. I won't be sustaining it as I won't be responing to any reply you see fit to make.
At least I have friends. Perhaps you don't know what they are.Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyMo's
The scantilly clad bimbo is not me. Just like I suppose your avatar is not you.Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyMo's
I think I will join Linda and leave this forum. There are people on here just wanting to cause trouble. That is for you John/ Lil V.
Freaks.
Does Kev have to lockthis forum as well?
You have had your say now please leave it at that and move on.
Those that stir things are the ones who repeatedly reply to obnoxious post instead of letting sleeping dogs lie and ignore the post.
There is no better defence than ignoring a poster or post.
Get a life,move on.
I'm NOT interested in feeding any flames or prolonging an inquiry where a direct response is being avoided; I was just hoping that Kevin would be able to explain how the distaste felt not just by me or John but by several other members, some of whom have now left the forum, is different from that expressed by him in those early pages of this thread. I have not been abusive, though others have; they seem to be the ones who insist on continually stoking things up. I, however, like Kevin will leave it now.
I'm not one for confrontation or arguments, but really John/ Lil you guys are just lookijng to wind people up. Kevin, Suzi and Pablo do not deserve that. This thread is for Bob. I have gone too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil V
I agree with you Jill. John Doh has been nothing but a complete and utter bully.
Nobody needs to be treated the way you have treated Pablo, Jill , Suzi, Kevin and myself.
I HAVE GONE TOO.
Hasn't anyone heard of the ignore button ??? Anyway, this thread ain't the place for carrying this on. It's a joke thread, not an argument thread. With that in mind, one I got earlier...
Eskimo comes home from fishing to find his wife in tears
"What's the matter?" he asks
the wife replied "My mother's just died"
Eskimo slaps her round the face.
"What the hell was that for?" she asks
"That's for making me laugh when I've got chapped lips" :)
Bob Fairley was one of the most likeable men I ever met, brief though our meetings happened to be. Bob never had an unkind word for any living creature. If any of you had known him, you would agree with all of this. He was what you younger ones now refer to as a beautiful man. Old and frail, but full of impish humour, and his name was given to this thread as a sort of compliment to his contributions to the site. I am certain he would be very upset at what has happened to it.
Perhaps we should recognize that this is the Liverpool Sailors sounding board, and Bob's thread is part of it. Liverpool sailors are likely to be a bit rough around the edges, and devoid of any political correctness, so you can expect this humour to reflect it. Also, most surviving merchant seamen are long in the tooth, and not too up-to-date on latest flavours/colours etc. With that in mind, perhaps those of you who are not ex-seamen and cannot tolerate the things you read on here, should just disembark and walk out of the dock gates to a thread more suited to your own tastes.
Don't turn this thread into something it was never intended to be. The Chit-Chat thread is no more.
Well said Malcolm, I could'nt have put it better my self,let's have a bit more puckish laughter ,Old Bob was like that,
BrianD
More eloquently put than I managed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Samsette
Thanks.
I've just had a beaver curry.
It was just like a normal curry but a little otter.
A blind scouser walks into a Manhattern bar.
He orders a drink and says to the barman,"Do you want to hear a joke about New Yorkers?"
Silence falls and the man next to him says,"Before you say anything,the bloke behind the bar is from Queens,The bloke on the door is from Harlam and I'm an ex line backer from the Bronxs.Do you still want to tell your joke?"
"Nah" says the scouser." Not if I've got to explain 3 times".
Thank you Brian and Kevin. And thank you also, Gnasher, for keeping the jokes coming.
A teacher at a school for obese children has been sacked for cocaine addiction.
He was given away by his massive pupils.
If i dont win the lottery i am going to marry a chinese millionairess i met last week....her name is Cha Ching
Hi For those that have not seen the" lighthouse joke" before here it is on u-tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SluwRjiMyA
Reg.
New Rules for Government Employees
Dress Code
It is advised that you dress according to your salary.
If we see you leaving on holidays wearing fancy shoes and carrying an Eddie Bauer bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to go to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. In the case of lighthouse keepers, as you have no place to go, you might as well work them.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in writing to the office for a future date.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board in the office under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people can take 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our department. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
- author unknown
Reg.
Hi Reg,
Are you the man in charge of the governments new think tank ? Sounds a bit like the new governments policy,
BrianD