Been on the Scotch again? As James May said on the telly last week:Originally Posted by brian daley
"Scotch is responsible for ruining Rabbie Burns' spelling and making Scotsmen think they look good in skirts".
Made me laugh anyway!
Been on the Scotch again? As James May said on the telly last week:
"Scotch is responsible for ruining Rabbie Burns' spelling and making Scotsmen think they look good in skirts".
Made me laugh anyway!
I think he`s been on the Aspinall`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery Brown Ale.
Can we get back to the twelve year old single blend mud!
8
03.07.1898
I have had so little time to attend to my recording of the travails of the Brethren of late; no sooner had we neared the Scillies than a great storm blew out of the North East . It added near a week to our passage and brought back dreadful memories of our outward journey ,but we are in the Irish Sea now ,heading for Liverpool Bay. I am minded of the tales my father told me as a child of when he would be making the same passage home. He told of the excitement that seizes hold of a crew as they near their native port. Our crew is in such a state of excitement now, all thoughts of South America lie far behind us as we crest the waves, homeward bound.
I go home with mixed feelings, the journey I set out upon was never completed, we failed to fulfil our contract with our Chilean associates, great damage was caused to our Mudskipper by the storm that took us off the coast of Brazil and ,worst of all, we lost young John Seddon to that cold dark ocean..
The other side of the coin is that we have made new contacts in the Argentine, we have a cargo of the finest raw cowhides and we should show great profit from this venture.
In two days time we should be safely berthed in Garstons new enclosed dock, I will be back in the bosom of my family and mayhap learn on what new ventures I will embark when my the time is due.
I have some small free time and will endeavour to record some more of the Brethrens history.
When our Brothers returned from Prague, our Brother who was of the Illuminati .made haste to see his Grand master to impart him the intelligence he had learned of the means of activating the Golem. His fellow travellers were ignorance of all that had passed in Bohemia and so the secret was safe within the Illuminatis breast. Many years would pass before we heard of the Golem and it stood peacefully below the stonework in our great cathedral..
As the Royal houses succeeded one another and the Stuarts occupied the throne of the twin kingdoms of England and Scotland, religious fervour started to sweep the country at large, we in Garston escaped the worst excesses of this fervour. The Brethren sought to accommodate the changes by a seeming acceptance of change yet remained steadfast to their creed. They were well versed in the art of lip service.
Their secrets were many , some arcane ,gleaned from ancient scriptures ,and some contemporary, learned from the latest thinkers of the day.
What was undeniable was our Society had discovered a secret so world shaking and terrible that it could not be divulged but to the innermost few.
As with most discoveries ,it was found when looking for something else.Our apothecaries were searching to enlarge upon their knowledge of the medicinal
properties of the Mud which they were now dredging from the shore near Hale. This was exceedingly different from that which was dredged from Oglet or Garston shore. Its texture and composition was much finer and it had a distinctive odour ,to the tongue it had a chalybeate taste.
Why should this be so different, whence did it emanate and what good was it?
It was not good for brick making ,it did not have immediate curative properties,it was benign in that there were no harmful effects and ,indeed it could be ingested without any discernable effects, good or ill.
As with all our empiricists ,their work took many decades to draw conclusions ,we had men enough to spare for such diversions and the full weight of our society was given without stint.
There was never a Eureka moment when the discovery was made manifest, instead the moment was kept quiet ,as quiet as the grave!
What our apothecaries had discovered was that regular ingestion of this mud was holding back the senescence that accompanies age. Whilst our empiricists were indulging their efforts in experimentation throughout the decades of testing ,it was noted that they had never aged a moment ,yet their Brethren in employ on other ventures aged as nature intended. Their cloistered seclusion prevented knowledge of this boon from entering the public domain and our Illuminate had another lever with which to exercise the control of their, so called ,rulers.
Crowned heads throughout Europe learned of this amazing elixir and craved some for themselves,Emirs and Caliphs begged and entreated to learn how they could acquire the prolongation of their mortal existence.
The secret was to remain secret within the vastness of our Societys? citadel.
In the main, life for the Mudmen went on as usual ,only the Illuminati were given this elixir , thus they could rule and govern our order blessed with the wisdom of their years without suffering the deleterious effects of aging.
In the meanwhile ,we had a new monarch on the throne ,James the first of England who was also the sixth king of that name in the twin kingdom of Scotland.
Now that we were a so called United Kingdom ,our Gracious majesty sought to expand his Kingdom in places where others had failed. The first and foremost of his intentions was to do that which all the preceding crowned heads of the English Kingdom had failed to do so far. The subjugation of Ireland.
