View Full Version : The Mudmen Code,a potty history of Garston

brian daley
01-11-2009, 09:27 PM
The Mudman Code

Dear reader I must ask you to suspend your disbelief as I relate my tale of times past when the world was a simpler place and Garston was on the verge of greatness.

Our story begins in the New Hayes Hospital for the Terminally Bewildered,
I was working there temporarily, filling in time before I was due to emigrate to Birmingham,my visa had been lost in the post and I had had to make another application. However that is another story.;it was just after midnight when old Mr Keegan was brought in, he was in a very muddled state,his face a mixture of fear and anticipation . As he was wheeled to his room I noticed that his possessions consisted one old burlap sack ,a Tupperware box and very little else. I was given the task of cleaning him and getting into bed, all the while he clutched the burlap sack to his chest ,afraid that it might get stolen or lost.
I got him some cocoa ,in which there was a sleeping draught ,and sat with him while he relaxed and gave himself up to a much needed sleep. There was very little information about him in the paperwork, apparently he had been a local character who slept in doorways and any other place that might offer him shelter from the elements, he relied on the good nature of the shopkeepers who used to let him have spoiled fruit and out of date pies and sandwiches to sustain.him.
He could be found bathing himself down Garston shore but most of his time was spent in the reference section at the local library.
He never engaged anyone in conversation ,but those who were in earshot could often hear him muttering , ?That bloody nun.. if only?.? He was never found to be without his plastic box or burlap sack, and now, here he was beside me,gently snoring ,the sack freed from the grip of his sleep loosened hand.
What did that burlap enfold? My curiosity got the better of me and I leaned over and gently lifted the sack away from him; it was heavy. I struggled to undo the string that held it closed, the knots were expertly tied, was he a sailor perhaps..
Opening the sack I saw a small brass bound box, beautifully made, it was Sapele mahogany with brass corners and an escutcheon on the top which bore the legend ?Presented to Bro. K.Keegan Esq, Mode Humanus, from the Grateful People of Garston ,in the year of Grace MCMX1? 1911, it was now 1999,how old was this man, and what did the box contain?
It was held closed by a wonderfully fashioned padlock, finished in silver plate.
I had?nt yet taken his old clothes down to the incinerator and quickly rummaged through his pockets in search of the key. It seemed to take an age to find ,there was so much rubbish and bits of crumpled paper in every pocket , I eventually found it secreted in his lapel, he had obviously sewn it there many years before. But why all the secrecy, could the contents of the box answer that question?

01-11-2009, 09:50 PM
The tension is mounting.:ninja:

naked lilac
01-12-2009, 07:04 AM
Got my curiousity also.. awaiting ????:002:

01-12-2009, 09:02 AM
Hurry up Brian, the intrigue is killing me!

brian daley
01-12-2009, 04:40 PM

My hands were shaking when I opened the box, it was filled with sheafs of paper, brown with age and charred at the edges .Apart from a couple of medals and seeming religious medallions there was naught else in the box.
I carefully unfolded the sheaf of paper and could see that there were pages and pages filled with the meticulous copperplate script ,minute in size but clearly discernable.
I returned to my room to fetch my reading glasses ,sandwiches ,flask and smoking materials; this promised to a long read.
Settling myself down in the chair by my charges bed ,I unfolded the pages and began to read???

????This is the journal of Kerrigan J.Keegan 1898

I was taken on the barquentine ?Mudskipper? as third mate, being my fathers ship ,I would be trained on the job rather than be sent to a sea training school,father maintained that officers trained in this manner had a greater understanding of the sea .I think he did it to save money.
We were carrying the usual cargo of Garston mud to Chile ,a journey that our vessels had been making since the Spanish first settled South America.
The Spaniards ,as the Romans before them (and some said the ancient Greeks too) used the fabulous mud in their brickmaking. Our company had many ships plying this trade and Garston had become a wealthy little town. It had been trading non stop since the Romans occupied Britain in the first century of the Christian Era. When they came to the north of the country they settled in Chester from where they sent surveyors to the surrounding territories, sailing down the river ,now called the Mersey ,they found the natives on the northern shore by the hamlet of Oglet to be of a friendly disposition and noted ,that unlike the neighbouring tribes ,the Oglet tribe lived in brick houses. Brick of a wondrous kind, it was smooth and hardy ,light and durable. When the surveyors enquired whence the bricks originated the natives pointed to a little settlement further downriver, a place they called Gar Stone, the place of brick.
Those ancient surveyors made their way along the shore towards the rising spirals of smoke where they found a clearing close to the shore. In it were some crude kilns around which were stacks of newly made brick. They had never seen such handiwork ,whereas these Latins were masters of stone and marble, these men of Gar Stone were surely brickmakers of the first order.
It was not long before the Gar Stonians became aware of the Romans presence and they surrounded them , never having seen such finely dressed people before.
Soon an older man appeared and he was brought to the Romans ,who could see that he was the chief. Putting his arms across his chest ,he half bowed before them and said ?I am Kee Ghan ,the leader of these peoples, what is the nature of your visit to us? The Romans replied that they were looking for places that could offer good trading conditions that would help consolidate the relations between them and the natives. The old chief then asked if what they saw pleased them and they replied that they were mightily pleased ,the Gar Stone bricks would be ideal for building homes for the Roman Empire.
A great feast was held in honour of the illustrious visitors to commence the beginning of a trading relationship that has lasted near two thousand years.
My family grew rich and so did our people, we might have been richer but when the Roman Empire collapsed so did the need for our bricks. The Goths , Picts ,Jutes ,Vikings ,Saxons and Angled despised our handiwork and used daub and wattle or wood and straw. The Druids banned our brickmaking on pain of death and drove us underground ,literally. And thus was born the secret society which carried on the arcane ways, the Brotherhood of Mudmen.
They met only on night of the full moon so that no lamps were required to carry out their rituals, These brave men , prevented from creating the bricks that had brought them wealth ,then devised a plan that would help restore the fortunes of their beloved town . They would make the bricks elsewhere. With the coming of the Christian missionaries from the new kingdom of Rome ,they were able to rekindle the contacts that they had had with their ancient trading partners. A monastery was settled on the shores of the river and ,on the Abbots own vessels ,some of the Brethren of the Order of Mudmen were despatched abroad to Rome and Constantinople to set up brickworks. What those brickworks needed was mud ,the mud of Gar Stone. And so commenced a new golden age, as paganism and vandalism passed into history, the New Holy Roman Empire came into being ,and the churches it built were made of brick ,brick that was made from the finest mud available. The mud of Garston. Note its name ,one word not two.
The Brotherhood prospered and created new orders , the Illuminati, an ultra secret order that brought together the greatest thinkers of the day, the head of the order was always a member of the oldest of Garstons families, the Keegans.
Now in charge of shipping the Mud ,they never brought their vessels back empty but brought back silks and carpets ,sandalwood and ebony and all those other exotic spices .Ships of every nation lay at anchor waiting to discharge their treasures before they went away laden with the greater treasure, Garston mud!
As these ships sailed out toward the Irish sea ,they had to pass that other settlement near the rivermouth ,Larpool, a place that was feared by most mariners for there lived the villainous Scousers, a race of pirates who were not above luring the incoming vessels with false beacons which caused them to be stranded on the hostile shore. Thus many Liverpudlian families became enriched by such nefarious deeds Ship captains knew well enough to stay midriver to avoid that noisome place. The natives were so uncultured.

01-12-2009, 04:55 PM
I was talking to a bloke in the Blue Union a few years back and he said ?What have the Romans ever done for us?? Well all in all Brian as they say blood is thicker than mud. I knew an Irish chieftain called Keegan he sold his wife to a Welsh landowner who had a fair few acres under Snowdon in the days before the National Trust took the land. His descendants run wind farms and mine for yellow chalk, a lucrative trade as it goes?.

01-12-2009, 05:34 PM
And there's more?

captain kong
01-12-2009, 06:03 PM
Larpool hasnt changed much has it.

Jeff Glasser
01-12-2009, 07:51 PM
Come on Brian, I need a wee, but I:shock: do'nt want to miss anything!

brian daley
01-12-2009, 08:22 PM
The Journal of Kerrigan J. Keegan cont?.

Down through the ages my family ,and with it ,the Brotherhood and the town of Garston ,prospered. Our attachment to the church of Rome seemed indissoluble ,but the Brethren worked secretly with new church in Byzantium ,and with the empires to the East, we had to act covertly lest the Holy See were to take umbrage with our duplicity. Our Masters had seen what had happened to the Cathars and the Gnostics, they would not let that fate befall them.
Our Brethren who had settled in Byzantium became as natives, as did our Brethren in Persia and far off Hindustan. Only members of our family were initiated into the order and our family was large .
Correspondence between the Orders was made through a skilfully contrived code known only to the Illuminati in each country and this was perfected to such a standard that it remained unbroken down all the centuries. The secret of our success was our apparent openness, we seemed to be mere traders ,no suspicion ever arose regarding our activities ,our profits were so widely dispersed that no ruler was ever aware that we were gently seeding our wealth and putting it to great use..
It was in the reign of King John that we laid the first stones of the Great Cathedral to Our Lady Mary the Mother of God. This was sited in the fields that lay beyond the waterfront as you came up the Street of Kings. A ceremonial arch was raised to lead the faithful into the great Square that lay beyond it. This arch was bedecked with flowers and bunting on holy days or when we had visiting nobility. They would progress up from the portway and walk through a bower of fragrant flowers which were waved aloft by dancing virgins. Those were colourful days and they are depicted in the splendid murals that can now be seen in the great Museum and Art Gallery that we built in the Street Of St. James.
When King John passed through our town he invested ,unknowingly , the then Grand Master of the Mudmen into one of the Royal Orders, he became The Noble Watcher of the Majestic Bowel. The Grand Master was diligent in his duty for it was a fact that his sovereign majesty did indeed suffer mightily with his bowels, and his flatulence once near caused a war with our French neighbours. This ailment of the King was fortuitous for the Brotherhood for it caused them to discover something that would both lead to a resolving of the Kings Terrible Problem and the further enrichment of the Order. That something was the healing properties that were a constituent of the Mud. How it came to be discovered will be explained in good time for I am afraid the sea is getting up, I can hear the officer of the watch calling and must go and see what assistance I can render.
12-04 1898

Jeff Glasser
01-12-2009, 08:38 PM
Brian, I can't hold it any longer!

brian daley
01-13-2009, 02:43 PM
18.04 1898
Those rising seas were the precursor of a storm ,the like of which our Captain later said ,was the worst in all his 40 years at sea. So great was the wind that the mainsail was rent across before we could send men enough aloft to reef them. We toiled for three days and nights to make her safe ,the hands were hollow eyed wrecks by the eve of the third day. The lord was good to us for the winds abated and gave us enough calm to make for the Isle of Fernando de Noronha, a lonely place to the east of Recife in Brazil. Luckily the Captain had been there as a 2nd mate many years before and knew it well enough to navigate us safely through the shoals into the Baia de Sancho. We think it should be called Safe Haven for it is well sheltered from the elements and thus give us the opportunity to effect the damage wrought upon us by hurricane.
The carpenter and shipwright are at work as I pen these words and I should have time enough to continue my tale.

When the master Masons constructed the cathedral in the town of Garston , they were in the employ of the Brethren, but these Brethren were entrenched within the Roman Church and our then Grand Master was the ruling Bishop of that See.
The masons , being members of another friendly order , were sworn to secrecy as to the full design of church, for as well as the main crypt below ground ,two further chambers were constructed, and constructed in a manner that there concealment was never discovered . The chambers were for the Brethren and it was there that they performed their rituals, and it was there also that they met in conclave to guide the fortunes of the now growing Brotherhood. New side orders were created to allow the induction of men who were not of Garston bloodline but who would prove beneficial to the order through expanding their knowledge of astronomy , biology , botany and medicine . It was through the experiments of one such Brother that the remedy for King Johns Terrible Problem was found. Prior to his arrival at St Egberts monastery (all non blood Brethren were inducted as monks) the mud had been transported in wooden tubs . This was a tedious task, such was the amount timber required for their manufacture that the newly formed Woodcutters Society was hard put to meet the demand and the Great Wood of Garston was being denuded of many tree.
Bro Waterways , being of an exploratory nature, sought to find a way out of this dilemma and set about dehydrating the mud to see if it could be powdered and thus weigh less heavy ,and also enabling it to be bagged in sacks and make for easier transportation.
He carried out his experiments in the cellars of Garston Castle , well away from the prying eyes of those who were jealous of our secrets. It was?nt many months before he had come up with a solution , and with that solution the founding of another of our fortunes!
In his experimentations , Bro. Waterways found that as the mud reached a certain temperature in the drying process a light ash would cloud off the smoke and fall in smuts about the room, some fell in his drinking horn and lay on the surface of his dinner wine. He had always thought this lightish soot a nuisance ,it required cleaning after every drying period and covered everything. Preoccupied , he reached for his wine and took a draught before he noticed the film of soot ,swallowing it down he thought that the wine was more pleasant than usual but never gave the matter much thought. However , being a man who was given to the same afflictions as the King ,he found a wonderful feeling of settlement come over his innards. Picking up his drinking horn he looked at it contents, there was a residue of soot at the bottom of it. He spent the next few weeks testing it on the men at the Queens Tavern and received reports from their wives that the nights in bed were much quieter since drinking the good Brothers sleeping draught.
He made further tests on the great Shire horses that Brothers Portus and Rhodus kept at their stables in St Marysfield . Again the reports were to the good , the dreaded Shire flatulence was no more.
Having assured himself of the medicinal effects Brother Waterways then took the remedy to his Master ,The Grand Brother Keegan ,the Noble Watcher of the Majestic Bowel. A carriage was prepared and the G.B was hastened to the Hamlet of Nottingham where the King was enjoying a shooting holiday ,the targets being the local bandit peasantry.
The King was administered his remedy just before he retired to his bed ;that night all Nottingham was silent , not a poot or a parp was heard .The Royal bowel was granted peace at last and the township of Garston was granted Royal Patronage..
A university was to be established ,one that would teach the liberal arts and sciences, this would be the jewel of English academia and would produce many great philosophers, artists ,musicians ,writers and others. Europe would send the cream of its students to benefit their further education .

Many years of peaceful progress followed , the Brethren managed to avoid any involvement in the sordid battles between the religions.The Crusades had destroyed the fortunes of many of Europes great families, the various orders that were formed to assist in the success of the Crusades were enjoying different kinds of success. The Order of the Poor Knights of Jerusalem , the Templars ,were enjoying a spectacular success after the First Crusade. From being a collection of Indigent Knights tasked with protecting the Temple at Jerusalem, within a few short decades they became rich beyond the dreams of avarice.
They set up a banking system that spanned the Holy Roman Empire, all transport, whether by land or sea , handled by the Templars, all ,that is,
excepting the Brotherhood of Mudmens. Being an older order and having greater business skills , we had placed some of our Brethren in all of the new orders as a contingency to protect from any actions that these orders might take that would be harmful to our aims. And such actions saved us heavy losses when the Pope and the King of France later eliminated the Templar Order.
Our Brethren had the ear of many monarchs and prelates and , more importantly ,the Pope ,the well placed agents got wind of the planned destruction and were able to get word to the Templar bastion at La Rochelle. Thirteen Templar vessels escaped the clutches of the French soldiery, five sailed to Portugal and were granted sanctuary by the Portugese king. Some went to Scotland under the command of Frederico Kinghornia , what nobody knew ,until now dear reader, is that one sailed to Garston under the command of Aspinale de Kong ,And thus would open a new chapter in the fortunes of the Mudmen.

8 bells are sounding so I must away to my duties,the midshipman reported that the shipwright thinks our damage so grave that she willnot make it round the Horn. I'll lay my pen down 'til the morrow.

18.04 1898

01-13-2009, 05:31 PM
What happend to Walter Charles Cecil Rugerton who lived off Window Lane :ninja:

captain kong
01-13-2009, 05:50 PM
Yes I remember it well, the escape from the Salientia* French clutches and my victorius return to my homeland of Gastone. I later invented the first mud tanker, watered down the mud to a thin liquid and then got all hands to man the pumps for discharging. On a long voyage in the tropics this was unsuccessful as the mud dried and the pumps could not discharge.
So it had to be dug out by hand into barrels. :034:
This was to be the first of my many, many cockups.
Aspinale de Kong,

*Salientia. [see google].

Danny Farley
01-14-2009, 03:48 AM
I follow your story with grat interest in the hope of an introduction to the heir of Bro Waterways. Alas I to suffer with the same affliction as the king

I have tried the mud from the River Alt it gave me the runs for a week but no cure

brian daley
01-14-2009, 07:19 AM
Thank you for your kind comments and queries,alas the journal is somewhat tattered and our narrator is struggling back there ,but give him time; like you ,I have no idea where all this is going to end,

brian daley
01-14-2009, 11:15 AM
22.04 1898
The prognostication of our midshipman has turned out to be correct,the damage is far too great to effect an attempt around the Horn so our Captain
has decided to head for a ship repair yard at La Boca in Buenos Aires.
How long we will be there is anyone?s guess.
A word about our Captain, he is a direct descendant of that same Templar shipmaster who sought refuge from the wicked Saliente, or Frogs as we say in the modern parlance. Being a foreigner and a Templar to boot, neither he ,nor his descendents were initiated into the Brotherhood. Instead he, and his crew , were allowed to carry on their Templar ways, but strictly out of sight from our churchmen and other uninitiated citizenry. No sign or emblem was allowed to be shown, as far as the Holy Roman church knew ,they were good catholic seaman who come to ply their trade on our behalf. With their navigation skills ,and their knowledge of ships and all that was involved in the course of ocean travel ,they were the greatest prize ever to land on Garstons shore.
Our fleet increased ,and so did the need for ships, and this is where our Templar friends excelled for the number of shipwrights that had come with them was sufficient for us to open our own shipyards.
Soon our vessels were seen to be the finest afloat , traders from other ports came to order their new vessels from us and our town had to expand to cope with influx of workmen needed to meet the demands.
Some villeins from Larpool sought gainful employ within our town but they were taken on only under sufferance, letters of guarantee were sought from their parish priests before they were allowed entry through the town gates. One infraction against the restrictions placed upon them and they were despatched very quickly back to their village by Brother Asbo.
As time past and trade prospered ,so did then need for men to man our ships. The Illuminati instructed the Brethren to build a School of Navigation, this would be sited at the farthest reaches of Garstons boundaries, on the shore of Grassendale, near the site of the Convent of La Sagesse, a much venerated place .Some elders thought it unwise to have so many mariners in such close proximity to so many virgins ,but the matter was soon passed over.
With the passing of the years too ,we saw our Templar friends marry into local families and to assimilate themselves into our way of life they also Anglicised their names, the de Kong brothers dropped their surname and took their ancestors forename ,altered to make it look local, Aspinall . Only one of them carried on the maritime tradition, that was the wilder one, Mad Jack Aspinall,the other brother had set up a brewhouse on the southern shore and was brewing ale from the same waters as we excavated our mud from. It was a mighty potent brew. The water was only drawn on the ebb tide for that was when it flowed fresh from the Pennine Hills. The town walls ,which had been erected in the 12th century were soon in need of relocating , such was our populace that we had to purchase land from the manors that abutted our demesne.
I am afraid that I will have to curtail my writing at this juncture ,there has been a call for my services on deck and I must ,once more lay down my pen
22.04 .1898

01-15-2009, 10:11 AM
I have a few questions.

