The Tart Behind the Bar

[miguel]

THE LIVERPOOL BARMAID

Legend always has it and the truth will bear me out;
That men will go to any lengths to sup a pint of stout.
To slake their thirst on Pedigree, on Cains or Flowers beer:
No stormy night or doting wife will keep them from such cheer.

A sentiment I do applaud so when the clock says 'ready!'
I park my pen, no slowcoach when the big hand points to 'steady!'
It's time to..........GO! I check my dough; I have to be pedantic.
I have in mind a pint or two, but in the pub Atlantic.

I pass a score of empty pubs where taps are still and dry;
The beers the same but not the dame, and there the reasons lie.
I must confess I care not less for banjo or guitar;
But when I'm free I want to see the tart behind the bar.

In micro-skirt with waspish waist, a busty little looker;
A vixen sharp and witty and she dresses like a hooker.
Those gorgeous eyes, her super thighs; a pin-up of a beauty;
We long to have a pint pulled by this buxom little cutie.

Back or front or sideways on; Oh, what a little groover.
She'll stoop and turn....... and what a stern! A lovely little mover.
When I'm abroad I pray the Lord who sets my feet afar:
Return me to a girl like her; the tart behind the bar.

If Fate should see me shipwrecked and upon an island cast.
Hallucinating wildly as through thirst I breathe my last.
A vision through the swirling mist would beckon 'neath my star.
My soul set free to let me see, the tart behind the bar.

Quite a popular one. A real barmaid - and NOT a tart at all. Best wishes Janet at The atantic wherever you are

[naked lilac]

Now that says it all.. I am sure if Janet reads it.. she will be impressed by your thoughts... and good thoughts...

The truth to this too, is :Who the Heck wants to be served by some mean old sour~ puss of a barman...? Your bar would surely go downhill... and thusly, well.. its all relevant .. now isn't it mate....

[miguel]

Thanks honey. As the saying goes in sales: "People don't buy services, they buy people.' When there's hot competition around the last thing you need is some half-hearted twit discouraging customers.

[naked lilac]

Absolutely right Miquel.. sounds like you like to dine out?You sound like a good business man.. Service in any form of business is extremely important.. The key to success..

[miguel]

Well there's dining out and dining out, Lilac. Yes, love nice surroundings, staff who know their job and can have a laugh, nice people . . . great atmosphere.
But last week one of my two sons' came to see me and he just isn't comfortable in bistros, wine bars, or the nicer restaurants. He was adamant so it was a case of starve or go with the flow.
No names, no pack drill . . . wouldn't be fair but he was in his second heaven in a chrome and plastic 'McDonalds for 'adults'.
We were surrounded by guffawing oafs (I am laughing here by the way), the language was choice; there's no way you would take your kids (or a visitor) there; television monitors on every wall; sport: any sport will do. The staff were indifferent, the food as you might expect for a human battery farm. Everything about the place screamed cheap, cheap, cheap. Like I say he loved it and couldn't figure out why it wasn't to my taste.

[Steven]

Originally Posted by naked lilac

Absolutely right Miquel.. sounds like you like to dine out?You sound like a good business man.. Service in any form of business is extremely important.. The key to success..

Don't waste time hun. lol Get right in there