Since the Pope had granted the English domain over Hibernia in the 12th century, and so extend the writ of the Holy Roman Empire to Erin, no English monarch had managed to go beyond the Pale,that narrow strip of land that stretched down from south of Ulster to the reaches of Wexford.
King James would take the lands in the North and dispossess the barefoot Princes ,thus sowing a crop of dragons teeth that would be reaped as a harvest of spears.
Liverpool was one of the places of embarkation for this great military expedition,wisely ,the Mudmen eschewed any part of this undertaking and the religious bitterness which ensued in the northern parts of our land missed visiting our little township. We were left unmolested to pursue our rise to being a major maritime port on a par with Bristol. The New World was beckoning and our Brethren were ready to exploit the opportunities that lay across the great Ocean.
How we fared will be revealed when I next have time to gasp my pen again , the sun is glinting off the spire of St Nicholas church and I must away to make ready for passage into safe harbour.
Forever Young.
Did Paddy get in touch or did he meet his fate in some foriegn and hostile land far from home? Surely the lure of the sirens would not have detered him from the possibilty of obtaining eternal youth by dinking from the bottle had he heard? Or did he wile away lonely hours in a mud hut looking out at the ocean thinking of home and the gaity of oglet shore as the sunsets behind the welsh mud mounds of Snowdonia.?
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
Dylan Thomas
Mr Brewer opened tentative negotiations with the contractors that the Presidente had arranged to see him. I was despatched to find our Captain, because without him the negotiations could come to naught.
As I searched, I found a trail of mayhem that he had left in his wake, music halls trashed and bars that would never do business again. The Marineros were hot on his tail and Don Lorenzo ,the keeper of the Calabozo was seeking him to have him as a prized inmate. Old Rocko Fairley told me that our Captain had a fearsome reputation in these parts, not for nothing was he known to the denizens of La Boca as El Alehouse.
Mr Fairley espied our Captains somnolent form laying on the steps of the Sailors Home ,he was attempting to go back to his roots mayhap. With assistance of some brawny capatazes ,we were able to smuggle our captains comatose body back on board. These capatazes were hard men, of Welsh.extraction ,they manned the sheep stations on the Patagonian Pampas ,but could talk the sailor talk as many were deserters from the sailing ships before settling with their southern kin. We may have need of their services if we lose any more of our crew.
11.05.1898
It took near twenty four hours to bring our Captain back to sobriety, many cups of rich black Brazilian coffee were poured down his throat before he was compos mentis enow to assimilate the information
As I sit here in my ruin of a hovel, writing my Memoirs in the light of a flickering candle, that is flickering due to the cold drafts whistling through my room, my arthritic fingers clutching my pen, I try to recollect some of my adventures that I experienced during my sea time as a Master Mariner on the Mud Boats out of Gerston those many years ago.
I recalled the voyage that Mr Twize Daley wrote in his journal, shewn above, about our stay in that den of iniquity and cesspit of a Port, Buenos Aires, on that hostile coast of Argentina whilst we discharged our valuable cargo of Gerston Mud.
I went ashore to meet the Agent, I was told he was in the street known as the Calle Vienti Cinco de Mayo, drinking in his favourite tavern, the Texas Bar.
On meeting him, we conducted our business, then he introduced me to a lovely young Senorita by the name of Cleopatra, She had just sung a song about the Love of a Senorita and her Gaucho Hombre. They were on the Pampas in the light of a full moon, singing a song of love and when she hit the high notes, it set off a stampede and they were both trampled to death by the hooves of a thousand Bovines. A very sad song sang with such passion that she had every one in the Texas Bar weeping into their drinks. There was not a dry eye in the house.
I had another drink with my new found Senorita, Cleopatra, then we danced. The band played a Tango, we were made for each other, our bodies swayed with the music and she was fantastico, as our bodies entwined it sent electric shocks through my body. Then we danced La Bomba, another incredible dance with her shaking all over me. I was in ecstasy. What a wonderful woman the Agent had fixed up for me.
She nibbled on my ear and asked me to escort her to her home. I was swooning with desire for her. We walked hand in hand down the Calle across the wide Avenida, past the Pink Palace and then down a small alley then up some steps and we were into her apartmento.