Did they build ships at oglet?

Did larpool men ever court the women of Garston?

Did The lar Sagesse sisters fast all year round and become good at figures?

If the source of the river mercy is atop the Pennines, who was king of the peak distict?

What year was the seige of Garstonia by Larpool?

01-15-2009, 10:52 AM
Brilliant writings as always Brian. You have a talent to draw the reader into the story. :PDT11

brian daley
01-15-2009, 12:46 PM
Hey Paddy,just read the b****y and stop with the questions,this is a potty history,not an historical treatise.If you keep on you just might find yourself in it ! You have been warned..........
The Author

captain kong
01-15-2009, 02:10 PM

brian daley
01-15-2009, 04:25 PM
Fancy asking me that question Cap'n Cong,you know your great,great,great.great grandfather sailed in with the first bunch! Just read the story.
The author

Jeff Glasser
01-15-2009, 04:26 PM
Brian, I think I'm getting the gist of this great and secret tale, I do'nt suppose there's a bit in it for me?
I believe some of my local Severn mud was mixed with that which you speak of, by ne'er- do- wells intent on making a greater profit. ( continued by their descendants to this day in Bristol within the drugs trade ) with disastrous results, reversing the healing qualities which led to the great sewer explosion of old Glastonbury in 1746.

01-15-2009, 08:05 PM
This story is as clear as mud to me?

Keep it coming!

captain kong
01-15-2009, 09:05 PM
Adam de Gerston in the year 1198 was broke, his lust for wenches and the supping of much rum from the Indies left him destitute and his land containing all the Mud was sold to a Baron de Aspin, of Aspin Hall in Bolton. Baron Aspin saw the benefits of controlling the supply of Mud and allowed his brother, John de Aspin, a Master Brewer and one time Seafarer, on the Earl of Denby`s Estate, to use the Mud in his brews. It was used in brewing Brown ale, instead of using finings in the final stages of the brew. the Mud gave his brown ale the unmistakable flavour and brown colour of the Cambrinus Craft brew that was becoming famous throughout the Northern Shires.The Earl of Denby and all his heirs were all taken up with this particular brew and for the next five centuries they quaffed it daily. The present day Earl of Denby in 1642, feeling quite billious one day, was sat in his throne room musing of this and that and of many other things, when he thought Why should I be buying all this Mud for the brews off a woolly back Baron. There was a civil war on at the time so he decided that under the cover of the war he would invade Baron Aspin`s land in Bolton seize the deeds for the Garston Mud Land and then it would all be his to sell to the world and to all the Cistene Chapels and monastries around the Merside.
Under cover of darkness he rode into Bolton on a beautiful white Stallion, and settled in the Ancient alehouse known as "Ye Old Man and Scythe", built in 1128, and still open to this very day in the 21st century, still a favourite haunt of the decendants of the First Baron de Aspin.
The Earl of Denby thought he had cracked it, he was asking for directions to the Estate of Baron de Aspin, he told the assembled throng in the tap room, of the said alehouse, that he was a close friend of the Baron.
Now these simple yokels , sometimes known as woolly backs, couldnt understand his Scouse accent and thought he was one of those Salientia Frogs. He was taken outside in shackles and a scaffold was hastily built and in front of a large crowd of Woollybacks, his head was removed from his body by a single blow of an axe.
Then they all trooped back into the alehouse and celebrated by quaffing large quantities of Cambrinous Craft Brown Ale made by Baron de Aspin`s brother John de Aspin.
When news of the execution of Denby reached the ears of Baron de Aspin he was much sorrowed. He decided to give the deeds of the Mud to his brother who owned the Cambrinous Craft Brewery on Denby`s land. John de Aspin , had to make peace with the heir of the Earl of Denby, the now Earl of Denby, and gave him the deeds of the Mud Land in Garston. the Earl of Denby was much moved by this gesture and allowed John de Aspin to remain with his Cambrinous Craft Brewery on his land in Perpetuety, rent free.
Two years later after losing heavily on the horses at Aintree, Lord Denby as he was now called, was facing eviction from his land and had to sell the Deeds of the Mud back to the Baron de Aspin to save his estates.

brian daley
01-15-2009, 09:22 PM
And all you disbelievers thought this a tale of fiction! No my friends ,for I did with these very hands hold those brown and charred sheets that contain this tale of woe and lo! the names of many and various characters who people the pages of Yo! are to be found therein. My friend the author will read on but not yet anon. There are many hours to morning and we still have far to go. I see the light is still on in the room where our reader keeps his watch, be patient and wait awhile............

01-15-2009, 10:10 PM
"Yon tale gets curiouser and curiouser" as Alice said !!!

Bob F :002: :handclap:

captain kong
01-15-2009, 11:49 PM
It sure does Olly.

brian daley
01-15-2009, 11:54 PM
Would that I had the words to express the sorrow that fills my heart.I have not had the strength ,nor inclination ,to put pen to paper since last I wrote.
We were struck by a sudden squall and the repairs that we effected in the Baia de Sancho were near undone. Had it not been for the grace of God and our good Captain Aspinall, then all would have been lost. His strength and endeavour set the men to work beyond the endurance of common folk and we were made secure enough to continue our voyage to the Argentine. The damage is such that we mayhap will spend a lengthy sojourn in La Boca, this will perhaps allow me to further my story of our passage through the many years that make up the history of the Brotherhood.

The weather is calmed much these past few days and I write these words in the lee of the aftercastle by the light of my oil lamp. The gentle breeze makes the rigging sing a siren song and the hiss and sigh of waves as we glide through the wine dark sea brings comforting balm to my soul.
That squall claimed the life of our young midshipman John Seddon. Just sixteen years of age ,a true lad of Garston stock ,he would have been initiated on the eve of his twenty first year.
I look to the myriad stars above in the velvet black canopy and pray that he is amongst them ,at peace after the terrible calamity that befell him. Being a cousin of mine ,it will fall to me to relate the tale of his passing to his Mama.
I will take me away to the solitude of my bunk and rest before my watch.

We have berthed in the shipyard of La Boca ,it is nightfall and I ,and one old able seaman from Larpool , Rocko Fairley are all that remain aboard.
This is a dangerous place for Jack?Ashore ,the docks are lined three deep with merchantmen of every nation and the mean streets teem with all the scum that has been spewed ashore from the many vessels. Those lusty men who have been pent up these many months ,go rollicking and ranting , hellbent on spending their hard earned tin in the low dives that line the Calles and Avenidas.
Most of our crew will make for the Liverpool Bar,so called after the new name for old Larpool;this is a dance hall come brothel and no Brother would cross its filthy threshold. But this was a place that was much frequented by our very own Captain Aspinall,this and the other pox ridden dive The Flags of all Nations Bar.
There were many diversions to attract the carnally minded in this town and I prayed to heaven that we would leave this place with a crew unscathed .
The bars that a man can lose himself to some awful fate are many and sundry,
In the Calle Juan and the Calle Lavalle,the red light district that went by the nickname the "Streets of Blood and Tears",the men would go to sate their lusts and oft be relieved of all they possessed.
My father related to me tales of this Hell on Earth and I have no taste for such nightmares, I will keep my body and my soul together with the help of my desire to complete my journal.

02.05 1898
The morning was bright with sunshine and the air filled with sound of hammering and the clanking of chains, a concatenation of babbling voices fills my ears and I realise that work has commenced on our vessel. I am brought a steaming mug of Brazilian coffee,( a novelty after a diet of Mazawattee tea ),and refreshed enough to take stock of the morning .Mr Brewer ,the mate informs that the captain is not to be disturbed .He spent an energetic night at the German House and expended a small fortune on some ?Silent Pipers? . Heaven knows what else he was up to. Young Glasser, the captains tiger, has been taken by the Marineros and will be spending this day cleaning the stables at the police barracks.
The Ordinary Seaman Paddy has not been seen since wandering off in the company of some whalermen so god wot this day will bring.

I hope that we have some mail whilst we are hear ,it would be good to hear from young Lindy Lou , or maybe Miss Lilac. God forbid that one should find out about the other,but what else can you expect from such entanglements.
I must turn the men to their workings and myself to matters of shipwork

01.05 .1898.

01-16-2009, 09:13 AM
Adam de Gerston in the year 1198 was broke, his lust for wenches and the supping of much rum from the Indies...

I presume you mean the East Indies? Rum didn't exist in the West Indies until after Chris Columbus (from Aigburth I believe) carried sugar cane from the Canaries to Hispaniola, thereby starting off the sugar trade, then the rum trade, in the West Indies.

As sugar cane originated in Indonesia it is undoubtedly East Indian rum that Adam had a penchant for. Mind you, the fella must have gotten about a bit - rum was generally unknown in Europe until the 1200's so he must have had a secret stash!

captain kong
01-16-2009, 09:37 AM
The word Rum in 1198 came from the word scRUMpy, a typical Gerston abreviation for all long words. It was brewed from all the apple trees that abounded down the Scotland Road of Lahpool in those far off days.
A very popular beverage until the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery was opened brewing fine Brown ales made from the Gerston Mud.
The `Indies` again was an abreviation of the Owners name, The Indefatigable scRUMpy Distilery, of Walton Vale. Lahpool.

01-16-2009, 09:50 AM
The word Rum in 1198 came from the word scRUMpy, a typical Gerston abreviation for all long words. It was brewed from all the apple trees that abounded down the Scotland Road of Lahpool in those far off days.
A very popular beverage until the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery was opened brewing fine Brown ales made from the Gerston Mud.

11 out of 10 for inventiveness - I bow to the Master!

As you well know, it was the 17th Century before there was a significant import trade of (sugar-based) rum into the UK. I never knew there was an earlier version. The older I get, the more I realise just how much I've still to learn.

01-16-2009, 10:32 AM
Incorrect as it originates from 1145 (a time incidentally most pubs opened as at 11.45am you'd hear the bolt slide across)

George dRUMmond who also happened to play in the Langolian pipe and dRUM band in the area created the potion as it was cayeld back then to rival mead (from runny'mead') which was sometimes mistakenly misheard as RUMmymead.

This from olde lies of Lidyepule book not elsewhere published on this site. Lies meaning of course, the way the land lies - not as in fibs which this is.

captain kong
01-16-2009, 12:08 PM
In 1645 Oliver Cromwell was sat in the House of Commons on the banks of Ye Thames, Musing of this and that and of many other things when a court messenger arrived from Up North, He brought news of a `Mud` that made many things in life so much easyer. It was used in the making of bricks, Oliver did want a new Palace to be built, It was used in the manufacture of paints, his boudouir needed a new coat, it also cured the flatulence that was common amongst the landed gentry of the time and last but not least it was better than yeast in the making of Brown Ale, a brew he was not particularly fond of when made of Ye Thames mud due to the use of Ye Thames as an open sewer.
He made enquirys of the where abouts of this magical `Mud`. It was in a place known as Gerston and the owner was one Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in Bolton, the possessor of Ye Deeds.
He assembled his Army and they marched Up North to Ye Township of Bolton.
After two years had passed he arrived on the outskirts of Bolton his men went into the town for a well earned ale in the alehouse still known as Ye Olde Man and Scythe, They started on the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery Brown Ale made from the famous Gerston Mud. They had never ever tasted anything as good being from the area known as Ye Thames.
They got themselves very legless and started to fight with the local Woolybacks. The Woolybacks had no chance against a well armed Cromwellian Army and soon they were slaughtered, two thousand Woolybacks were put to the sword, the street outside Ye Olde Man and Scythe ran in rivers of blood. This massacre is still recorded on the Memorial Cross that was erected by Baron Aspin, on the site of ye execution of the Earl of Denby three years before.
Baron de Aspin was in Lahpool visiting his Brother John de Aspin, brewer of the famous Cambrious Craft Brewery Brown ale and one time Seafarer. He was quaffing several firkins of the Brown stuff whilste playing his harpsichord and singing ye old favourite song of Greensleeves, when a messenger arrived to tell him of the slaughter of 2000 Woolybacks in his home town of Bolton.
He was much sorrowed by this news and immediately went back on the ale again.
Finally as the days passed he decided to go home to his beloved Aspin Hall.
He rode his charger down Ye Olde East Lancashire Road and as he arrived on the hill overlooking Bolton he could see a pyre of flames and smoke in ye far distance.
Meanwhile Oliver Cromwell had arrived at the manor known as Aspin Hall, the residence of one Baron de Aspin. He battered down the doors and his men searched ye house for Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud. He searched the great hall, the 32 bedrooms, the banqueting rooms, even the Maids quarters, some of his men having their wicked ways with ye wenches, much to their delight.
Cromwell was much disturbed by not finding ye deeds. He did not know Ye Deeds had been given to the heir of the Earl of Denby now known as the Earl of Denby, two years earlier. So in a fit of Pique he set fire to the great Hall of Aspin. It blazed for seven days and seven nights.
Cromwell was so distraught at the loss of Ye Deeds he turned teetotal, and not another drop of liqour passed his lips and he became a Puritan and went on an extended holiday to Ireland.
On seeing the charcoal embers of his once beloved Great Hall, Baron de Aspin rode back to his brother`s dwelling at the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery famous for the Cambrinous Brown Ale on the Earl of Denby`s Estate and immediately went back on the ale to drown his many sorrows.
One day whilst under the influence of ye Famous Cambrinous Brown Ale he staggered out into ye local woods in a fierce rain storm to relieve himself against a tree. A flash of lightening struck the tree and he suddenly saw the light.
"What am I doing here?", he shouted at the storm, A great voice from the sky boomed out, "Cos you give me a pain in the ass". He was much afraid of this great voice. "From hence forth you will be known as Kong and become a Seafaring man, go ye to Gerston and sign on ye Mud ships of the great fleet of Mud carriers and go to the three corners of ye known world."
The storm passed and Baron Aspin de Kong was a changed man and also a changed name. He left his brother`s home at the Cambrinous Craft Brewery, a Purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ale to the Northern Shires, and went to Gerston where he met a Cistene Monk who was a well known Navigator, having sailed back and forth to his old country with Gerston Mud for Ye Holy Father, Ye Pope.
The Cistene Monk sometimes known as Alfonso, taught Kong all he needed to know about Navigating ye worlds oceans and so another famous seafaing man was born. He decided to change his name again when he recieved his Masters Certificate from Alfonso, the great navigating Cistene Monk. He became Aspinale de Kong. Henceforth all his sons and all their sons became seafarers. a big change from being landed gentry, The lands around the Great Hall is now a large council estate full of ruffians and benefit cheats.

This is a true story based on real historical facts.

brian daley
01-16-2009, 03:47 PM
New Hayes Hospital 1999
Our reader stirs himself from his reading of the old and charred manuscript to pour a refreshing cup of tea. As he sits sipping the drink he glances over to the Tupperware box and is seized by a mild curiosity. ?What lies therein? he pondered,?Could it be as big a surprise as that box of wonders?? Reaching across for it he notices that it is sealed with ducting tape.?He must have wanted whatever is in there to stay dry? He quickly peeled back the tape and opened the box. Inside were some old envelopes with their contents still within. He lifted one out and saw that it had on the back of the envelope the letters OHMS. Was this an old tax demand. He drew out the letter and unfolded it ,the header page was embossed with the coat of arms of Crown Royal Pursuivant.The letter was dated 8th August 1938.
Scanning the contents he read that it was from the Royal and Ancient Pursuivant, written in answer to a plea entered on behalf of K.J.Keegan, in which he fought for the restoration of the title and deeds to his life and family tree which had been purloined by certain members of the De Aspinall family. The courts Pursuivant had found favour with the plea entered by K.J.Keegan and had issued a Royal Warrant against the family of Aspinalls demanding that they desist in their actions in causing several and varied actions of public and private mischief against the said plaintiff. It also ordered that the Five guineas which the said Baron Aspin had borrowed off the plaintiffs family during the period of the Commonwelth be paid back with interest.
Our reader drew out a second missive from an unmarked envelope ,it contained but one sentence in clear English ,the rest of the page written in a strange and wonderful code,
The signature at the bottom was illegible but the logo beneath it was unmistakeable ,it was a figure like the Golem with the words Mode Humanus enscribed beneath it. Looking back at the English sentence he read again ? The finger is pointing at Aspinale and the action must be expedited ?
The old man began stirring in his bed as he hurriedly restored the contents of the box,he
had great difficulty in refixing the tape to its proper state .
Putting the box back on the bed ,our reader wondered ?Where the hell is this going??

01-16-2009, 08:17 PM
Incorrect as it originates from 1145 (a time incidentally most pubs opened as at 11.45am you'd hear the bolt slide across)

George dRUMmond who also happened to play in the Langolian pipe and dRUM band in the area created the potion as it was cayeld back then to rival mead (from runny'mead') which was sometimes mistakenly misheard as RUMmymead.

This from olde lies of Lidyepule book not elsewhere published on this site. Lies meaning of course, the way the land lies - not as in fibs which this is.

By God this tale is becoming a RUM doo!

