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Thread: Some more about me.

  1. #1
    Senior Member lesley1's Avatar
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    Default Some more about me.

    My sister moved into my Mams bedroom and I stayed in my own with my new husband.
    Any chance he could get he would go out for a drink, he would pick an argument with me, so that would be the excuse he needed to go out, he would come back all hours of the night drunk.

    My Daughter was born April 1968 a bouncing baby 8lb 5oz.
    When they brought the baby to me I was taken back how like me she looked, I talked to her and said " so your'e the one who has caused all this trouble" she looked at me and my heart melted, I loved her there and then.

    After we got home things became really bad and Mam said that she loved me but could no longer have us living with her, my sister was upset with all the goings on and was being affected by it all.

    I had saved 100 maternity benefit and found a house for rent in Easby Rd, Kirkdale.
    The rent was 3 a week, so that 100 paid the rent.
    I foolishly thought that things may get better between us if we lived on our own, in fact it got worse, I didn't have the security of my Mam being there to help me if John came in drunk.

    At this time my Mam had saved up to visit my Brother in Australia for Christmas, my younger sister was staying with our older sister, who at this time had bought her own house in Aintree by my oldest sister.
    I was going to be completely alone, Mam must have sensed this and gave me the key to hers just in case I needed to go there.
    On Christmas Eve John didn't come home from work, I had no coal and no money to buy food, so I went back to Mams to just visit until John came home with his money.
    The baby was asleep in her pram as I let myself in, this probably sounds silly but I went upstairs and lay on my old bed and pretended I belonged there, even stranger I went into Mams room and smelt her clothes and broke down crying.


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    What a mess I'd made of my life and still only twenty. I went back home.

    The key went in the door and I could hear him fall into the hall, he had spent most of our money.
    The worst Christmas ever, couldn't wait for Mam to come home to feel loved and safe.

    I was going to be 21 in the January, and the month that changed my life

    To be continued... Part 3

  2. #2
    Senior Member Marty1's Avatar
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    I hope the next piece will have some good news lesley !

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    Senior Member lesley1's Avatar
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    The bad times I had, makes me feel so grateful with what I have now.

    Thanks

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    Senior Member Marty1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lesley1 View Post
    The bad times I had, makes me feel so grateful with what I have now.
    I'm sure they must, I could never understand how some men can treat their wives that way !

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    Diane Louise Diane Louise's Avatar
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    Lesley I think you are very brave telling us your story!

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    Senior Member lesley1's Avatar
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    Hi DL, what happened next, has given me nightmares and although it took place along time ago, I was having flashbacks,
    I was never given help to get over it. My Doctor said to talk about it and it not keep it inside.
    To day it is called Post Traumatic Stress.

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    Senior Member wsteve55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marty1 View Post
    I'm sure they must, I could never understand how some men can treat their wives that way !
    I agree,but I also remember that type of behaviour wasn't that unusual,for some!?

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    Senior Member Maureen's Avatar
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    Lesley I am so upset for you to end up like that at 20 years old,or any age for that matter, as wsteve said it was'nt unusual behaviour in those days, I remember my dad coming home one night and he brought a young woman in with him,she had a baby in her arms, and had obviously been crying,he found her huddled in a doorway and when he asked her what was wrong she said her husband had beaten her. My mum and I set to making her a cuppa and something to eat, she stayed at our house that night and the following day she went to the police station,I don't know what happened then because I went to school and it was never mentioned again but I have never forgot it. I hope that the month of January was the turning point for your life, I want you to be happy.

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    Keeping It Real !!!!!!!!! ItsaZappathing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marty1 View Post
    I hope the next piece will have some good news lesley !
    Yep, sure could do with some.

    Very good Lesley.

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    Senior Member brian daley's Avatar
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    Is there something in the male genes that makes a lot of men so mysoginistic? My dad was not as bad as some men but he was bad enough,his ale money and clothing money was more important than housekeeping money. There were one or two women in our square who often had black eyes,Friday and Saturday nights were when most wife beatings took place. It was commonplace yet never spoken of;sometimes I used to be ashamed of my sex,why could we be such b******s? Is it any better now for our grandchildrens generation? Keep going Lesley, I am curious to know how you coped,
    BrianD

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    Senior Member chasevans's Avatar
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    Well said, Brian. I often think of my dad's bursts of violence as linked to drink. Lesley's story has many echoes for some of us.
    Chas

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    Senior Member kevin's Avatar
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    No matter how many times I've seen drink lead to violence, I just can't understand it. The drunker I get the sillier I get! Some blame their bad behaviour on alcohol, but I reckon it just relaxes their inhibitions and their true nature comes out.
    Keep it up, Lesley - I feel a bit of a voyeur hearing of the miserable time you went through, but I hope it is a cathartic experience for you.

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    Diane Louise Diane Louise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lesley1 View Post
    Hi DL, what happened next, has given me nightmares and although it took place along time ago, I was having flashbacks,
    I was never given help to get over it. My Doctor said to talk about it and it not keep it inside.
    To day it is called Post Traumatic Stress.
    The stress and the sadness that you have endured has been terrible and even now many women still suffer like you. Drink and selfishness have much to do with it!

    May I say how lovely you look and so happy in your avatar!

  14. #14
    Senior Member lesley1's Avatar
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    Thank you so much DL and everybody for your kind words

    I need to get some courage to tell the next part.

    My Mams words have come back to me... My girl always remember you come from a family of strong women and God always fits the burden to the back, less stronger people may have gone under..

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