Originally Posted by
knowhowe
Yes, great stuff mate. Enjoyed it greatly and wanted to read more...
Unlike Chris, I didn't mind the interactions between man and woman- running his hand through his wife's hair was a nice touch and early on sets Joe up as a 'decent bloke'...
I felt there was a bit too much padding though... "a strong muscular man" etc..
The food adulteration bit was interesting but too long. KISS is the golden rule of gripping fiction (and much else)- "Keep It Simple Stupid"... haha- your yarn's got a long way to go yet and you don't want to wear your reader out with excessive detail.
Get the whole book sketched up in very basic form- the skeleton upon which the muscles and flesh will later hang. The details will come later. Get the characters nailed down- you've done a good job with Joe; we feel like we know him already. Keep it coming!
All very inspiring though, almost makes me want to blow the dust off some of my unfinished yarns!
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