Jeff Glasser
01-16-2009, 08:21 PM
Kong, was'nt there also a certain Michael of Aspin who was a jester and sooth sayer at the court of King Charles. I believe there was great treachery by his cousin, Brian of Aspin hall, who ensured his death at the hands of Cromwells' men.


brian daley
01-16-2009, 09:57 PM

I have worked hard these many days to try and keep some sort of order in this
pestiferous place ;since we arrived at La Boca near half the crew are absent ,including our Captain ,who has spent a fortune in the seedier parts of the town. Were it not for our mate Mr Brewer, I feel that all would have fallen to pieces.
Since his arrival back on board , after a weekend spent with several Argentinian friends doing some genealogical research into the family tree of the President of Argentina ,Dr Jose Evaristo de Uriburu ,Mr Brewer has worked like a Trojan getting things back into order.
He was given an audience with El Presidente after the society had made its presentation of the findings ,and during the course of the audience ,the Presidente asked what Mr Brewer was doing in la Boca. Our mate informed his Excellency of the purpose of our voyage and the disasters that had befallen us ,hence our reason for being in his country. When the assembled company heard what cargo we were carrying they became very excited. They knew of the wonderful bricks that were produced with this product and became anxious to purchase it. There was a great deal of contruction afoot in Buenos Aires ,the Nuevo Puerto was arising out of the marshland to the east of LaBoca, this was to be for the berthing of the new steamships and the builders were hungry for bricks.
Mr Brewer opened tentative negotiations with the contractors that the Presidente had arranged to see him. I was despatched to find our Captain, because without him the negotiations could come to naught.
As I searched, I found a trail of mayhem that he had left in his wake, music halls trashed and bars that would never do business again. The Marineros were hot on his tail and Don Lorenzo ,the keeper of the Calabozo was seeking him to have him as a prized inmate. Old Rocko Fairley told me that our Captain had a fearsome reputation in these parts, not for nothing was he known to the denizens of La Boca as El Alehouse.

Mr Fairley espied our Captains somnolent form laying on the steps of the Sailors Home ,he was attempting to go back to his roots mayhap. With assistance of some brawny capatazes ,we were able to smuggle our captains comatose body back on board. These capatazes were hard men, of Welsh.extraction ,they manned the sheep stations on the Patagonian Pampas ,but could talk the sailor talk as many were deserters from the sailing ships before settling with their southern kin. We may have need of their services if we lose any more of our crew.

It took near twenty four hours to bring our Captain back to sobriety, many cups of rich black Brazilian coffee were poured down his throat before he was compos mentis enow to assimilate the information Mr Brewer had for him.
To make an early sale of the cargo at a greater price than we would have achieved in Valparaiso,not to have to make that awful voyage around the Horn. We could seek a cargo here for a return to Garston ,Argentina was full of goods that would bring a good return on the home market. Thus it is that fortunes are made, and lost!

20.05 1898
Our Supercargo Gedric was given the task of seeking the most lucrative cargo for our return while Mr Brewer used the good offices of one of El Presidentes friends to secure the best price for our Mud.
Deals were struck and the trabajadores were set to work discharging our cargo, the repairs were speeded up as the holds were emptied and our young Supercargo Gedric reported the news of the cargo he secured for home.
Rawhides, many tons of them. He reasoned that the newly formed Tannery in King Street would benefit from such a cargo and would pay a handsome price too.. It was a foul smelling cargo and brought with it swarms of bloated blow flies. They settled everywhere and we spent much time under cover trying to avoid the plague.
Soon the last hatches were battened ,the Shipwright reported that the masts and spars were ready for the worst of storms and that our hull was sound..
We would soon be ready for sea.
And what of our crew? We had only lost one member ,young Paddy had heard the siren song of the South Seas and had embarked with the whalermen to make some money. How he would fare in such rough company was anybodys guess, but I fear he would not have much time for his poetic endeavours on such a vessel.
With the loss of Paddy and the death of young Midshipman Seddon we needed to ship just two beachcombers, Clancy ,a midlander who had spent far to long in the sun, and Luggy ,a old Nor?easterman who had been left behind after a wild weekend as a guest of Don Lorenzo.
The pilot is booked for the morrow and we will sail down the Rio Plata to catch the Trade winds for a swift journey home.
I look forward to the clean stiff breezes that will rid us of this nauseous swarm, three days should do it and then I will set myself to the labours of recording the story of the Brotherhood.
Sadly,there were no letters from home.

captain kong
01-17-2009, 09:51 AM
Michael de Aspin was only a half member of the de Aspin family. He was born on the other side of the blanket after a dalliance by Baron de Aspin and a serving wench known as Miss Lilac in that house of ill repute, Ye Olde Man and Scythe, in the square in ye township of Bolton.
Unfortunately he had news of Baron De Aspin coming into possession of Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud. He always wanted an allowance off ye Baron. Ye Baron found he was an embarrassment to the Family honour and banished him from Bolton.
It transpired that the messenger from Up North who delivered the news of the amazing Mud to Oliver Cromwell at the House of Commons was no less a person than Michael de Aspin. He was a traitor.
He tagged along with Oliver`s Army when they marched Up North to seize the said Deeds from Baron de Aspin in Aspin Hall in ye olde town of Bolton, hoping the Baron would be killed and then he could take over the title and the Hall.
News of Michael`s treachery reached the ears of the Baron de Aspin and a search warrant issued for his capture. Michael was the only man to survive the slaughter of ye 2000 Woolybacks by Oliver`s Army, proving he was in cahoots with Oliver.
One Jeffery de Glass, named as such for he had a glass eye, and flew like the wind all over the country, learned that Michael de Aspin was a frequent visitor to that well known den of iniquity, Dirty Dicks, in Wapping in ye City of London..
He paid two ruffians a guinea each to help him to despatch Michael de Aspin.
They waited until he staggered out of that hostelry to relieve himself over a stray beggar who was lying in the gutter, and they pounced,. Throwing a sack over the head of Michael they bundled him into a cart and transported him down to Wapping Creek.
A hole was dug at low tide and Michael was buried up to his neck and then they waited for ye tide to come in. As they waited they quaffed a few bottles of John de Aspin`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery`s Brown Ale out of some bottles that Jeff de Glass had brought with him from Up North.
Michael`s screams for mercy soon turned to gurgles as the tide swirled over his head and then he was gone.
The Baron de Aspin had revenge at last for his evil son`s treachery.

01-17-2009, 09:52 AM
I did say cuff me to the mast.:rolleyes:

01-17-2009, 11:27 AM
I'm awaiting a mention of the doomsayer who started the temperance movement in opposition to all the rum swigging - Baron Le Monade.

Jeff Glasser
01-17-2009, 12:13 PM
Tis' true. The one named Jeff de Glass was an ancester of mine. The afore mentioned eye was lost in a poker game to a sea fareing wastrel who wore a patch over both eyes.
The name goes back to the times of the Norman invasion. A certain Duke Julian de Glass, a member of the French Nobility who fought valiantly alongside William. (Though twas' said he would always test which way the wind was blowing before deciding who to fight for, a trait still in evidense to this day in the now named 'Glasser' family.) He had laid with a local wench believed to go by the name of 'Naked Cadillac' or something very similar, resulting in the long family line of de Glass.
Over the centuries the name has cropped up whenever any underhanded and devious acts have been reported in the broad sheets and tabloids from all counties of this fair Isle. As has been noted, he once sailed as Tiger to the notorious Captain Aspinal, and was the only person who could safely handle the Captain when he was in one of his frequent drunken rages.

captain kong
01-17-2009, 03:34 PM
A few Centuries later, the Earl of Denby having lost all his money again on the Horses at Aintree had the Bailiffs hammering on his door at the Great Hall.
He only had one recourse and that was to disappear. He changed his name by deed poll to the Earl of Standley, The bailiffs came and he proved that he wasn?t the Earl of Denby as he was the Earl of Standley and claimed he had no idea of the previous Earl`s whereabouts. The Bailiffs departed.
He still possessed Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud.and still supplied Mud to the descendant of John de Aspin, now known as John de Aspin, the owner of the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery of Cambrinous Brown Ale and purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ales to the Northern Shires.
Meanwhile a certain family of ruffians, by the name of Keegan, in the village of Garston were claiming the rights to possess Ye Deeds, as they were the original founders of the famous Mud from way back in the 1st century in the year of 48 A.D. The family of Kee Ghan thrived for eleven centuries, exporting their Mud around the three corners of the known world for the manufacture of these special bricks and also for the use of relieving the flatulence suffered by the gentry due to their habit of over indulgence whilst the peasants starved. As with all great empires, the empire of KeeGhan`s Mud was infiltrated by foreigners, They were first of all customers of the Kee Ghan Enterprises, this great Company had spread itself far across the three corners of the known world, to Rome, Persia, Byzantum and beyond. These peoples formed a Brotherhood and infiltrating into the Company eventually took over. 95%of the board were Members of the Brotherhood. They called themselves the `Illuminata`, a secret society , even KeeGhan could not be a member even though he still had a seat on the Board.

In 1192 the Kee Ghan family.were conned out of Ye Deeds by one Adam de Gerston. Adam went bankrupt in 1198, due to his indolence , drinking the scRUMpy of the IndescRUMpy Company, and much wenching, He later sold Ye Deeds to one Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in Ye Township of Bolton, for a few Crowns
These said Deeds over the years were eventually passed over to the Earl of Denby of Lahpool in the 17th Century where they were then transferred to the name of one Earl of Standley. The whereabouts of the said Deeds are now a mystery. Does the Standley family still have them? Or have they again sold them to repay their gambling debts.
Meanwhile the family of ruffians of the name of Keegan of Garston also claimed for a debt that was owing of five guineas plus interest.
Captain Aspinale de Kong, a prominent Seafaring man of distinction, a descendant of the original Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in the town of Bolton, has said that the said debt of five guineas was used as a credit note by the Keegan family to consume vast quantities of the now famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery`s Cambrinous Brown Ale, a product that uses the Gerston Mud in its manufacture. This Cambrinous Brown Ale over a period of time has the effect of losing memory and so Mr Keegan has forgotten all those days and nights when he consumed copious quantities of the said Brew. Indeed he now has a bar bill reaching into the hundreds of guineas, Captain Aspinale de Kong`s last comments were,? I`ll see you in Court, Keegan?

brian daley
01-18-2009, 01:25 AM
24,06 .1898

We are near home now ,the voyage has been without incident , the blow flies are far behind us and I am free once more to continue with my tale.
Those of you who are not of Garston blood will find it hard to give credence to my story; the fact that we gave sanctuary to so many outsiders did not help in this matter. The ?foreigners? sought to discredit our history by publishing scurrilous tales and calumnies. I have no axe to grind and would ask you to consider my words as being true . Therefore ,those of you who are still awaiting the truth may read on.
I left of at that part of my history when the brewery was founded by the good Michael Aspinall. Set up on the banks of the Mersey it was to endure through the all the changes that were wrought by time. We have no need to bother ourselves with that enterprise ,a seller of good ale will always be needed by honest thirsty men.
I wish to record the important mile stones that mark our towns history and the real story of the hands that operated the levers of power. The hands of the Brotherhood of Mudmen.
When the great cathedral was built there were,as I have already indicated, two secret chambers built beneath it .Within those chambers were stored our archives and the sum total of our arcane knowledge. With the spread of our network throughout the then charted world ,our Brethren had gleaned the secrets of the ancients and all were brought back to our ?citadel? . Here they were subjected to intensive scrutiny , the rituals and ancient prayers of manifold peoples of the old world were subjected to empirical practice and observation, and it was through such trial that our Elders discovered some terrible secrets.
I have related the tale of Kings Johns innards, that is just the stuff of nursery stories when compared to the greatest discovery.

When the people of Judea were subjected to their sojourn among the Babylonians they met with a world so different from that in their native land. Being worshippers of the one god, there they met with a multitude of beliefs for the Chaldeans,the people of Babylon, were at the crossroads of the old world and had come into contact with the Egyptian ,Greek, Indian and Scythian beliefs. The Zoroastrians influenced them too and this led to a fusion out of which the Kabbala was formed. Bel and Hea,Nipur and other minor gods were prayed to . The Judeans embraced none of the idols but did embrace the Kabbala and did learn some of the great secrets. The greatest secret of all was the manipulation of clay. And not as a substance for brickmaking or pottery ,but for something more powerful than that. I fear that I will lose you here if you do not keep your disbelief suspended. The greatest and most secret use of clay was for the making of what can only be called automatons.
When this knowledge was brought to us during the middle period of the Christian Kingdom of Jerusalem, it was deemed to be too incredible. Only the Illuminati were informed ,and only those empiricists among their number were allowed to have sight of the information. Accordingly ,another secret workshop was excavated beneath the cathedral and it was their that the most trusted brethren set to work in the matter of seeing if such a thing were possible,the construction of a Golem.
Our brothers laboured long and hard in their efforts to emulate the success of the Chaldeans, the first clay model was adopted by the Brotherhood as their emblem. A man of clay, Mode Humanus. The image was engraved on to
medallions and seals ,these would only be issued to the men of who had been initiated in to our society. The statue itself was placed in our Temple as a symbol of whence we came,Mud.!!
The strict code that governed our Order meant that no one could ,or would divulge knowledge of its existence, other orders had made themselves manifest by wearing their colours openly and had been put to the sword. Like the chameleon ,we adopted the colours of those around us, so for many centuries Garston was a very catholic place. We served our lords and masters and paid what taxes they thought we should , the prying eyes of the priests and tax gatherers were never truly aware of true assets .Our true wealth was in our secret knowledge and the powers that this knowledge gave us. Our advances
in the fields of medicine led to the betterment of our peoples health. The medicinal properties of this fabulous boon of the river was still our greatest source of wealth.
The next milestone in our history came with the war between the Houses of Lancaster and York, such terror and misery was visited upon the common people when the warring Barons and Earls sought to conscript yeomen for their militias. Fathers were forced to fight against sons and brother against brother, if they were conscripted into the opposing armies. The Norris family ,our nearest neighbour espoused the Yorkist cause ,whilst that caviller Stanley waited and watched his options.
Our township took no sides and the local Earls and barons knew well enough not to attempt any conscription of our yeomanry. They were all them too deeply indebted to us, were had their letters of mark which we could foreclose on any time.
As a footnote to that period of history it should be noted that Stanley cavilled to the very last moment at Bosworth field . He held his men back on the rise above that great field of battle until he had a clear indication of which House would prevail. When Richard fell ,Stanley entered the field on the side of the Marcherman.

The next milestone, and the beginning of a dangerous part of our history takes place not in our town ,but Prague, in the kingdom of Bohemia.
The Holy Roman Emperor was resident there in the late 16th century and he caused the people to turn against the Jews , subjecting them to degradations which ,because of the royal sanction, led to murder ,rapine and mayhem . The Maharal, or chief Rabbi, pleaded with the Emperor Rudolf to desist in his actions without success. A number of our Brethren were in Prague at this very time with a cargo of mud, amongst them was one of the Illuminati, who was conversant with the construction of the Golem and he made haste to visit the Maharal. After he had identified himself as a friend , the Rabbi listened to the Intelligence that our Brother had to impart and men were despatched to the Vlatava to collect enough of the mud to commence the construction of this warrior of God. Upon completion of the Golem Rabbi Loewe and our Brother spent the night chantimg ancient Chaldean prayers and performing secret rituals over the statue.
Kabbalistic signs were inscribed upon its parts and then the Rabbi stepped forward and made the mark that, until this moment, had been unknown to our Brother. It was a Hebrew word ?Emet? an ancient word for Life. The Golem breathed life and quickly grew to a monstrous size and went out in to the night to follow the instructions written on his several parts. The Golem caused such a wave of death and destruction amongst the Christians of Prague that the Emperor begged the Rabbi to make it desist in its actions. By removing the first letter of the word Emet ,the word became death and the Golem was returned to a clay statue again. The wise Rabbi secreted the Golem beneath the synagogue in Prague where some believe it lies there still.
However the Mudmen now had the power to activate their own Golem, more of which anon.
The tales outsiders publish are many and varied ,but none of them true, The truth lies in the bound volumes from which I transcribe this narrative. As the crowns changed heads and the Tudor line ceased to be ,the Stuarts came down from Scotland to claim their inheritance and it is here that our fortunes enter another phase.

01-18-2009, 01:00 PM
Would the self same Norris family be kin to those from the green, who through industry and guile had a place name bequeathed upon them by the elders.

brian daley
01-18-2009, 01:11 PM
The Norris family(a.k.a. Norrys and Norries) resided at Speke Hall and became influential within the Borough of Liverpool. the land upon which the estate is built was donated to Liverpool council in 1920 by Lord Derby(relation) and was ,indeed, named after the Liverpool Norris's. But remember,all the rest is just whiff'n'spoof.

01-18-2009, 04:44 PM
Speke Hall is haunted evenso:ninja:

captain kong
01-18-2009, 05:03 PM
The Secret Societies have been present in the history of man for a very long time. It all started thousands of years ago with the "Brotherhood of the Sumerian Mud,? a secret society set up by an alien named Ea or Enki. This story is very carefully told in the Sumerian scriptures, which go back at least 6000 years. There it says man was created by draconian aliens, who came to this planet to exploit its resources - especially the Mud. But the work was heavy, so the alien race wanted someone else to do the hard work. Thus Ea, who was a brilliant scientist, created homo sapiens as a hybrid between a primitive earth life-form and the alien race. These images made from the Sumerian Mud were living breathing creatures in the likeness of man. These were made from the Mud in the shape of a man.and brought to life. They were know as Golem.
In the 1st Century AD all the Sumerian Mud had been used up. The whole area had been returned to the desert.. There was nothuing left, civilisation as they knew it was also drying up.
Other sources say once the golem had been physically made one needed to write the letters aleph, mem, tav, which is emet and means "truth," on the golem's forehead and the golem would come alive. Erase the aleph and you are left with mem and tav, which is met, meaning "death."
Often in Ashkenazi Hasidic lore, the golem would come to life and serve his creators by doing tasks assigned to him. The most well-known story of the golem is connected to Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel, the Maharal of Prague (1513-1609). It was said that he created a golem out of The Mud to protect the Jewish community from Blood Libel and to help out doing physical labour, since Golems were very strong.
Again the Mud from which these Golems were made were drying up and there was a crisis in the world, the likes of which have never been seen, since until we had the Credit Crunch in September in the year 2008.
. Another version says it was close to Easter, in the spring of 1580 and a Jew-hating priest was trying to incite the Christians against the Jews. So the golem protected the community during the Easter season. Both versions recall the golem running amok and threatening innocent lives. A separate account has the golem going mad and running away. Several sources attribute the story to Rabbi Elijah of Chelm, saying Rabbi Loew, one of the most outstanding Jewish scholars of the sixteenth century who wrote numerous books on Jewish law, philosophy, and morality, would have actually opposed the creation of a golem unless it was made from Ye Gerston Mud, the only supply left in the known three corners of the world.
Ye Gerston Mud had been in popular use for the last few centuries since 48 AD when the Romans exploited it and Kee Ghan operated the Mud fields on a three shift system to maintain the heavy demand for it. The Gerston Mud was now the only place left in the three corners of ye known worlde.
Mean while the scholars and scientists of the time made the discovery of the manufacture of the special bricks, also if taken as a medicine, one spoonful each morning and evening, cured the extreme flatulence that was prevalent at the time due to the over indulgence of the ruling classes at the expence of ye peasants.
Many centuries later, one John de Aspin, brother of Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in ye township of ye ancient town of Bolton, was a Master Brewer and one time Seafaring man, accidently dropped some of the Gerston Mud into a vat of Brown Ale at his Cambrinous Craft Brewery which was sited on the Earl of Denby`s Estate in a quiet suburb of Lahpool. He had also run out of Finings in the last stage of the brewing of this Brown Ale. The results were staggering. It had a distinctive shade of Brown and the taste was out of this world. After many tests it was also discovered that no matter how much of the Brown ale was supped, the drinker never suffered from the dreaded flatulence which is quite common amongst beer drinkers. And thus the Cambrinous Brown Ale was born. A revolution in the manufacture of fine ales.
Thus out of this, the Baron de Aspin was determined to get his hands on Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud, as the price was constantly rising. The year was 1198 and the owner of the Mud in Gerston was one Adam de Gerston, who had aquired them from the Kee Ghan family six years previously. Adam was now broke due to his life style of debauchery with the local wenches and the supping of much scRUMpy from the IndescRUMpy Distillery in Walton Vale. So for just a few Crowns, Baron de Aspin became the proud owner of Ye Gerston Mud. And the rest is history.