She poured me a drink of Anis and we sat on her sofa, we kissed passionately, ?Mia Querida? , I whispered in her shell like ear, ?Yo en mucho amor para usted en mia corazon mia querida? and then she said ?Come, passa en mia boudoir, mia querida?. I followed her into her boudoir and we slowly divested ourselves of our garments as she sang the song again about the Senorita and the Gaucho, She was beautiful with skin like alabasta and small breasts, as she removed her pantaloons, SHOCK, HORROR, she had a bigger wedding tackle than me. In a panic I ran out of her apartmento down the steps and around the corner by the Pink Palace. I was only wearing my under garments. The Marineros and the Vigilantes on guard by the Palace shouted `Halta, mucho loco Inglezi Marinero`. I ran past them and ran down the Avenida towards the La Boca, they were chasing me with their sabres drawn, but with my panic I soon outran them. I did not want to end up in Senor Don Lorenzo`s callabozo. In the far distance I could see the Sailors Home, or the Casa de Marineros. My lungs were bursting as I ran, I was gasping for breath as I reached the steps of the Casa Marinero. Then I collapsed half way up them and then it all went dark and I was unconscious.
I believe I was found by my old shipmate, Mr Fairley, who with some `capatazes` who assisted him, they carried me back on board. Pasa el barco.
I was in a state of severe shock from my experience the night before. I was shaking and trembling all over. The rest of the crew thought I was suffering from the dreaded delirium tremens due to a surfeit of Anis. But I can assure the reader that I was not.
My hands are trembling with the cold and there is a film of ice on the surface of my ink pot, so I will have to end my story here and try to get some warmth in them from the candle.
After 42 years of service with the Gerston Mud Company they didnt pay a pension at the end, I was used up and put ashore at the end of my useful service, while the members of the Illuminata lived a life of luxery.
I still curse that Oliver Cromwell for destroying my family Home at Aspin Hall two centuries ago, forcing us to live a life of a Seafarer instead of a Gentleman.
Adios mi amigos.
Captain Aspinale de Kong.
Last edited by captain kong; 01-22-2009 at 11:57 AM.
:
"Mucho Bueno Capitano Aspinale de Kongo",- you tell it exactly as it was !!
Roberto de Fairley
Shock
It must have been Harrowing for you Kong, those Argies can be tricky.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
Dylan Thomas
Can't quite make out the picture. Is it a tatoo on a private part of your anatomy. Could you post a picture of the enlarged version please?
Hi Kev,
It is a label on a bottle of Aspinall`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery, titled
James Stanley`s `REVENGE`. Brewed by my brother John, Master Brewer and also Master Mariner.
A special brew to commemerate the execution of James Stanley, the 7th Earl of Derby, 15 October 1651 outside the pub, `Ye Olde Man and Scythe` in Bolton. The pub was built in 1251 and modernised in 1636, it is still a thriving pub today, I am a frequent customer.
The label has the Coat of Arms of the Stanley family and shows the Scaffold and the execution by beheading of the said James Stanley. A memorial now stands on the site of the excution.
Click on the Thumb Nail it is easy to see.
also click on this one and see the "Ye Olde Man and Scythe" pub today
The plaque on the front shows the details of ye execution. Zoom in and you can read it.
Last edited by captain kong; 01-22-2009 at 08:53 PM.
Ahh, such a story kong, such command of the written word, such eloquence, etc. ( I shall use the same grovelling words at the end of Bryan D's great saga )
I felt a kinship when reading those final paragraphs, having, I believe, met the same 'Cleopatra' that you speak of in your narrative, though at the time she was working her passage ( ! ) as a bedroom steward on the Brasil Star. I too was decieved by those dark flashing latin eyes, and it was'nt until the journey home during a particularly drunken bout in the chief Engineers cabin three days out of Rio, that her true gender was revealed. I, like your good self, failed to take notice of little give away signs like her waxed and luxuriant Gaucho style moustache, and an Adams apple the size of a honeydew melon! they say love is blind, how true. Luckily, I made it back to the comparrative safety of my own cabin before things reached a state of high embarresment. Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.
Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.
That is NO excuse Jeff ,my excuse is that I was under the influence of the ANISE
Last edited by captain kong; 01-22-2009 at 08:57 PM.
cong, you are a cruel and insensitive man, could there be no leeway in that cold heart, I had a sheltered up bringing which kept me in great naivity up until the age of thirty one.
I hasten to add that I too was under the influence of the same vicious brew, at least you had great age on your side.
Last edited by Jeff Glasser; 01-22-2009 at 09:03 PM.
I had a sheltered up bringing which kept me in great naivity up until the age of thirty two.
and then it happened.
cong you were too fast, I was editing my post there, but I concede defeat, your's is the stronger pen.
I shall now retire to my corner of the cellar for a much needed rest.
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