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Thread: Holt's Field, Liverpool, 1950

  1. #1
    Senior Member ChrisGeorge's Avatar
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    Default Holt's Field, Liverpool, 1950

    Holt's Field, Liverpool, 1950

    My father is holding bonnie blond me at arm's length
    on his bony knee; the trees of Sudley burgeon beyond
    the shine of his Brilliantined hair; behind me,
    the tower of Mossley Hill church looms; I look
    at the lens puzzled or crying. I reach out
    to my mother, who holds the box camera; the grass
    needs a mow. My father's iron grip holds my wrist.

    Christopher T. George

    Not a great reproduction of the B&W picture, my digital copying skills lacking, but you can see this photograph at http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne...7106004&size=l


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    Chris, I've just added you to my Flickr contacts Good stuff mate
    YO! Liverpool has taken me 10 years to develop and maintain.
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    Senior Member ChrisGeorge's Avatar
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    Thanks, Kev.

    Chris
    Christopher T. George
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    Senior Member ChrisGeorge's Avatar
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    Here's a revision of the same poem:

    Holt's Field, Liverpool, 1950

    Daddy balances bonnie blond me at arm's length
    on his bony knee; uphill, the trees of Sudley burgeon

    beyond the shine of his Brilliantined hair; he's an ex-
    sailor, a demobbed RAF physio. Behind my blurred

    face looms the tower of Mossley Hill church.
    Confused and crying, I reach out

    to Mummy, who points the box camera; the grass
    needs a mow. My father's iron grip holds my wrist.

    Christopher T. George
    Christopher T. George
    Editor, Ripperologist
    Editor, Loch Raven Review
    http://christophertgeorge.blogspot.com/
    Chris on Flickr and on MySpace

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    Senior Member Jericho's Avatar
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    I prefer the first version.

    'Daddy' and 'Mummy' don't scan for me, just a touch too much of the syrup spoon.

    For me these terms detract from the ambivalence of our first relationships. Arm's length, confused and crying, iron grip.

    Too much info about 'daddy' in the second? (Ideal, however, for family and friends who may need to know that he was a physiotherapist). Like the shine of his Brilliantined hair in both.

    Smell?

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    Senior Member ChrisGeorge's Avatar
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    Hi Jericho

    Thanks for your thoughtful comments. A version between the two may be needed.

    Chris
    Christopher T. George
    Editor, Ripperologist
    Editor, Loch Raven Review
    http://christophertgeorge.blogspot.com/
    Chris on Flickr and on MySpace

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