This story is as clear as Mud, I hope you can understand it all.
It is based on fact and from the Historical records of the Aspin family archives.

Jeff Glasser
01-18-2009, 05:25 PM
kong, I'm starting to laugh now, I'm sorry, and I feel this is a poor attitude to have relevant to your great writings!! I will now go away to a dark place and poke knitting needles into my eyes as a penance.


captain kong
01-18-2009, 05:31 PM
This is a very serious subject and should be treated as such.
I do not like people who make mockery at these historical writings, read on you may be educated in the ways of the Brotherhood. Your ancester Jeffery de Glass thought diferently, especialy when he picked up his fee for Despatching young Michael de Aspin.

Jeff Glasser
01-18-2009, 07:30 PM
I am a true believer kong, the needles in the eyes have worked, I am now once again your devoted reader.
I have done a bit of research of my forefathers, and it has come to light of a certain jethro Glass, he rode shot spear on the delivery carts of the well known fermenter of apple and pear juices 'Showrengs' in the old Somerset town of Sheeptown Mallay'. Founded by the Romans and known by them as LLinoleum.
You will no doubt be familier with the brand name -'Bebe champagne, invented by accident by Francisca de le Showreng, himself an illegal immigrant from Rumania.
It was rumoured that on one of Jethro's trips to Lahpool they delivered several barrels of home brewed Sc'RUM'py to a brewery that traded under the name of Aspinal. Whist the driver was busied with chits and receipts, our Jethro stole a keg of the MUD that he saw being added (secretly) to the bubbling brew. It was brought back and added to the squashed pear juice, giving it a great aphrodisical quality. To this day, men wishing to have their way with the local wenches will ply them with 'BabyCham', as it is now quaintly called in Somersetshire. Of course not being able to obtain more of the Lahpool MUD, a substitude has been found in the inferior mud from the river Severn.
This, as has been noted, is highly inflammable if not added in the correct ratios. ( see Old Glastonbury Sewer explosion of 1746 ) but nobody in the West country has so far complained, though severe flatulance has been attributed to it.

01-18-2009, 08:02 PM
Somerset a shire :shock:

Jeff Glasser
01-19-2009, 12:55 PM
It is in my story Paddy.

captain kong
01-19-2009, 03:07 PM
Jeff, In your own interests I urge you to read and inwardly digest the following statement issued by the Law Society.

As the elliptic statements of the basic ingredients of criminal liability that they are
frequently taken to be, both expressions [actus reus and mens rea] are incomplete and
misleading. While the term mens rea is used in at least three distinct senses, so that failure to
distinguish clearly between them leads inevitably to confusion, the terminology of actus reus
tends to conceal the important principles that are at stake when the courts are deciding what
sorts of conduct deserve condemnation as criminal. I do not mean to suggest that the
traditional terminology should be abandoned; rather I would argue that a sharper awareness of
its limitations might help us to see more clearly what the preconditions to criminal liability
really are, and how far they really reflect the principles they are commonly supposed to
encapsulate. . . .and so..
The wrongful and illegal acquisition of the said Mud, by Jethroe de Glasse from the premises of one John de Aspin, owner of the said Cambrinous Craft Brewery and brewer of the said Cambrious Brown Ale whose ingredients contain a percentage of Mud in the brewing thereof, and also Purveyor of Cambrinouse Brown Ales to the Northern Shires, comstitutes a criminal offence which if proven can and will be punishable by death.
It was presumed that the Olde Glanstonbury Sewer Explosion of 1746 was a fitting punishment by an act of God and the Courts would feel that this was a just punishment on some of the perpetrators of this heinous crime.
Nevertheless the offence of the theft of the Gerston Mud, from the above Purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ale to the Northern Shires, takes precedent over any other offence. As the accused, one Jethrow de Glasse, is now deceased, steps will be taken to exhume his remains and will then therefore be drawn and quartered before being fed to the local Farmers swine.
This act of law will be a deterrent to any other person or persons wishing to commit a similar offence. The British Courts take a very serious view of the theft of such Gerston Mud and the full weight of the Law will be applied to any offender.
This division of crime into its constituent parts is an exercise of analytical convenience: the
concepts of actus reus and mens rea are simply tools, useful in the exposition of the criminal
law. Great care should, therefore, be taken to avoid determining questions of policy by
reference to definition and terminology. Such observations as that the maxim actus non facit
reum nisi mens sit rea serves the ?important purpose of stressing two basic requirements of
criminal liability,? make actus reus and mens rea seem rather more than analytical tools. They
have been converted from the descriptive to the normative: to propositions that criminal
liability should be based on harmful conduct, and should require a mental element. .

So let that be a lesson to you.

01-19-2009, 03:26 PM
Well thats cleared up.:002:

brian daley
01-19-2009, 04:24 PM
I am in the process of instructing my solicitors to pursue through the courts damages for the theft of intellectual property right to said story of The Mudmen Code. Now sod off and write your own story,you have been warned!! I am trying to tella tale here,

Jeff Glasser
01-19-2009, 07:08 PM
Kong, firstly I must mention that a search for the mortal remains of Jethro de Glass would be in vain. He was involved in a terrible explosion whilst trying to make illicit Bebechampagne in a home made still in the de Glass hovel outhouse, without making sure the place was well ventilated.
Only a few singed shards of the pink tights that he always wore, and the feather from his cap were all that was found. Some said that he had used the ensuing confusion to make good his escape from the Kings excise men that were closing in fast regarding matters too distasteful to mention here, and using the fleetness of foot that he was well known for, made his way to safer grounds in the great wastelands of Lancashire, never to be heard of again.
p.s. I'm not really a descendant, I took the name from a grave stone, so it'll be no good looking to me for any kind of reimbursement!
I are a foundling.

Secondly, Sorry Brian D, we do seem to have hijacked you story. Pray continue.

Jeff ( real name John Smith )

captain kong
01-19-2009, 09:26 PM
Sorry about all that `ar Brian, I guess we got carried away in the heat of the moment. We digressed.

to Jeff

The swine,
Justice has been cheated again. I was hoping to re-enact the execution scene that the Earl of Derby, sometimes known as James Stanley, of Lord Derby fame experienced all those years before.
The Cambrinous Craft Brewery has produced a bottle of the famous Cambrinous Craft Brown Ale very popular in the Northern Shires. It is 5.5% and BV 1051. A very strong beer only to be consumed by the decendants of ye Woollybacks.
It portrays the scaffold and execution scene, of James Stanley the Earl of Derby, outside ye Ancient Hostelry, Ye Olde Man and Scythe, in Bolton.

I bet you all thought it never existed. I told you all along it was a true story, This Brew is called James Stanley`s REVENGE. brewed by the decendant of John de Aspin now known as John Aspinall, Master Brewer and Master Mariner.

Click on Ye Thumb Nail.

01-19-2009, 10:05 PM
The same Stanley that was ousted out the bookie trade by one William of the Hill!

brian daley
01-19-2009, 11:10 PM
Hey Brian ,I thought that was a photograph of your tattoo,good picture though,hic.
I've just got back from a fantastic Burns night and I'm stuffed to the gunwhales with tatties ,neaps ,haggis and some fine old Scotch. Normal service will be resumed as soon as I remember who I am,er,'appy new year.

01-20-2009, 08:24 AM
Hey Brian ,I thought that was a photograph of your tattoo,good picture though,hic.
I've just got back from a fantastic Burns night and I'm stuffed to the gunwhales with tatties ,neaps ,haggis and some fine old Scotch. Normal service will be resumed as soon as I remember who I am,er,'appy new year.

Been on the Scotch again? As James May said on the telly last week:
"Scotch is responsible for ruining Rabbie Burns' spelling and making Scotsmen think they look good in skirts".

Made me laugh anyway!

captain kong
01-20-2009, 04:03 PM
I think he`s been on the Aspinall`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery Brown Ale.

01-20-2009, 08:21 PM
Can we get back to the twelve year old single blend mud!

brian daley
01-20-2009, 10:12 PM


I have had so little time to attend to my recording of the travails of the Brethren of late; no sooner had we neared the Scillies than a great storm blew out of the North East . It added near a week to our passage and brought back dreadful memories of our outward journey ,but we are in the Irish Sea now ,heading for Liverpool Bay. I am minded of the tales my father told me as a child of when he would be making the same passage home. He told of the excitement that seizes hold of a crew as they near their native port. Our crew is in such a state of excitement now, all thoughts of South America lie far behind us as we crest the waves, homeward bound.
I go home with mixed feelings, the journey I set out upon was never completed, we failed to fulfil our contract with our Chilean associates, great damage was caused to our Mudskipper by the storm that took us off the coast of Brazil and ,worst of all, we lost young John Seddon to that cold dark ocean..
The other side of the coin is that we have made new contacts in the Argentine, we have a cargo of the finest raw cowhides and we should show great profit from this venture.
In two days time we should be safely berthed in Garstons new enclosed dock, I will be back in the bosom of my family and mayhap learn on what new ventures I will embark when my the time is due.
I have some small free time and will endeavour to record some more of the Brethrens history.

When our Brothers returned from Prague, our Brother who was of the Illuminati .made haste to see his Grand master to impart him the intelligence he had learned of the means of activating the Golem. His fellow travellers were ignorance of all that had passed in Bohemia and so the secret was safe within the Illuminatis breast. Many years would pass before we heard of the Golem and it stood peacefully below the stonework in our great cathedral..

As the Royal houses succeeded one another and the Stuarts occupied the throne of the twin kingdoms of England and Scotland, religious fervour started to sweep the country at large, we in Garston escaped the worst excesses of this fervour. The Brethren sought to accommodate the changes by a seeming acceptance of change yet remained steadfast to their creed. They were well versed in the art of lip service.
Their secrets were many , some arcane ,gleaned from ancient scriptures ,and some contemporary, learned from the latest thinkers of the day.
What was undeniable was our Society had discovered a secret so world shaking and terrible that it could not be divulged but to the innermost few.
As with most discoveries ,it was found when looking for something else.Our apothecaries were searching to enlarge upon their knowledge of the medicinal
properties of the Mud which they were now dredging from the shore near Hale. This was exceedingly different from that which was dredged from Oglet or Garston shore. Its texture and composition was much finer and it had a distinctive odour ,to the tongue it had a chalybeate taste.
Why should this be so different, whence did it emanate and what good was it?
It was not good for brick making ,it did not have immediate curative properties,it was benign in that there were no harmful effects and ,indeed it could be ingested without any discernable effects, good or ill.
As with all our empiricists ,their work took many decades to draw conclusions ,we had men enough to spare for such diversions and the full weight of our society was given without stint.
There was never a Eureka moment when the discovery was made manifest, instead the moment was kept quiet ,as quiet as the grave!
What our apothecaries had discovered was that regular ingestion of this mud was holding back the senescence that accompanies age. Whilst our empiricists were indulging their efforts in experimentation throughout the decades of testing ,it was noted that they had never aged a moment ,yet their Brethren in employ on other ventures aged as nature intended. Their cloistered seclusion prevented knowledge of this boon from entering the public domain and our Illuminate had another lever with which to exercise the control of their, so called ,rulers.
Crowned heads throughout Europe learned of this amazing elixir and craved some for themselves,Emirs and Caliphs begged and entreated to learn how they could acquire the prolongation of their mortal existence.
The secret was to remain secret within the vastness of our Societys? citadel.
In the main, life for the Mudmen went on as usual ,only the Illuminati were given this elixir , thus they could rule and govern our order blessed with the wisdom of their years without suffering the deleterious effects of aging.

In the meanwhile ,we had a new monarch on the throne ,James the first of England who was also the sixth king of that name in the twin kingdom of Scotland.
Now that we were a so called United Kingdom ,our Gracious majesty sought to expand his Kingdom in places where others had failed. The first and foremost of his intentions was to do that which all the preceding crowned heads of the English Kingdom had failed to do so far. The subjugation of Ireland.
Since the Pope had granted the English domain over Hibernia in the 12th century, and so extend the writ of the Holy Roman Empire to Erin, no English monarch had managed to go beyond the Pale,that narrow strip of land that stretched down from south of Ulster to the reaches of Wexford.
King James would take the lands in the North and dispossess the barefoot Princes ,thus sowing a crop of dragons teeth that would be reaped as a harvest of spears.
Liverpool was one of the places of embarkation for this great military expedition,wisely ,the Mudmen eschewed any part of this undertaking and the religious bitterness which ensued in the northern parts of our land missed visiting our little township. We were left unmolested to pursue our rise to being a major maritime port on a par with Bristol. The New World was beckoning and our Brethren were ready to exploit the opportunities that lay across the great Ocean.
How we fared will be revealed when I next have time to gasp my pen again , the sun is glinting off the spire of St Nicholas church and I must away to make ready for passage into safe harbour.

01-21-2009, 01:40 PM
Did Paddy get in touch or did he meet his fate in some foriegn and hostile land far from home? Surely the lure of the sirens would not have detered him from the possibilty of obtaining eternal youth by dinking from the bottle had he heard? Or did he wile away lonely hours in a mud hut looking out at the ocean thinking of home and the gaity of oglet shore as the sunsets behind the welsh mud mounds of Snowdonia.?

captain kong
01-21-2009, 05:21 PM
Mr Brewer opened tentative negotiations with the contractors that the Presidente had arranged to see him. I was despatched to find our Captain, because without him the negotiations could come to naught.
As I searched, I found a trail of mayhem that he had left in his wake, music halls trashed and bars that would never do business again. The Marineros were hot on his tail and Don Lorenzo ,the keeper of the Calabozo was seeking him to have him as a prized inmate. Old Rocko Fairley told me that our Captain had a fearsome reputation in these parts, not for nothing was he known to the denizens of La Boca as El Alehouse.

Mr Fairley espied our Captains somnolent form laying on the steps of the Sailors Home ,he was attempting to go back to his roots mayhap. With assistance of some brawny capatazes ,we were able to smuggle our captains comatose body back on board. These capatazes were hard men, of Welsh.extraction ,they manned the sheep stations on the Patagonian Pampas ,but could talk the sailor talk as many were deserters from the sailing ships before settling with their southern kin. We may have need of their services if we lose any more of our crew.

It took near twenty four hours to bring our Captain back to sobriety, many cups of rich black Brazilian coffee were poured down his throat before he was compos mentis enow to assimilate the information

As I sit here in my ruin of a hovel, writing my Memoirs in the light of a flickering candle, that is flickering due to the cold drafts whistling through my room, my arthritic fingers clutching my pen, I try to recollect some of my adventures that I experienced during my sea time as a Master Mariner on the Mud Boats out of Gerston those many years ago.
I recalled the voyage that Mr Twize Daley wrote in his journal, shewn above, about our stay in that den of iniquity and cesspit of a Port, Buenos Aires, on that hostile coast of Argentina whilst we discharged our valuable cargo of Gerston Mud.
I went ashore to meet the Agent, I was told he was in the street known as the Calle Vienti Cinco de Mayo, drinking in his favourite tavern, the Texas Bar.
On meeting him, we conducted our business, then he introduced me to a lovely young Senorita by the name of Cleopatra, She had just sung a song about the Love of a Senorita and her Gaucho Hombre. They were on the Pampas in the light of a full moon, singing a song of love and when she hit the high notes, it set off a stampede and they were both trampled to death by the hooves of a thousand Bovines. A very sad song sang with such passion that she had every one in the Texas Bar weeping into their drinks. There was not a dry eye in the house.
I had another drink with my new found Senorita, Cleopatra, then we danced. The band played a Tango, we were made for each other, our bodies swayed with the music and she was fantastico, as our bodies entwined it sent electric shocks through my body. Then we danced La Bomba, another incredible dance with her shaking all over me. I was in ecstasy. What a wonderful woman the Agent had fixed up for me.
She nibbled on my ear and asked me to escort her to her home. I was swooning with desire for her. We walked hand in hand down the Calle across the wide Avenida, past the Pink Palace and then down a small alley then up some steps and we were into her apartmento.
She poured me a drink of Anis and we sat on her sofa, we kissed passionately, ?Mia Querida? , I whispered in her shell like ear, ?Yo en mucho amor para usted en mia corazon mia querida? and then she said ?Come, passa en mia boudoir, mia querida?. I followed her into her boudoir and we slowly divested ourselves of our garments as she sang the song again about the Senorita and the Gaucho, She was beautiful with skin like alabasta and small breasts, as she removed her pantaloons, SHOCK, HORROR, she had a bigger wedding tackle than me. In a panic I ran out of her apartmento down the steps and around the corner by the Pink Palace. I was only wearing my under garments. The Marineros and the Vigilantes on guard by the Palace shouted `Halta, mucho loco Inglezi Marinero`. I ran past them and ran down the Avenida towards the La Boca, they were chasing me with their sabres drawn, but with my panic I soon outran them. I did not want to end up in Senor Don Lorenzo`s callabozo. In the far distance I could see the Sailors Home, or the Casa de Marineros. My lungs were bursting as I ran, I was gasping for breath as I reached the steps of the Casa Marinero. Then I collapsed half way up them and then it all went dark and I was unconscious.
I believe I was found by my old shipmate, Mr Fairley, who with some `capatazes` who assisted him, they carried me back on board. Pasa el barco.
I was in a state of severe shock from my experience the night before. I was shaking and trembling all over. The rest of the crew thought I was suffering from the dreaded delirium tremens due to a surfeit of Anis. But I can assure the reader that I was not.
My hands are trembling with the cold and there is a film of ice on the surface of my ink pot, so I will have to end my story here and try to get some warmth in them from the candle.
After 42 years of service with the Gerston Mud Company they didnt pay a pension at the end, I was used up and put ashore at the end of my useful service, while the members of the Illuminata lived a life of luxery.
I still curse that Oliver Cromwell for destroying my family Home at Aspin Hall two centuries ago, forcing us to live a life of a Seafarer instead of a Gentleman.
Adios mi amigos.
Captain Aspinale de Kong.

