What's Meant for me.
My divorce came through March 1970, the year before I met Tommy.
I felt blessed, my relationship with Tommy was going from strength to strength.
I was still having nightmares, only close family knew of my horrific experience, if anybody outside the family asked me about being back with Mam I just smiled and said it just didn't work out. I was ashamed.
When my Mam realised that it was getting serious with Tommy, she started changing towards me, it was hard to put my finger on what was troubling her, at first she mentioned things like you know Tommy is a Catholic and you a Protestant, well John was a Catholic, and you know what happened with him, my reply was" not all Catholic men are wife beaters".
I thought that she was worried about me and trying to protect me as always, then it dawned on me, she just wanted us to stay the same, Mam, me and baby. I loved my Mam and I would always be thankful for all the support she had given me, I didn't want her to think I was ungrateful.
Tommy and myself arranged our wedding for September 1972, we had saved hard and found our ideal family house, we had been gazumped a couple of times, the house we eventually bought was over the water on the Wirral.
My vicar was Neville Black from St.Georges and when we approached him about marrying us he told us that he couldn't because I was divorced, what he could do was officiate along with St.Joseph's priest Father Baker. I don't know how, but me being married didn't count because it was in a Church of England Church.
I knew my Mam would be upset, in fact she wished me luck but she said could not go to my wedding because it was going to be in a Catholic Church, I pleaded with her.
My two eldest sisters said they could not upset their Mam and they didn't come, thank goodness for my youngest sister, she told me she would be there with me.
Tommy's Dad gave me away, we had a lovely wedding with only a handful of guests, I missed my Mam.
We moved into our new home, and fell into a good routine, Tommy travelled to Whitbread and me to Kraft, our daughter settled in school.
It took six months for Mam to speak to me. I understood she stood by her principles but I thought she would have relented.
In May1975 we had a beautiful daughter born in Oxford St. Maternity Hospital Liverpool.
In September 1975 Mam took ill and went into a coma, she passed away in Walton Hospital, I was distraught, my baby was four months old.
Before she died we had a conversation, she said that she was sorry for not going to my wedding and that in her words "I had done well this time". She had dementia and was sixty three.
January 1977 we had another daughter, our family was complete.
Will finish next time...
Came fourth...now what?
What's Meant for me? It's a Mr. A...
In a funny sort of way.
Lesley - we had similar problems with my mum, and ended up in a registry office rather than a church, but she did come.
The sad thing was,I think she would have gone to the wedding in the registry office, but Tommy was a practising Catholic and I thought it unfair to push him, although we felt so strongly for each other and wanted to be together, a registry office would have done us.
If the Catholic church had have said no, then off to the registry office we would have gone.
Sad innit when a Religion comes between two people getting wed,thing is your parents should not bestow their own beliefs on their children when it comes to getting wed or christenings.
I loved this Girl once but her Mother was giving her grief for the very same reason above and so I ended it because she herself loved her parents.
Threre are many more so called mixes Marriages these days and we must welcomes that. The old folk were like that, all those years ago, I don't know why but that's the way they were, now barriers have been broken down somewhat I'm glad to say. I'm glad to see things things are on the up, Lesley !
Oh by the way talking of mixed marriages, I support Everton and Tommy Liverpool.
Lesley thank goodness we don't have problems like that now, the old folk could be very funny about religion back then! So wonderful to read that you married your Tommy and had two daughters!
Like you I support Everton and my husband Liverpool. It has provided much banter over the years and I wouldn't have had it any other way!
Well Ruth is C of E, and a Liverpool fan.
Originally Posted by lesley1
I was raised RC and an Everton fan!
My eldest is a blue, my youngest a red.
Makes for an interesting mix!
Lesley, I saw you story yesterday and I felt sorry for you but happy you have found another man ( Tommy) that you can spend your life with, your story does bring back bad memories of my first marriage, myself I was first married in 1972( if you have time read my blogs) but as yours, mine didn't last, I am ashamed to admit it but as a man I was treated not to physical violence but MENTAL cruelty, according to my first wife I wasn't a man but a wimp and she actually be littled me in front of her men friends with glee, ( that's why it got that bad I tried to top myself but not trying to be silly but God wasn't ready to accept me) and that took me a very long to get over it even into my 2nd marriage, my first one lasted 16 month's as man & wife, but in name only for a further 4 years, funny I couldn't afford to hire a P.I to get evidence*, so I waited then they bought a law in 1976/77 then I applied and got told I was the first to get a divorce under this new law you must have been seperated for 2 years and the marriage must have broken irrectabble, I said how much they told me A$75+ court cost's of A$25, * to go this way was going to cost me in the region of A$1200+, now how is this for coincedence!!1 as I said tonight before coming to work, Janice said what are you looking at the marriage certificate for, I said this woman on YO said her vicar was Neville Black so we looked and Bingo it WAS the same name we laughed because when I bought it up and read it and we ourselfs couldn't get married because we both were divorced so we got a celbrate named Neville Black to marry us in KING'S PARK over looking PERTH CITY
---------- Post added at 02:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 AM ----------
Now that is a mixed marriage Everton & Liverpool, that's like Janice & me I support the Dockers & Janice the Eagles ( If your in oz you would know what I mean)
Originally Posted by lesley1
Thank you for sharing your story, did you read the first thread of my story," a little about me"?
By lesley1 in forum Liverpool North
Last Post: 09-15-2011, 08:18 PM
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