01-21-2009, 06:40 PM
"Mucho Bueno Capitano Aspinale de Kongo",- you tell it exactly as it was !!

Roberto de Fairley :002: :PDT_Aliboronz_24:

01-21-2009, 06:40 PM
It must have been Harrowing for you Kong, those Argies can be tricky.

01-22-2009, 10:21 AM
I think he`s been on the Aspinall`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery Brown Ale.

Can't quite make out the picture. Is it a tatoo on a private part of your anatomy. Could you post a picture of the enlarged version please?

captain kong
01-22-2009, 11:15 AM
Hi Kev,
It is a label on a bottle of Aspinall`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery, titled
James Stanley`s `REVENGE`. Brewed by my brother John, Master Brewer and also Master Mariner.
A special brew to commemerate the execution of James Stanley, the 7th Earl of Derby, 15 October 1651 outside the pub, `Ye Olde Man and Scythe` in Bolton. The pub was built in 1251 and modernised in 1636, it is still a thriving pub today, I am a frequent customer.
The label has the Coat of Arms of the Stanley family and shows the Scaffold and the execution by beheading of the said James Stanley. A memorial now stands on the site of the excution.
Click on the Thumb Nail it is easy to see.

also click on this one and see the "Ye Olde Man and Scythe" pub today
The plaque on the front shows the details of ye execution. Zoom in and you can read it.

Jeff Glasser
01-22-2009, 08:33 PM
Ahh, such a story kong, such command of the written word, such eloquence, etc. ( I shall use the same grovelling words at the end of Bryan D's great saga )
I felt a kinship when reading those final paragraphs, having, I believe, met the same 'Cleopatra' that you speak of in your narrative, though at the time she was working her passage ( ! ) as a bedroom steward on the Brasil Star. I too was decieved by those dark flashing latin eyes, and it was'nt until the journey home during a particularly drunken bout in the chief Engineers cabin three days out of Rio, that her true gender was revealed. I, like your good self, failed to take notice of little give away signs like her waxed and luxuriant Gaucho style moustache, and an Adams apple the size of a honeydew melon! they say love is blind, how true. Luckily, I made it back to the comparrative safety of my own cabin before things reached a state of high embarresment. Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.

captain kong
01-22-2009, 08:52 PM
Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.

That is NO excuse Jeff ,my excuse is that I was under the influence of the ANISE

Jeff Glasser
01-22-2009, 09:00 PM
cong, you are a cruel and insensitive man, could there be no leeway in that cold heart, I had a sheltered up bringing which kept me in great naivity up until the age of thirty one.
I hasten to add that I too was under the influence of the same vicious brew, at least you had great age on your side.

captain kong
01-22-2009, 09:04 PM
I had a sheltered up bringing which kept me in great naivity up until the age of thirty two.

and then it happened.

Jeff Glasser
01-22-2009, 09:09 PM
cong you were too fast, I was editing my post there, but I concede defeat, your's is the stronger pen.
I shall now retire to my corner of the cellar for a much needed rest.

captain kong
01-23-2009, 09:26 AM
The Pen is mightier than the sword.

What happened to the heir of Jeffery de Glasse, known as Jeffery de Glasse. was he a seafaring man sailing out of Sharpness?

Jeff Glasser
01-23-2009, 08:45 PM
'Tis true,
the heir apparrant, and last of the once great de Glass dynasty now moves as mysteriously as ever under the name Jeffrey Glasser. As you rightly surmised he was late of that lamented sea fareing university 'Vindicatrix' once berthed in that great sea port and gateway to the World, Sharpness, during the latter part of the year of our Lord, 1964.

Did you know 'sailors home' is back on air cong? I've just registered back on there. Do you wish that we should take over the afore mentioned site as before? Of course, not without Brian D.

brian daley
01-23-2009, 09:15 PM
Hi Folks ,sorry I have not been about this week,two Burns nights and a hell of workload has meant my time has been pretty well accounted for. As General Macarthur said "I shall return"
Meanwhile ,you can always leave a message on my blog, www.myspace.com-briandaley or call me on Skype.
Normal service will be resumed very soon ,only one more Burns night to go.
Now ,where were we..........aaah,yes.The Mudskipper is now alongside in Garstons new dock and............................................... ...

brian daley
01-25-2009, 02:17 AM

I have news that has shocked me. Upon return to my fathers offices when we had made fast the Mudskipper, he gave me notice of my dismissal as 3rd mate of the ship that had been my home these past months. I am to join a vessel that has been especially commissioned for the new South American beef trade. A steamship which will accomplish that which has been the dream of mariners since Magellans time ; to dispense with the vagaries of wind and weather to propel a ship across oceans. It is the Garstonia, a vessel of some 2000 tons nett ; powered by a triple expansion steam engine ,she will cut the journey time by half. She will be ready for service one month hence and I am to attend the School of Navigation in Grassendale to apprise myself of the different techniques of steam and sail.
I will apply myself with all diligence and also take opportunity to further my researches into the history of the Brotherhood.
Captain Aspinalls younger brother Julian has been given command of the Garstonia, an envied commission, Mr Brewer, will be his mate, our 2nd mate is a newcomer to the company , a Wilfred Liverbob, an unknown quantity, but he is reputed to be of good report. We will have the company of that new breed of seafarer,the Engineer, I have heard many tales of their eccentricities and have oft wondered if there is some truth to such stories. Steam can have addling effects upon the brain ,or so it is said .This vessel will also carry a totally new kind of human being , the sort that writers of lurid fictions have penned many tales; Electricians! The man who will do the devils work on this ship is a Mr Manderson, a Scotsman to boot , let us hope that he is not too in thrall to Satan upon our voyage.
The needs of the crew on this vessel promise to be well catered for ,my father informs me that the Garstonia has a galley that is capable of providing hot meals for the crew regardless of the weather conditions . The maestro in charges of our culinary needs is another Scot ,a Mr Kinghorn.
The Garstonia has the capacity to carry five passengers and has refrigerated hatches, which means that we can carry all manner of fresh produce as well as the beef from the Argentine.

And so I return to my journal of the history of the Brotherhood.

When King James the First of England (and sixth of Scotland ) gave sanction to the settlement of Colonies within the Americas , the Merchants of London financed a settlement to be founded in Virginia, this was after the disastrous settlement of Roanoake, a colony organised by the doomed Sir Walter Raleigh. Roanoake came to nought and no sight was ever found of the original settlers. Many tales abound about the fate of those poor benighted pioneers but no one knows what became of them.
The London settlement ,Jamestown ,however, was successful, the land was fruitful and limitless.
Our Grand Master was of the opinion that the Brethren should finance a settlement in the New World so that the Society should enjoy the riches that could be found therein.
After much discussion they embarked upon an expedition to settle the land to the south of Virginia. The Brethren would have no truck with the City and Guilds of London, they were not yet fully beholden to the Stuart King either.
A Portugese pilot was commissioned to undertake the navigation of this passage and it was estimated that, given the right winds , landfall would be made within the quarter year.
Three caravels were put under orders and were laden with all manner of provisions, lessons had been learned from the previous expeditions of the French and Hispanic attempts at colonisation.
Several notable families from the town made applications for the passage and our aldermen, under the guidance of the Brethren, made scrupulous audits of the said families to ensure that they would contribute to the general well being of the venture.
On the fifteenth of April sixteen hundred and seven , the Argosies set forth upon the Mersey, bound for the New World , fifteen families were numbered aboard those vessels, comprising fifty two souls. The crews would be returning with any prizes that might be found ,gold was rumoured to be underfoot but no credence was placed upon this sailors tale. Our intrepid pioneers were charged to make a township on the shores of this unknown coast, to find furs and timbers, to make a plantation and to bring forth the fruits of this new land to enrich the backers of this venture.

Their voyage to the New World was one that took great toll upon their number, mal de mer caused a half dozen children to die. The constant retching and the inability to take sustenance caused their little bodies to fade to naught. The constant tossing and turning of the vessels caused two souls to seek solace in the depths of the sea.
The overwhelming relief of the sight of land brought great joy to all aboard the fleet. On the twenty first of July landfall was made at the mouth of a river that later became called The Catawber ,after the name of the tribe that inhabited its banks..

White men were not unknown to the Catawbers, the Portugese had fished these waters for a century or more and had traded with the different tribes along the coast. It was here that they caught the cod ,or bacalhau as they termed it. They would dry it on the American shores and had good relations with these Red men.
As such , our Portugese seamen were able to give us some knowledge of our new neighbours. They had advised our masters of the trade goods we should take to make overtures to the tribes, metal goods we had in plenty. We did not wish to suffer the problems that had befallen previous expeditions.
So ,our prospects for good fortune augured well, the elders of the Catawber tribe welcomed us and made a great feast in celebration of our arrival ;many gifts were exchanged and we began our preparations for the creation of a New Garston with the coming of a new dawn.
As we went to our slumbers our children remarked upon how much bigger the sky seemed in this new land.

Jeff Glasser
01-25-2009, 12:52 PM
It will also be noted that due to his exemplary work as Tiger and saviour to that maritime rogue and sot, Captain Aspinall, young Glasser has been requested to sign on as Tiger to the young Captain Julian Aspinal, a devout follower of the Temperence beliefs.
Also in his favour is young Glasser's knowledge of steam engines, gathered whilst working ashore between ships, in the 'Wang Kong' Chinese laundry in old Lime House, one of the more seedy areas of old London town, an area where he oft had to go to retrieve the old Captain Aspinal when he would frequent the Opium dens that were to be found there.

captain kong
01-25-2009, 04:24 PM
I well remember that horrific voyage on the steam ship `Garstonia`.
The engines operated by steam from the boilers. I was engaged as Fireman watertender,. I am a decendent of Michael de Aspin, despatched in a horrible manner by one Jeffery de Glasse in the 17th century, I had fallen on hard times and the other distant relative, Julian, a decendent of Baron de Aspin, who ordered the termination of Michael , felt sorry for me and offered me a position on the `Garstonia`.
I was shovelling coal into fearsome furnaces, running back and forth to the coal bunkers, filling the barrow and running back to the plates then feed the ever hungry fires. I was working four hours on and four hours off with little sleep in the off periods. To make matters worse, the Second Engineer, a bully with a big iron fist, was driving us continously without a break.
One day in mid Atlantic, one of us Firemen broke down with the constant harrassment and bullying, and then he snapped. He swung his banjo, [shovel ], and smashed in the head of the bullying Second Engineer. We were shocked at this happening, and had to decide what we were going to do.
If the Master had found out we would all have been charged with murder on the High Seas and then would be dancing on the end of a rope.
It was decided to feed him into the furnace that he wanted feeding, we picked him up and fed him feet first into the fires and there he was quickly consumed.
We all swore that we had never seen him during the watch and it was presumed that he may have fallen overboard.
At the end of the watch we raked and sliced to make sure the bones were broken up and then discharged overboard in the Ash Can.
That voyage gave me nightmares for many years after.
Michael Aspin

Jeff Glasser
01-25-2009, 05:05 PM
Oh yes, what a voyage that was! Little did you know that I was privvy to you and your fellow engine room cohorts' terrible deed concerning the demise of that scurrilous swine of a second engineer. You should be aware that a good steward always knows of gossip doing the rounds, and if none was known, could be sure to make some up!
Captain Julian was first alerted to something being amiss, when the 'Garstonia' surged ahead to a bulkhead splitting speed of three knots. Calls where made immediately to the engine room as to where the sudden increase in power could have come from, The Chief engineer being on duty, could offer no explanation, but I, lurking in the shadows of the bridge with cocoa for his Sirness, knew that it was at the very same moment that the second engineers lifeless body was fed into the ravenous glowing maw of the furnace. I guessed that the 2nd Engineer's body was, as usual, 95% rum. It would have been this that caused the awesome burst of energy.
As you say, it was presumed that he had fallen overboard whilst under the influence of that which the Captain hated most, the dreaded alchohol.
Captain Julian never persued the matter, feeling that the drunken swine had got his come uppence, and I felt it best kept to myself to be used later as some form of blackmail.

captain kong
01-27-2009, 05:33 PM
After the disposal of the Second Engineer the Third took over the running of the stoke hold. He tried to be as bad and as tough as The Second. He ddid not know the fate of the Second, so after a few bad watches under his bullying, Coalhouse Kelly got a grip of him and lashed him to a stantion facing the furnaces and left him for the complete four hours of the watch, He was screaming for the heat was too much for him, he wanted water, no chance, he would never give us time off for water, let him know what it was like in front of the furnaces for four hours. At the end of the watch we released him and he collapsed, we carried him up on deck and he died due to the dehydration, The Captain not knowing what had happened, thought he must have had a heart attack or something. and logged it as such , The Captain praised us for our efforts to get him up from down below. He was given over to the Sailors and they stitched him up in canvas with a couple of fire bars in to keep him company and to weigh him down in the sea, so he would not return.
We had a mournful service on the poop, read by the Captain, Julian Aspinall, and then he was slid over the stern and disappeared in a trail of bubbles. Two down.
The Chief Steward, Mr. Kinghorn, could be next if he did`nt come up with some proper victuals, After three days at sea we were on our Pound and Pint, as per Merchant Shipping Act 1844, All we got was 6 ounces of salt junk, per man, per day, perhaps, and 6 ounces of brackish water, per man, per day, perhaps.
We had to call in at the Azores, to get fresh water, stores and more coalbunkers.
The crowd went ashore and found a tavern with some old wenches who were long past the bloom of youth, they were made use of as a way of relieving the tension of the voyage so far.

brian daley
01-27-2009, 05:51 PM
Look,what does it take to stop the characters writing their own story?
Now if you bits of fiction don't stop jigging around with this tale ,I'm gonna have to get a big rubber and............................................... ...........
I have to pick up where I left off and I ain't about to be side tracked so step aside or be erased.
The Author

P.S. Did you read that tale where the characters come in search of the author to wreak their revenge on being written so badly.I forget the title but it was quite a spooky tale. Hmmmmm, could write one about the author bumping off his characters.Now there's an idea!!

01-27-2009, 06:06 PM
Tried erasing it for you, Brian, but I've now got so much tipex on my screen I can't see a feckin thing!

captain kong
01-27-2009, 07:45 PM
Now I believe a certain Mr Twize Daley is Third Mate on this `ere vessel,
I think he had better look over his shoulder on this voyage, its not over yet

brian daley
01-27-2009, 09:09 PM
New Garston

22nd July 1607
We were awakened by the sound birdsong ,so loud and tuneful that it seemed to be unworldly. This truly was a heaven sent morn, as the families emerged from their makeshift shelters we found a bounteous array of fruits and fowl that lay upon great bark sheets. A further gift from our new neighbours?
Our leader ,Jonathan Heald , summoned us together and called for us to give thanks to our maker for delivering us into a land so friendly and full of welcome.
After we broke our fast the Elders sat in council and made plans for the building of our new town , our trade goods would enable us to negotiate with the Catawba for food and timber, we were conversant enough with the propriety of the customs of these people for our Portugese pilot had versed us in all such matters on our voyage here. These people were not a warlike race ,they were farmers and lived in settlements of great age. The name they give themselves is Yeh-Wah h?reh ,the People of the River.
We have so much in common, the shore of their river is rich in clay and they are traders in that very commodity. Like our shore at home ,they have kilns upon it and there they fire pottery of such consummate artistry that it would grace the tableboard of any gentlemans home.
Strange to relate ,they do not build their houses of brick, but of wood which is plentiful.The houses are round and have bark roofs extended families live in each dwelling and a palisade fence encloses the settlement.
At the centre of the settlement is a large plaza and this is used for tribal celebrations and the games that the men play,a kind of stickball.
The ideas of savages are dispelled with each passing hour ,these people are clothed and shod in wonderful manner. The men in breeches and jerkins of colourfully patterned hide,their feet are enclosed in hardy leathern shoes. The womenfolk are similarly attired and nary a beggar nor starvling was to be seen. We have a lot to learn here..
Those of us Brethren who are here as settlers are determined to to marry our knowledge with theirs to the enrichment of both our peoples.

With the aid of our Catawban speaking pilot ,we made arrangement for a meeting of our Elders and their Elders to draw up a treaty to mark out our settlement. I was not privy to this meeting and worked with the rest of our menfolk at unloading those stores necessary to commence work at building structures of a permanent nature. Our shipmen were to bide with us the while until we had made quarters for all of the families. When that outcome would be depended upon any agreements that could be struck with the Catawba.
The council lasted many hours and night had fallen before Bro,Heald brought the Elders back into our midst. The tidings they brought were joyful, the Catawba granted us land from the seashore to 10 miles in radius from our point of landing. This was more than we could ever have hoped for and the morrow would be spent in surveying our new land so that it could be parcelled out into equitable plots for living and farming.
As we went our slumbers we were filled with such dreams , what futures our children would have in this land of milk and honey!

21st July 1612.
We had our craftsmen in our number,carpenters ,wainwrights , wheelwrights , potters , bakers, brickmakers , and all manner of handicraftsmen. As soon as the allotments of land had been made we would set to in a communal spirit ,all would labour at the building of our homes. We would be building to designs that that had been drawn up by the master builders in our hometown. There would be no hovels in this Eden, there was space a plenty for us to house ourselves so that each family could grow enough for provender to meet family needs and that of the community.. We had our seeds but there was also the native provender that would meet our needs and then some.
The parcels of land were allotted to families according to their ability to manage them . Large families were given bigger tracts and so on .None were disappointed. Industry would be our watchword and Mistress Heald designed a coat of arms which was a beehive resting on a stack of bricks under which was the legend Industria . This was to be our watchword, we would earn our bread by the sweat of brow for many years to come.

We had many people in our settlement now, families had rapidly multiplied and many of our kinfolk from home had joined us now. The Catawba were still our friends but had engaged themselves in war with fierce peoples called Cherokee,Iriquois and Shawnee. We were glad that they were our friends for we heard from travellers of how those other tribes made war on our compatriots in other parts of this great continent.
We had built a harbour at the river front, it was a poor rude affair ,but as the years have passed we have made constant improvements so that we can now accommodate two large vessels at the same time for the shipment of imports and exports. We have warehouses along the embankment and we have been trading in tobacco and furs as well as the rich timber in which this land abounds.
As you stroll up from the waterfront you pass the ships chandlers,the sail lofts, the block and tackle manufacturer ,and all those allied craft shops that are needed to keep our merchantmen in good repair and our fishing fleet fit for he worst of weathers. We have the occasional Dutchman or Frenchie come asheltering from the hurricanes that sometimes blow, but ,for the most part our sojourn has been placid.
We have our own grouping of the Brethren here, our Master is of the Keegan blood and is of very great age, how old is not known,but he has seen many years more than is mans natural span. The medicinal properties of the Oglet clay are said to be his saving . This knowledge is known only to very few. The Catawba view him as one with ages, a man of no time, they venerate him.
I must cease my scribing for I hear horsemen approaching and the hour is late.

Jeff Glasser
01-28-2009, 03:35 PM
Sorry about nicking your story space Brian, but alehouse and I get bored if you do'nt continue the tale quick enough!

See what happens when you take your eye off the ball. I have little sympathy, for it was brought on, by your own admission, due to your pigging out over the New Year.
Anyway, alehouse started it!

captain kong
01-28-2009, 04:35 PM
What a tell tale tit you are.Jeff. I will see you off on that voyage, done two engineers already. your next. Or maybe you`ll hang.

brian daley
01-28-2009, 04:51 PM
Eh kid ,I'm still pigging it ,had another two invitation today and then next week I've got the 40th celebrations to look for ward to. But,but ,but , I an still continuing with my tale, the plot will get deeper and there will many Byzantian twists.Bear with me ,any way you and the Cap'n have got a wonderful rapport going and I think you could create a tale of your own capers between you. "The Captain and the Tiger" A libidinous tale of Debauchery on the High Seas..................................go on you can do it!!!

captain kong
01-28-2009, 08:58 PM
We were carousing in the Tavern, letting off steam, if that is the correct word to use, being Firemen, on St Migual Island in the Azores, when we noticed a man sat quivering and shaking with a bottle of grog in his hand. We went to him, ?What`s up Mate? we asked.
He was as drunk as a monkey, he said his name was Kay Evin, an Engineer, he was the only survivor of a Harrison boat that had sunk and he had drifted for six days before being found by the local fishermen. He wanted to go home, we told him there would be a job on the Garstonian as we had somehow lost two engineers.
In the early hours we all staggered back to our ship and told Captain Julian what we had found. He signed him on immediately, The first thing that Kay Evin said was, ?Can I have a sub?. "No chance, now sober up, we are away in the morning.? Said our Captain.
In the early hours we completed bunkering, the native labour going ashore, the fresh water tanks full, and the Chief Steward had loaded fresh stores. Then we fed the furnaces and got up steam, 180 psi. and sailed again.
Things didn?t seem any better in the victuals department. We heard that as fast as stores came on board, our Assistant Steward, a shifty character, called Geof Glasse, was passing it over the other side to a bum boat and collected a quite a few pounds for it. No one liked him, he was always lurking and listening at cabin doors, and had a very untrustworthy manner. He was always telling tales to the Captain if he heard any thing the lads were talking about in the mess room.
On making enquiries about the amount of stores in the store rooms, The Captain summoned the Chief Steward, Mr Kinghorn and the ship`s Cook, Ernest Norris Green. They told him the stores were loaded in St. Migual and checked as it came up the gangway, Mr Glasse was in charge of stowing it in the Store rooms. So it must have been him who knew the where abouts of the said stores.
Mr Glasse was summoned to the Master`s cabin and in front of the Chief Officer, Chief Steward, and the Cook he finally confessed to selling the stores to the bum boat.The Captain logged him and he was told he would have to pay for all the missing stores and then face prosecution on arrival in Liverpool.
One day the Third Mate, Mr Twize Daley, went to the Captain`s cabin, just after breakfast and found him on his hands and knees vomiting into a bucket. The Assistant Steward was lurking in the pantry, doing nothing to help the Captain.
He went to the Chief Officer`s cabin for assistance and Mr Brewer was in a collapsed state having vomited all over his carpet. He gave them a tot of brandy to revive them but to no avail. They both expired. Both bodies were transferred to the refridgerated hold to be kept until arrival in Buenos Aires.
Mr Twyze Daley and Mr Wilfred Liverbob did a superb job of navigating the Garstonia to Buenos Aires, The British Consul was immediately summoned to the vessel and all the details given to him.
Our stay in the Argentine was not a jolly one, a funeral had to be arranged through the agent, and all hands assembled at the gravesides. Then after loading a cargo of frozen Argentine Beef and made ready for sea, the Consul arrived with a British Sea Captain who had been living ashore in Buenos Aires, to help to take the ship on its long voyage back to Liverpool.

The murder of the Captain and Chief Officer of the S.S. GARSTONIA.
Daily Telegrph, Monday April 13th 1850
The Murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and Chief Officer Mr R. Brewer on the high seas
In accordance with the instructions of the Board of Trade, Geoffrey Glasse, Assistant Steward on board the ship Garstonia, was examined before the Sefton Borough Magistrates charged with the wilful murder of Capt Julian Aspinall, and Mr R. Brewer, Chief Officer of the ship, by poison.
The Garstonian was on the way to, the Argentine port of Buenos Aires, with some five passengers and a cargo of `Gerston Mud` in barrels, on the voyage the Captain and Chief Officer died from the effects of poison.
The ship put into Buenos Aires and Her Majesty?s Consul decided to send Glasse back to England, on board the Garstonia, in irons, to be charged with the wilful murder of the Captain and Chief Officer
First witness called was Mr, Twize Daley, the Third Mate,of the ship, who said that during the voyage the Captain was very good to the men and frequently saw to their conditions and victuals.. The Captain and Chief Officer died on Thursday 21st of December 1849
He told the Court that on the Saturday previous to the deaths, a pig died in an unusual manner, and on that day I saw the prisoner Mr Glasse the steward in the pig-sty feeding the pig
Mr Daley said he went to the Chief Officer?s cabin and he was sat at the head of the bed vomiting, Mr Glasse was lurking the pantry next door to the cabin. I asked the him what was wrong with the Chief Officer.
He said, ?I do not know, but you will hear about it in time.?
I went for a bottle of brandy and when I returned I saw the Chief officer on the floor of the closet, he looked very ill. I assisted to get him back to his cabin and laid him on his bed, he did not speak.. I administered a tot of brandy to him.
Mr Brewer then seemed well enough, but soon after he was laid down again. . He also started to vomit to some extent again and then he expired.
I went to the Captains cabin and he was on his knees vomiting into a bucket. He was exceedingly ill and weak I tried to get him into his bunk but he fell back and was dead.

On Wednesday 14th Nov, the ships Cook, Mr Ernest Norris Green, said he cooked the breakfast, a pan of Scouse. and laid some out for the Captain?s cabin, and said, he gave the prisoner, Mr Glasse, the breakfast to take to the Captain`s cabin.about 8.00 am. I was called away and when I returned I found the prisoner there.in the galley again. He was going to take a breakfast to Mr Brewer`s cabin.
I noticed nothing particular in his manner. When breakfast was ready the prisoner took it to the Chief Officer`s cabin.
The ?Scouse? was in a saucepan, and could easily be got at.
The prisoner, Mr Glasse, came to me about 10am and appeared rather confused.
I said, ?What is the matter?
He said, ?No, it is all right.?
That afternoon after the deaths of the Captain and the Chief Officer, Mr Glasse was placed under arrest by Mr Twyce Daley, the Third Officer and charged with poisoning them. The poison had been tested first on the pig in the pig sty.
On the following investigation, it was shown that Mr Glasse had been accused by the Captain and the Chief Officer of selling the ship`s stores to the Bum boats in St Migual in the Azores. He was severely reprimanded and the moneys for the stores were to be deducted from his wages and a prosecution to be made on arrival at Liverpool.
Other witnesses were called and confirmed the above facts
Witnesses, ship?s crew
Joe Finnegan of Liverpool AB
Martin Quinne of Liverpool AB
Tom Black apprentice
Ernest Taylor of Wigan quartermaster
Harry Brown.Boatswain

The case then proceeded
April 14th 1850
The Jury brought in a verdict of guilty, to the murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and the Chief Officer, Mr R, Brewer, by poisoning, to cover up his accusations of stealing the said Stores.
The Judge, Mr Justice Fairley, donned his black cap and said to the prisoner .?You will be taken to a place of execution and will be hanged by the neck until you are dead?.
On the 21st of April, Mr Glasse was taken out of his cell in the Bridewell and taken to the holding cell by the scaffold in the street outside of Kirkdale Prison,,a crowd of some 50,000 people had assembled to watch the demise of this man. A carnival atmosphere was in the air, women and children were there, a popular song was heard by the condemned man as he shivered in the holding cell at 1130.
As the hour of twelve noon struck, oathes of d*mnation were shouted from the assembled crowd as he was brought out in between two priests, his face twitching, his lips moving but not a sound was uttered. He was pushed up the steps and he screamed ?Innocent I am Innocent, Holy Mother help me?. The Executioner, Mr Howard, placed the noose over his head and a white cloth over his face. The lever is pulled and Geoffery Glasse drops to his death. He twitches for a moment and then hangs limp, the cloth had been pulled away and his tongue hangs loosely from his mouth. The crowd slowly drift away, the carnival is over. Justice was seen to be done.

By a strange twist of fate, Geoffrey Glasse was a decendant of Jeffery de Glasse who was hired by the ancester of Julian Apinall, the Baron de Aspin, to take the life of my ancester, Michael de Aspin, exactly two hundred years ago.
Revenge at last.
Michael Aspinall.

Jeff Glasser
01-29-2009, 12:55 PM
There was a strange twist to this tale, which was hushed up by the authorities of the time, due to the possibility of great embaressment to those responsible with the security arrangements in Kirkdale prison.
It seems that the ever resourseful Glasser had, whilst having a last sup of grog with his jailer, slipped a potion made from Garston mud that he had secreted about himself, into the guards pot this would normally have done no harm to the unfortunate jailer, but Glasser knew that if mixed with rat droppings and a drop of the poor quality grog, it would induce a hypnotic trance like state.
As soon as the poor fellow became incapacitated, Glasser slipped onto his face a mask fashioned skillfully in his own image from a mixture of straw,three day old gruel, and chewed newspaper cuttings. By vomiting over the jailers new face, Glasser new no one would wish to check too closely the identity of the wearer underneath.
As the time of his execution was only minutes away, Glasser,snatched the keys, unlocked the door of his cell, and made his escape, though not before callousely merging with the crowd outside to see the poor jailer hang in his place.
Only when the body was taken to the morgue was the terrible deed revealed.
Once again, the devious Jeffrey Glasser had outwitted those who had seeked to destroy him.
Having had time to reflect whilst in prison, he realised he had met a clever adversary in this Aspinall fellow, and decided that he would approach him with a plan that if they worked together, the world was their oyster!

captain kong
01-29-2009, 01:07 PM

Jeff Glasser
01-29-2009, 03:28 PM
Well, maybe not!

captain kong
01-29-2009, 08:31 PM
Drat and double Drat, I am going to have to find some more of Michaels Journals from way back. He will get you in the end. You have no chance.

Jeff Glasser
01-29-2009, 08:47 PM
Curses alehouse, you may have foiled my plans for World domination today, but don't under estimate we Glassers, for as you are aware, over the centuries we've managed, through devious and double dealing ways, survived to this day. There is still time to join forces but if you choose to stay an adversary, then beware. We will turn up at the most inoppurtune moments in all your tales. So there!

brian daley
01-29-2009, 09:21 PM
Beware of Plagiarists and Lousy Imitators

New Hayes Hospital 1999

Mr Keegan took a turn for the worse a little after sunrise, I called the duty doctor and he ordered that he be removed to the special care unit. Fortunately ,I was given the task of taking care of his few belongings and so packed away his brass bound casket into a locker in the staff quarters . I removed all the papers ,including the crumpled items ,which were old letters and news cuttings.
I determined that I would sort everything into date order so that I could understand more clearly that which I had been reading. I had three days leave due and would use them to discover what secrets might lie within those pages. And those pages were in a really sorry state.. Fire and age had caused most damage, there were great gaps in the chronology and some papers had been badly charred so that big pieces were missing from them. I made my first task that of sorting out the news clippings. Most of them dated from the August of 1898, there were reports of the Garston Fruit Companys? new vessel The Garstonia , photographs of her entering the new dock at Garston and of the Captain on the wing of the bridge were shown alongside the story of her building and of her intended purpose in extending the GFC?s service on the South American continent. Other reports detailed the unrest that was being fomented by troublemakers from Liverpool, the dockers of that port were in dispute with their employers and had withdrawn their labour. Attempts were made to bring out the dockers in Garston to join them in their strike but the men of Garston declared that they had no cause to withdraw their labour. Successive reports showed the growth of unrest around the dock entrances as troublemakers sought to intimidate the local men from going about their labours.
More men were brought down from Liverpool and major fighting broke out between the strikers and the loyal dockers .On the night of the fourteenth of August a great conflagration was started in the north dock and this rapidly spread throughout the whole dock complex. The militia were called out to assist the Police in fighting the Liverpool hooligans as the fire took a hold on the riverside.. Only two ships managed to escape the holocaust, a small collier and a yardarm. ketch . Three vessel were so badly damaged that they would never put to sea again , they were the Mudskipper, the Alfreton, a square rigger ,and the new wonder ship ,the Garstonia.
Most of the warehouses were destroyed and a great many lives were lost in the attempt to stem the blaze. There were some reports of the funerals of those who were lost in the fire and of the memorial service that was held for the mariners who had lost their lives whilst trying to save their vessels. The newly commissioned Captain of the Garstonia , Julian Aspinall and his faithful servant Mr Glasser were given special mention by the Bishop of Garston as being ?Heroes, the very best of British blood, they died in the battle against the dark forces??.?
Upon a closer reading of these items I found that the striking dockers were being held to blame for the inferno; the Chief Constable of Garston , Mr Ballack, was of the opinion that the whole dispute was engineered by Liverpool shipowners who sought to destroy the port of Garston because of the threat she presented to them.
There was great ill feeling in the borough towards their, now , larger neighbour.
There were letters to the editor lamenting the loss of such a fine vessel as the Garstonia and of what fine tales cold have been told by the men who would have sailed in her had she made it to sea..
After sorting these clippings I then gave my attention to the Journal of Kerrigan J Keegan , from the scattered information in the torn and tattered pages I was able to ascertain that he was initiated into the Order of Mudmen in the January of 1899, within a short while he had graduated into one of the senior degrees and was thus made privy to some of their innermost secrets.
The initiation ceremonies and induction into the senior degrees were undertaken in the hidden cellars of the old Cathedral , a site that had long disappeared beneath the mighty new gasworks.
He writes of a secret gate in the perimeter wall of the Gasworks and trap door that was artfully disguised within the plant, steps led down to the old Lodge rooms and therein still stood the Golem.
The Grand Master of the Mudmen ,a man of unknown age , lived down there permanently and never ascended to the surface. He lived in an inner chamber and never appeared with his face unmasked. He never spoke in their presence and an Orator conveyed all messages and communications from him to the Brethren. But his word was Law. The great chemical works in Garston now manufactured the medicines and cosmetics that were obtained from our mud and Garston was now predominant in that field.. By the turn of the 19th century ,both Garston and the Brethren were at their peak, the Liberal Arts and Sciences , Music , Drama and Terpsichorean endeavours were pursued by all and sundry within our great Borough. The Dockers Ballet Corps was drawing great plaudits from the cognescenti, the Mary Ellens dance troupe was now on its third tour of England and the Woodcutters Orchestra was drawing up a programme to draw all the different strands of music and dance together for the celebration of Queen Victorias Diamond Jubilee.
The documents have become easier to read now that I have put them in proper chronological order and I will pick up the journal from where Kerrigan was copying from the earlier writings of the first settlers in the New World.
Summer 1999.

01-30-2009, 12:12 AM
That "Garston Mud"!, seems to getting more "Potent" with every new batch that is being "brewe(r)d" !!!!

Bob F :002: :PDT_Aliboronz_24: :PDT_Aliboronz_24:

Jeff Glasser
01-30-2009, 05:36 PM
Veeery clever, Brian, Ha! but you don't get rid of us that easy. It was mentioned later after the enquiry, that one of the dock workers helping to extinguish the inferno that the 'Garstonian' had become, noticed what appeared to be two crew members, one wearing a distinctive striped waistcoat and spectacles, the other dressed in the attire of a ships fireman, diving over the stern into the dock, surfacing a short distance later and swimming towards the opposite side of the dock, whereupon they dissappeared into the darkness.

brian daley
01-30-2009, 08:24 PM
It was noted and acted upon,the said pair went off in search of their lost crew mate Paddy and were last seen heading for South Georgia on the "Orca" an old Norwegian whaler.Only you, or your old captain can fill in the gaps. Did you find Paddy or was he taken by the flesh eaters of Bora Bora . Did captain Aspinall realise what his Tiger really meant to him and take him by the tail? Is there life on Cilla Black? Please tell us what happened afterwards!

captain kong
01-30-2009, 09:35 PM
I am thinking.
I am thinking
I am thinking.

brian daley
01-30-2009, 10:42 PM
Well would you mind not making so much noise while you're doing it,some of us have got to sleep you know!!!

Jeff Glasser
01-31-2009, 08:11 PM
I too have been thinking, but of course in a silent and sneaky underhand way!

Set us a bit of a poser there Brian, but do'nt worry, as soon as we can remember how the tale continues, you'll be the first to know.

There was'nt life on Cilla before, so I see no reason for there to be any now!

captain kong
01-31-2009, 08:42 PM
I too am thinking, there maybe a plan, or there may be not.
The only life on cilla maybe the sandys.

Jeff Glasser
01-31-2009, 08:44 PM
Not with those teeth

brian daley
02-01-2009, 12:42 AM
The Skull and Crossed Bones

I picked up the following document by Kerrigan J. Keegan and it carries on the transcription of the 17th century document written in New Garston; it would seem that there are several pages missing for this picks up the thread a month after the passage which mentions the horsemen approaching the house . The page is badly charred and I will set it down as written.

?????????the ships were seen to be flying the black ensigns which had skull and crossed bones in the centre. We had never seen the like of which before and knew not whence they came. They were sturdy ,two masted vessels which had gun ports along the sides, but they looked like no men of war that we had seen. Where were they from and what were they doing here, there were no storms that they needed shelter from and we were not expecting any cargoes just yet. Some thought they were merchant venturers come to seek to trade with us, others were puzzled as to why they had anchored off and not sought to make contact with us.
One of the Catawban elders who was in town with his furs looked out and said they were Buccan, when he was asked what Buccan was he cut his right hand across his throat and spat upon the ground. Almost simultaneously ,the gunports dropped open and a salvo was fired ,falling just short of the waterfront ,long boats appeared from around the bows of both ships and were pulling toward the shore at a rate of knots.
We were not warriors ,never in all our time here had we needed to fire our muskets excepting for hunting food. We never carried our arms , there was never the need and yet here we were, faced with mortal peril and unable to defend ourselves. Young John Savage ran toward his house to gather his musket and was cut down by a well aimed volley from one of the long boats as it neared the shore.
We stood defenceless as these Buccans came ashore. They were speaking some form of crude French which one of our fur traders recognised, they were ordering us to gather in the square by the waterfront , more boats came to the shore and there many men ,armed to the teeth with pistoles ,muskets and cutlasses .A more fearsome sight you would never wish to see. The Catawban had made haste from our midst before the first shot was fired and it transpired that he had given warning to the people at the further reaches of town to leave quickly and follow him. They were the lucky ones.
These roughnecks ranged through our town looting and taking that which struck their fancy; there was no more killing ,John Savage was the only casualty. But what happened was, perhaps e?en worse. They selected the flower of our women and took them to their boats, some young men too were taken, to labour as slaves ?
Their leader was a tall red haired man with plaited whiskers and a fearsome mien, who wore the finest brocaded frock coat and a silken ruffed shirt ,on his head was a tricorn hat with the finest boas . Were it not for his face you would take him for a fop. It was the medallion upon his satin weskit that attracted the attention of the Brethren, it was a Templar medallion, cast in gold ,it clearly showed the two poor knights astride the one horse. How could this be? Here ,three thousand miles from Scotland and Garston,the only two known refuges of the Templars, yet we were being subjected to looting ,pillage and kidnapping by some who wore this ancient badge of honour.
Their visitation lasted but the half day and soon they were gone with our young ladies , the future mothers of our settlement, and some of our young men. This was a grievous loss. It was but a few hours after the raiders had sailed that our Catawban friends rode into town ,ready to give battle on our behalf. They consoled us over our loss and urged us to make ready for any future such raids. Our life in Eden was at an end, we must make ourselves strong if we are to survive. Accordingly ,a rider was despatched to Jamestown to give news of what had befallen us and warning of what might happen to them. Intelligence was also to be sent to our home in Garston with as much information of the raiders as was known to us..

It was many months before we received any news back from Garston, more young ladies came out to join us on the next ship from home. They were undeterred by the intelligence of the raid and were only too willing to join us in our little commonweal. That ship also brought news that Letters of Marque had been granted to two of our Templar friends , Messrs Aspinall and Brewer. They were charged to seek out and destroy the Buccans who had made that dastardly raid upon our settlement and given leave to plunder all who were considered to be enemies of our Sovereign King..
In the meanwhile ,one of our Brethren conducted researches into the provenance of these Buccans. There was a colony of such persons on the Island of Santo Domingo and they had first settled there many centuries ago ,they were called the Boucans because of their cooking of meat upon spits above fires. They were wild rovers and were considered by all nations to be pariahs, but our Brother knew different. The flag they were flying was called by some, the Jolie Roger, a scholar would recognise it as the Templar Piebald, the flag flown on all Templar Merchant vessels .A flag that had not been seen in European waters for two centuries or more.
It is recorded in the annals of history that Templars were put to the fire and the sword when the Pope and the King of France deemed them to be too strong, it is known that De Molay and his brethren perished by the auto da fe and that Templardom was finished with his surcease.
What is little known, is that from La Rochelle ,the bastion of the Templars ,thirteen ships succeeded in escaping from the clutches of Pipin .Five vessels escaped to Lisbon where King Dinis gave sanctuary to them as long as they ceased calling themselves Templars ;they renamed themselves the Knights Of Christ and went on to sow the seeds of Portugals maritime dominance. Five vessels went to Scotland and were given sanctuary by the Bruces ,they provided the armed might that helped them beat Edward Ironsides ; some fled to Garston where they helped build up our merchant fleet and the others? They were those who called themselves The Brethren of the Coast, the Buccaneers!

captain kong
02-01-2009, 09:33 AM
The man on the dock shouted,"Where`s your Buccaneers?
and the messman, Jeff Glasse, shouted back, "They are on me Buccanhead."

02-02-2009, 12:14 PM
fascinating potty tales.

What news of bosun gesunder?

captain kong
02-02-2009, 09:53 PM
from the diary of Mr Keegan
More men were brought down from Liverpool and major fighting broke out between the strikers and the loyal Dockers .On the night of the fourteenth of August a great conflagration was started in the north dock and this rapidly spread throughout the whole dock complex. The militia were called out to assist the Police in fighting the Liverpool hooligans as the fire took a hold on the riverside. Only two ships managed to escape the holocaust, a small collier and a yardarm. Ketch. Three vessel were so badly damaged that they would never put to sea again , they were the Mudskipper, the Alfreton, a square rigger ,and the new wonder ship ,the Garstonia.
Most of the warehouses were destroyed and a great many lives were lost in the attempt to stem the blaze. There were some reports of the funerals of those who were lost in the fire and of the memorial service that was held for the mariners who had lost their lives whilst trying to save their vessels. The newly commissioned Captain of the Garstonia , Julian Aspinall and his faithful servant Mr Glasser were given special mention by the Bishop of Garston as being ?Heroes, the very best of British blood, they died in the battle against the dark forces??.?

On the night of 14 August 1898, Captain Julian Aspinall had been watching his Steward, one Jef Glasse, a strange fellow of doubtful parentage.He was an usavoury type of person, always lurking in alleyways and store rooms. The good Captain investigated him and made a remarkable discovery.
This Jef Glasse was a son of a man also by the name of Jef Glasse who was executed by hanging for the murder of his own father, Captain Julian Aspinall in 1849, nearly forty years ago. Rumour had it, this scheming murderer had exchanged clothes with his prison guard, whilst under the influence of his last bottle of Rum and the poor prison guard was executed in his place. This event was covered up by HMP authorities to avoid embarrassment.
Just as he suspected, as Captain Julian Aspinall was following the said Glasse around the ship, Glasse ignited various incendary devices. The ship became a raging inferno, which spread to the adjoining cargo sheds and most of Garston Dock was burned down, and the new wonder ship, `Garstonia 2`, was destroyed. In the ensuing destruction Jeff Glasse dived overboard into the dock, he was observed by the good Captain who dived in after him. Glasse disappeared in all the confusion and Captain Julian swam around the dock for quite a while trying to find him but to no avail.
The Captain now had a dilemma, if it was known that the Captain had survived then Glasse would know he would be on his trail to avenge his father`s death and the destruction of his new ship, `Garstonia 2` But if he thought the Captain was dead then he could carry on with his nefarious ways.unhampered by the Captain.
The Captain decided on the latter and had to change his name. He became known as Captain King and vowed to search the seven seas for the Glasse.

brian daley
02-03-2009, 10:24 PM

Near 12 month had passed since the raid by the Buccaneers, the sore pain of distress and anger was fading and was being replaced by sad acceptance that our loved ones may not be seen again. When our morale was at its lowest , two stately galleons came into port, large pennants at the fore and the flag of our old country the stern. First to dock was the St Mary ,a ship of war ,with gun ports the full length of her ,following came the twin of her, the Holy Trinity. Never was a sight more welcome for not only did they bring us news of home, they brought us soldier men and a veritable arsenal. This would help us to defend ourselves at some future incursion ;the real purpose of the visitation however was to seek as much intelligence from us about the nature of the raiders, the build of their ship ,and any other factors that might help our captains in the search for the villains that nigh on ruined our settlement.
Two captains were not only out for revenge, they were out to enrich their own estate by seeking what plunder they could whilst over in the Americas. Legend has it that there are many Spanish merchants that carry great treasures from the territories to the south. Messrs Aspinall and Brewer have come well prepared to put those legends to the test.
After many days of refitting and revictualling , the good ships set sail from New Garston in search of the Buccaneers. The quayside was thronged with the people of the town , wishing them God speed and prayers that they would bring the return of our loved ones .
When they had disappeared over the horizon our new militia went about setting up defences against any future raiders. Towers were built on the sea front ,there would be watches kept there day and night ,not a sail would pass unnoticed upon our horizons.
Manufacture of weaponry was instituted ; amongst our soldiery was a gunsmith with all the requisite paraphernalia for the making of pistols and muskets. A specialist metal worker was also among their number and he would oversee the training of our young men in the art of metallurgy . soon we would be self reliant in building up our own arsenal.
Our industry in the building of our defences began to restore our confidence, the Catawbans , witnessing such changes , became more closely allied with us and pledged to help us in defending us against any attack from the land ward side of our town.
Two harvests were reaped before we saw the return of the St Mary and Holy Trinity, they docked in 1620, just after the feast of Candlemas, they we bedecked in bunting and all manner of pennants and there ,at the top of their foremasts, flew the dreaded
Flag of the Skull and Crossed Bones.
We were anxious in the extreme of what this display could mean, but our anxieties were dispelled when we heard the cries of familiar voices and saw some of our loved ones waving from the taffrails. Oh ,there was such a jubilation at this wonderful sight and boys were despatched to the nether reaches of our town to spread the joyful tidings. The church bells were pealing out a tocsin of praise to the heavens and our wharfingers worked at speed to make those vessels fast to the quay.
Hearts were aflutter to watch our returnees step ashore, was our daughter ,our son or wife amongst them? Such trepidation there was at that moment, and then there were explosions of tumultuous joy as arms reached out and held those dear ones again.
Slowly ,as the crowds edged away from the waterfront to take their saved ones home again, the sad figures of those who would never see their kin again stood in lonely desolation, their worst fears now realised.
There were not words enough to express what we felt for them, such sorrow after so much joy.
I went aboard to meet the Captains and to extend the hand of grateful welcome, the Brethren were going to organise a feast of gratitude and we wished that whole crew would join in our celebration of their exploits. Mr Brewer and Mr Aspinall readily accepted my invitation for them to dwell under my roof for the duration of their stay. I was mightily pleased for I was eager to hear of what adventures they had undergone since last we saw them.
I arranged for them to brought to my house by carriage, my good wife Suzanne had laid stores in for such an occasion and I had saved a firkin of my finest Malmsey, and a moistened box of the finest Catawban tobacco,our churchwardens would smoke merrily this night.
After a meal of the finest provender that New Garston could offer,we retired to the inglenook in the withdrawing room and loosened our clothing , our pipes were filled and our glasses freshened with the sweet Malmsey . Captain Aspinall needed no prompting to open his tale ,he broached his glass and wiped his lips with the back of his hand and began a tale of such romance that I was rapt within moments.
I will attempt to paraphrase his tale for his own words were so bellicose that I fear they might cause offense to those of tender sensibilities.

? We had been at sea a week or more before we made sight of land again , ? twas but an eyot in the midst of nowheres, but that little speck contained an Englishman ;he had been marooned by a Dago who, he said, had taken him captive in New Garston ,that man was your very own Douglas Threlfall ,he had been such an argumentative captive that the Dago had marooned him there to rid himself of such of such a pestiferous body, and after having him aboard the St Mary all this time I concur with that Dago?s judgement. But I digress. John had measured his time on that isle by cutting marks on the bole of a tree. 64 marks recorded the days that he had been there ,and a week at sea before then. So our quarry was two and half months ahead of us. We set sail south again and had the good fortune to come across two Spanish Merchantmen homeward bound from Havana, they were laden to the gunnels and were wallowing in the Doldrums . We showed them all the respect and mercy that was their due, we turned them about and landed them on a golden beach which our pilot swore had fresh water and food aplenty. Some of the sailormen aboard them were pressed men from Scotland and The Dutch states and we gave them the offer of staying aboard the vessels so that we might get them back to English waters. They had no hesitation in accepting our offer and now our fleet was doubled..
We ranged the length and breadth of the Carib waters with nary a sighting of a Buccaneer, many a Portugee ship was sighted but we stayed well clear of these, our business was not with them. A time or two we spotted familiar vessels and could see that it was some of those other Englishmen who had come ?fishing ? in these rich seas.
It was about our seventh month abroad on these waters when we heard tell of a raid on Spanish settlement near Nombre de Dios, the story the old sailor man told us tallied in description of the raid on your town, fancy dude in flounces and a red beard, bemedalled and keen with a sword ,and a Frenchy to boot. His two ships near cleaned out that little town , of people and what wealth there was too.
This old salt heard from a ?friend ? that the Frenchy was from a Port in Santo Domingo, a place by the name of Azua. So now we had a place to search for .
Our pilots knew of Hispaniola , the island where Santo Domingo was situate, but they also knew that there were many well defended bays and ports for this was where Christopher Columbus had first settled. We had a tall order on our hands and a lot of reconnoitring to do before we could attempt to make our foray against this unmeasured enemy.
John Brewer undertook the job of reconnoitre, disguising his crew as Dagos they took the Spanish vessel and set a course for Hispaniola , they landed at the Northern end of the island and sent a small party of Spanish speakers to get the lay of the land, and ,with the dispensing of rum in the some of the shanty towns that they came upon ,they learned that Azua was on the southern most part of the island ,above Cabo Besta and nestled safely between the ports of Enriquillo and Bani. The Buccaneers had invested both ports with heavy armaments and they would prove nigh on impossible to approach from the sea. Those towns would have to be taken before we could attack Azua.

John and I studied his rude maps of the peninsula for ways of landing a force strong enough to take those two towns by surprise and taking them out of the equation. After many a survey we resolved to split our forces into three ,one party would land at beach to the south of Bani ,march inland and come at the back of the town from the landward side and put the town to the torch,the other party would land at Marahona across the peninsula from Enriquillo springing the same surprise on that township. Both raids would take place at the dead of night to cause the maximum panic and consternation.
The ships that lay alongside side in these ports would be taken and used a fire ships in the raid on Azua.
Such was our plan and it went as perfect as though the gods had designed it , there was much slaughter and bloodshed ,but we were doing it for a righteous cause. Many slaves were freed as we fought through those towns ,and some of your towns folk were among their number. Next morn we continued our momentum and attacked Azua from land and by sea. The element of surprise was our biggest weapon
and we fought our way through the streets in hand to hand combat with the toughest opponents it had been our misfortune to meet.. The cobbles were slick with blood of hundreds of men, this was too close for cannons and muskets, the tight little streets could not take more than three abreast and it was a day of cut and thrust as the blades sought to skewer and cut asunder the bodies of those hardfaced warriors.. Of a sudden we came to a square at the end of which stood a large palace. And there on the steps stood a redhaired villain dressed in the finest silks and brocades,the plumes of his tricorn billowing as he thrust and parried with his blade.
I fought my way toward him ,and when I was close enough to him I saw his features ,features that caused me to swallow with shock. It was as though I was staring into a mirror, excepting for the red hair and beard ,the man was like as a twin to me. John gasped as he saw him,?Tis you to the life ? he cried . Hearing this voice ,Red beard turned to face me, shock writ large upon his visage. ?Sacre Bleu? he shouted .crossing himself as though cursed by the sight of me, as he faltered ,my blade took him by the shoulder of his sword arm and he was rendered defenceless. As he lay bleeding the sound of steel upon steel lessened and stopped ,victory was ours.
But who was this red bearded rogue??

Jeff Glasser
02-06-2009, 02:46 PM
Jeff Glasse, realising Captain Julian was close behind him with only revenge on his mind for what he had done to the 'Garstonia 2', swam like never before and made good his escape into the many alleys and dark places around the old dock warehouses.
Realising he would have to lay low for a time to see what the good Captain Julians plans would be, he took cheap lodgings in one of the more dubious Inns close by, and settled in to wait. If the Captain was given command of another vessel, he would endeavor to join, disguised of course, the crew, and mayhaps find another way of dispatching Captain Julian!:unibrow:

captain kong
02-06-2009, 05:31 PM
One day.....................................KAPUT!

Jeff Glasser
02-06-2009, 05:35 PM
yeah, right, kong:unibrow:

02-06-2009, 05:43 PM
One day.....................................KAPUT!

Just don't climb any skyscrapers while Jeff is up in that glider!

brian daley
02-06-2009, 10:52 PM
A little bird tells me that we are about to see the birth of a totally new tale about Captain Julians search for his Tiger. Watch this space ,it will not be authored by me ,but by those reprobates Kong and Glasser. Should be a best seller by all accounts.It will have its own thread and promises to be gripping.(Can I go home now Kong or do you want more copy?)

captain kong
02-07-2009, 01:26 PM
One year after the Great Disaster of Garston, The Great Garston Mud Company had another new Steamship built, at Cammel Llairds to replace the `Garstonia 2`, she was to be named `Garstonia 3`. The launch and naming ceremony was done by the Chairman of the Company`s wife, Lady Susannah T. Daley.V.N.C.
A lot of people said the name of the ship was unlucky as the other ships of that name were very unlucky indeed, The first Garstonia had four murders in one voyage and the second was involved in the creation of the Great Garston Disaster.
But Lord Twize Daley, V.N.C. D.R. said Third time lucky. she will OK we have an excellent, experienced Captain to take command, one Captain Julian King.
At last Sailing day arrived, a new crew had been signed on, Captain King was happy with them all, except two men who he had misgivings about. His Steward, was a strange fellow, shifty eyed a red beard and claiming to be a Swede, his name was Gleff Jasse. A strange name for a Swede, more of a Estonian name if his memory served him correctly. There was something odd about his appearance, something familiar, as if they had met in some far distant past. His accent wasn?t too good for a Swede, he sounded a little bit like Robert Newton in the film Treasure Island, which hadn?t come out yet, .mixed with a little Brum., A strange accent for Swedish person.
The other fellow he wasn?t too sure of was a Fireman, by the name of Michael Aspinall, who he learned was a far distant relative, sharing the same ancester, the Baron de Aspin of Aspin Hall in the woolyback town of Bolton in 1648,.
Michael Aspinall`s father was a Fireman on the `Garstonia` when the 2nd Engineer disappeared, rumour had it that he was fed into the furnace, and also he was there when the Third Engineer died in mysterious circumstances, on the same voyage that his Father Captain Julian Aspinall was murdered by one Jef Glasse who was later executed in Kirkdale prison. Rumour had it that he got away from there by being disguised as a Prison Warder and the poor man being hanged in his place.
Captain King was getting a little apprehensive about the voyage ahead.

Jeff Glasser
02-07-2009, 02:44 PM
The good captain King had every reason to be wary of both Gleff Jasse, and Michael Aspinall, both were up to no good, and were frequently seen muttering and whispering together.
The fireman Aspinall had recognised 'Jasse', only he knew him from the old 'Garstonia' as Jeff Glasse, even the bright orange false beard, tinted spectacles, eye shadow and large diamante' earrings could not hide the mans true identity, but Aspinall had remembered being asked to go 'in' with him regarding both their maritime future, so kept silent. It did not bode well for the 'Garstonia 3.:eek:

captain kong
02-10-2009, 11:54 AM
After the Maiden Voyage celebrations, the ship was loaded with a cargo of the celebrated Gerston Mud, in barrels, it was getting very popular in the Argentine. It was used in the making of Tiles, Bricks and the Pharmaceutical industry had discovered its many uses as it contained many nutrients and minerals, also the brewery trade used it as finings in the brewing of ale. It made beers compatible for Vegetarians, normal beer finings contain fish scales etc. [this is a fact] so the beer became very popular due to that fact.
Also the Aspinall Cambrinous Craft Brewery, had a large export order to the Argentine, a large number of British expatriates lived there building railroads and owning cattle ranches and the Aspinall ale was very popular as a link to home.
The Beer was condensed in casks, one cask made six casks when water was added, this was to save space when in transportation.
A crew had been signed on and the ship was made ready to sail on her long voyage to South America, Lord Twyze Daley, VNC.DR. was there to see them off on the maiden voyage.
At first the voyage seemed to be progressing quite normally, the good Captain was not too pleased with the Steward, who seemed to be completely incompetent, staggering around and lurking, where ever the Captain looked, there was the steward, one Gleff Jasse, who claimed to be a Swedish seafarer, A strange fellow.
He was in cahoots with a Fireman, Michael Aspinall, another strange, and rough sort of fellow. They had discovered the casks of beer in No3 hatch, it was accessible from the store rooms. One bucket of the condensate would make six buckets of ale. and from the day of leaving Garston they were at it every day.
Captain King did not know that Gleff Jasse drank until he found him sober one day.

Jeff Glasser
02-12-2009, 04:54 PM
The pantry boy, Tarquin Smythe-Nozewheel ( he was from good stock that had fallen on hard times through bad investments in the great snuff crash of 1862, when snuff had dropped from a 1d a ton, to less than a farthing virtually over night. His father had commited suicide by inhaling as much of his useless stock as was possible in one go, and sneezed himself to death. ) had the cabin next to Jasse, and would often spy on him through the 1" hole that had appeared mysteriously about three feet up from the deck in the bulkhead that seperated the two cabins, few days into the voyage .
One evening he heard the sound of muttering and muted laughter from Jasses' cabin, and peering through the hole saw that there was another crew member there. they were both swigging from large mugs of a foul looking liquid that were being replenished from a cask bearing the legend 'Garston mud Company' under which was a small circular logo that enclosed three triangles, its meaning lost to him.
Thinking this to be a normal crew leisure time pursuit, he was about to return to his bunk and the well thumbed pages of a 'Port Said Bible' he'd found pushed under his cabin door by some well meaning fellow mariner, when he saw the steward Jasse drag out from under his bunk a large wooden box. He could just discern the words 'Arms' stencilled onto the lid.
Jasse undid the padlock and lifted the lid to reveal several prosthetic arms in a neat row. "Kin'ell" ejaculated the other man, who Tarquin had recognised as the fireman Aspinall, a person he'd been warned to keep well away from.
"It once contained tractor parts" said Jasse, "that I were smuggling to Uraguay" " Each to his own," sneered Aspinall, staring at the contents of the box, " but is this what yer was goin' ter show me?"
Smiling through what was left of his rotting teeth, Jasse took out the dummy limbs. He then removed a false bottom, the straps of which were beginning to chafe his upper legs. He then leant forward into the box, and tore away a thin cardboard liner ( I think it was the Windsor Castle, sorry,sorry,sorry, I could'nt help it. Author ) ) to reveal two pistols, a rusty musket, and a Light Sabre. ( Jasse could'nt lift a heavy Sabre since damaging his wrist lifting an overloaded tea tray. ) " Us can use these when we take command of the ship" he said " " just a few more of the crew to persuade to come with us, and the 'Garstonia' and her cargo will be ours." " Oil drink to that me old Bucko' " roared Aspinall, and poured the last of the foaming brew down his throat.
Tarquin saw them shake hands, the box was refilled and hidden once again under Jasses' bunk. Aspinal, belching loudly, Left the cabin, and made his way to the 'Garstonias' engine room, no doubt to inwardly digest what had just been revealed to him.
I must warn the Captain immediately before they can act, thought young Tarquin. I might get a reward which I can use to get MaMa out of the work house.

brian daley
02-12-2009, 09:56 PM
Brilliant stuff Jeff,you do realise that this part of the story belongs to you and Alehouse don't you? I'm sticking to my original tale and this one of yours is a "sequel" . I can't wait to see what transpires now.
The ex Author

captain kong
02-13-2009, 09:49 PM
One day as the Garstonia 2, was approaching the Island of Fernando Noronha, off the coast of Brazil on her voyage south towards Buenos Aires, The Steward Jasse and Fireman Aspinall were in Jasse`s cabin drinking the famous Cambrinous Brown ale from the condensate that was in the cargo hold. They had been drunk every night of the voyage, both causing trouble with the rest of the crew and with the Officers.
One night as Jasse came out of the Hold with a bucket of the condensate of Brown Ale, he was seen by Mr Reginald Bangoreg, the Mate, a struggle followed and Jasse battered him to death. He dragged him out on deck and dumped his body over the side into the sea.
The Second Engineer had gone into the stokehold and found Aspinall drunk on watch with a Dixie full of ale. When he got on to him a fight started and Aspinall opened a relief valve and scolded the Engineer to death. He was dragged up on deck and thrown overboard. Aspinall told Jasse, he had killed the Second, They decided the only thing to do was to kill everyone and make it look like it was a shipwreck and they were the only two survivors.
Jasse gave Aspinall a revolver he had hidden under his bunk and also armed himself.
Jasse went up to the bridge where Captain King was with the Second Mate and a struggle started when the Captain thumped Jasse but in the fight the gun went off and the Captain fell dead. The Second Mate was next, Jasse shot him in the head. Kevin Thomas was the Sailor on the wheel, Jasse told him to help to throw the Captain and the Second Mate over the wing of the bridge into the sea. And then said ?Are you with us or against us?? Kevin Thomas, who was terrified said ?Yes I am with you.?
Jasse took the Captains jacket off and put it on. He paraded up and down the bridge pretending to be the Captain shouting orders.
They went down below., to the Mess room. Aspinall had killed the other Engineers and firemen, The Chief Steward, Fred Kinghorn was sat there, with Ernest Norris Green, both looking white and scared. Again Jasse said to Fred, ?Are you with us or against us?? Fred said ?No way, you`ll hang for this.?, a shot rang out and Fred fell dead, blood pumping out of his head. Ernest was next, ?OK? said Ernest ?I am with you.?. scared in case he got what Fred had just got.
Jasse said to Aspinall ?Go down below and open the sea valves and set fire to anything that will burn, Ernest and Kevin swing out the lifeboat. And I will set fire to anything around here.
The boat was swung out and all four climbed into it and they lowered away and then cast off.
The GARSTONIA 2 was ablaze from stem to stern and sinking by the stern. The men rowed away into the darkness as the fires were extinguished as the ship slid under the waves.. The following morning a ship hove into view and with much waving and shouting they were seen and the ship stopped and rescued them.
She was the Raphael, one of Lamport and Holt`s steamers homeward bound from Buenos Aires.
They told their rescuers an incredible story. The Garstonia 2, had started its voyage to Buenos Aires, with a crew of 12 men, of whom two had died in mysterious accidents at sea. They then had a fire on board and had abandoned ship, in one of the two life boats, losing contact with the remaining members of the crew in the second boat. One of the 4 rescued men, Kevin Thomas, seemed afraid of the others and asked to be kept separate from them. It was also noticed that Gleff Jasse was wearing the Captain's Uniform jacket which seemed quite odd to the Raphael`s Captain. The Raphael made its way home to England arriving at Liverpool in January 1901. Kevin Thomas told the Raphael`s Captain that the missing crew of the Garstonia 2, had really been murdered by the other 3 survivors, although they vehemently denied this, and stuck to the story of the fire accusing Thomas of inciting the mutiny and killing the rest of the crew. The Captain of the Raphael was deeply suspicious and handed all 4 over to the police when he docked in Liverpool. Ernest Norris Green, decided to change his story and support Thomas' version of events.

It seemed that the Mate, Reginald Bangoreg, was the first to be murdered by Jasse and Aspinall who had quarrelled with him over him finding out that they had been discovered broaching cargo, namely the barrels of Aspinalls Cambrinous Craft Brewery containing condensate of Brown Ale.. The Mate was battered to death and thrown overboard. Once they had murdered Reg Bangoreg, they were then at serious risk, so it was decided to kill any other member of the crew who would not join them. Thus, Jasse who had some arms stowed under his bunk, passed some to Aspinall and the two of them went on the rampage.Then other men were killed and thrown into the sea while Captain King and Second Mate were shot on the bridge prior to being thrown overboard. A final man jumped over the side and was shot at in the water.
The Murder case opened at Liverpool's St George's Hall on the 10th of May 1901. It was the trial of 3 men for mutiny and murder on the high seas. The defendants were Gleffe Jasse, Steward, Swede, Michael Aspinall, Fireman, and Ernest Norris Green, AB/Cook, who were accused of killing the Captain of the ship ?Garstonia 2? and 6 members of his crew. The murders were alleged to have taken place aboard the `Garstonia 2 `in December 1900, at sea off South America. They were only tried on the charge of murdering the Captain, the other charges being held in reserve if they were acquitted of this one.
They were taken to the Court in St Georges Hall, from HM Prison at Walton. .
After an intensive inquiry it was discovered that One Gleff Jasse was not a Swede but an Englishman hiding his identity, his real name being Jeff Glasse. More investigations proved that he was the son of one Jeff Glasse who was also convicted of murdering the Captain and Chief Officer of the good ship Garstonia forty years previously. It was rumoured the Jeff Glasse senior had cheated the hangman by getting the prison warder drunk and changing clothes with him and so the Warder was unfortunately executed in his place.

The trial was to last 3 days before Mr. Justice Robert Fairley and on the 14th of May, the Jury pronounced that all 3 defendants were guilty. Mr. Justice Fairley, placed the black cap on his head and said, ? You will be taken from here to a place of execution and hanged by the neck until you are all dead and your bodies will be buried within the precincts of the Prison. Take them away.? Ernest Norris Green, was later reprieved following the jury's recommendation to mercy and because of his age. Jeff Glasse and Michael Aspinall were taken back to Walton to await their fate. Just 3 weeks later, at 8.00 a.m. on the morning of Thursday, the 2nd of June 1901, they were brought together for the final time, Jeff Glasse, was Hanged first, as he was the ring leader, and three minutes later Michael Aspinall was led out and was dropped alongside him, hanged by William Billington assisted by John Billington.
On the scaffold, Glasse was heard to shout ?Up yours, Kong? just as the trap door opened and he went to his maker. After the executions, the two bodies were left to hang for an hour.Then Mr W. Billington lowered the two bodies down into the chamber below. They stripped the bodies, Mr John Billington commented to Mr William Billington that ?We have a dirty one here? as he removed Glasse`s trousers as they stripped the bodies prior to placing them into the coffins. Mr Glasse, for all his bravado, had actually crapped himself.
Graves were dug by the prison wall and then they were both interred, a number fixed on the wall as the only marker of their existence.

That was the end of an infamous voyage and the end of an era of horrific happenings to all the ships of the Gerston Mud Trading Company of Garston. Lord Twyze Daley, VNC. DR never went into ship owning again. After those tragic events, he died a broken man, the Company only used chartered ships after that.

Jeff Glasser
02-14-2009, 12:14 PM
Well, that's that then!
Of course there's always -

Jasse woke with a start, drenched in sweat. He lay there momentarily before realising it was just a terrifying nightmare Oh b*****ks he thought, I really have crapped myself though, thankfully this turned out to be no more than the greasy remains of the bowl of scouse he'd been eating just before drifting into a drunken stupour the night before. Still going to be difficult to get out, he mused, and I must remember not to retire whilst still wearing this neckerchief...........

captain kong
02-14-2009, 02:15 PM


Jeff Glasser
02-14-2009, 05:30 PM
Curses alehouse, you wound that one up good! I was just getting into the swing there. Superbly:handclap condensed though.:handclap:

How did you know that that old rogue Jeff Glasse had a son?
He was brought up by Jeff Glasses' doxy, who some say was heavy with his child when Jeff Glasse was strung up for his crimes. She was resident strumpet at the 'Rampant Fireman', an Inn tucked away down a stinking back street in the dock area of old Lahpool. Debauchery and drunkenness were its claim to fame, frequented by pox ridden mariners and those low life that make a living from others misfortunes.....

captain kong
02-14-2009, 09:39 PM
You almost made me homesick then with your description of Lahpool.

I am off to my beach house for a few days, got to get it sorted before I go to the Antarctic in two weeks.
Catch up when I get back.

Jeff Glasser
02-15-2009, 01:38 PM
Have a good one kong, catch you later.


captain kong
02-20-2009, 10:10 PM
Who knows, one Gleff Jasse may be on the ship that I sail on around Cape Horn and the Antarctic next week.
Maybe he will end up like his father and his father before him with a VNC

captain kong
02-28-2009, 04:02 PM
In 1925 the eldest son of Lord Twize Daley, one Lord Twize Daley, chartered a cargo ship to take a cargo of Garston Mud to Buenos Aires, He had had nothing but trouble from the previous ships that he owned, with death, Mutiny and murder.
He renamed the vessel `Notsrag`, he reversed the name of Garston hoping to reverse his fortunes, which were no too great at the moment.
He hired a Master who was the son of the Master of his last owned vessel, the Garstonia 3 that was lost in a mutiny in 1900, he was Captain King.
The charter was for a cargo of Gerston Mud for the factories in Argentina who used the minerals that were contained in the mud for their pharmaceutical trade. Also to go to the Island of South Georgia to Grytvicken to load a cargo of whale oil. This was to be used with the minerals of Gerston Mud in the manufacture of perfumes. A very lucrative trade.
A crew was signed on and the ship made ready for the voyage south.
There was amongst this crew a steward who was a very strange character, he went by the name of Jeff Glasse. He had one eye, on account he had offended a young lady, on a previous voyage, by spying through her cabin door key hole and she just happened to have a hat pin handy and she poked his evil eye out.
The voyage to Buenos Aires went without much events but the good Captain was not at all happy with his steward, a grovelling, shifty one eyed character always lurking and listening at doors, he always had a smell of gin upon his breath tho` he claimed to be of temperate habits.
In Buenos Aires, Captain King search the alleyways and bars around the Calle Viente Cinco de Mayo, searching for a person who went by the name of Cleopatra, another strange one he found mentioned in his fathers journals. He was directed to the Recolletta where there was a tomb to the memory of this she/man. `Gone but not forgotten` was carved upon the tombstone.
On leaving Buenos Aires, after doing a tango with a young senorita in the Texas Bar, we cleared the River Plate and the `Notsrag` headed south towards Gritvicken in South Georgia, and that is when things started to go wrong.
There were various acts of sabotage to the ships equipment. and the Captains steward was a suspect,
More when I return from my voyage to Grytvicken in a few weeks.

captain kong
04-17-2009, 06:47 PM
In a few weeks?
I have just returned from this unfortunate voyage.
On our voyage from Buenos Aires to Grytviken, things began to go wrong with the ships equipment. The alcohol in the ships compass in the wheel house disappeared, the compass was useless. A young Ernie Norris Green who was one of the helmsmen said it was OK when he was relieved at midnight. The next man on the wheel was a Michael Aspin, another strange fellow. He was always cohorting with the one eyed steward, one Jeffery Glasse. Some thing was not quite right, I had a memory of my father`s journals which were written as a continuing story from his father`s day and so on.
I retrieved the journals from my sea chest and started to read, with much trepadition.
Reoccurring names were repeated through each generation of my family going back to the days of 1646. The names of Glasse and Aspin.
It started in 1626 when an illigitemate son of Baron de Aspin, was born to a Miss Lilac
Michael de Aspin was only a half member of the de Aspin family. He was born on the other side of the blanket after a dalliance by Baron de Aspin and a serving wench known as Miss Lilac in that house of ill repute, Ye Olde Man and Scythe, in the square in ye township of Bolton.
Later when he was twenty years old, Michael de Aspin wanted money off his father, the Baron de Aspin who had found he was an embarrassment to the family name. The Baron hired a one eyed cretin by the name of Jeffery de Glasse, to despatch Michael, paying him half now and the other half after the deed was done.
Jeffery de Glasse returned from London informing the Baron that Michael was now at the bottom of the Thames, buried in the mud and so no further claims would be made on the de Aspin Estate. The Baron hated this grovelling cretin and dismissed him with out payment. When Jeffery de Glasse complained, the Baron reported him to the authorities, the Puritans found him guilty of sedition and had him burned at the stake high on a hill overlooking the lands of the Baron. As the flames engulfed his body, de Glasse screamed a curse at the Baron and all his decendents.
Just afterwards the Baron`s ancestral home, Aspin Hall was burned to the ground by Cromwell`s men.
And so the curse has followed each generation and each time there was a Glasse involved and a Michael Aspin.
The curse could only be stopped by burning Glasse in the Fires Of Hell.

I read all these stories that my father had written and it filled me with great dread, I had two members of my crew named Glasse and Aspin. I went ice cold with fear and the hairs on my neck stood on end. What was I to do.?
I challenged Aspin about the compass, he denied all knowledge of the missing alcohol it was OK when he left the wheel at 2am.
Steering a course was very difficult with the compass needle sticking repeatedly, .being an old ship we had no other compass to steer by.
The seas were heavy now, we were in the roaring forties, I also challenged Glasse as to why he was staggering like a man who was drunk, he said it was the roll of the ship that made him like that. I could not prove it was him who had drank the alcohol
The Mate and I had to try and watch these two men continuously.
One night an iron bar was jammed into the piston of our triple expansion engine and it snapped a piston, which smashed the cylinder, steam was blasting all over the engine room and the poor second engineer, a Mr Kevin Harrison, was scalded to death.. The ship was stopped while the body of Mr Kevin was retrieved. When all hands were called to assist in the engine room it was discovered that Glasse, Aspin and Ernest Norris Green had disappeared with one of the ship`s lifeboats.
We were approximately forty miles off the coast of South Georgia, but we were powerless and drifting with the current and a northerly wind to the South towards the Antarctic.
We had the sad task of sewing up the body of Kevin and sliding his body into those cold dark waters of the Scotia Sea.
Two weeks later we were nearing the coast of Elephant Island, we were surrounded by large icebergs. We had struggled with the engine repairs and finally removed the smashed piston and cylinder. The firemen got up steam again and the engines were started slowly, it was off balance and so we had to steam at slow speed making around three knots, but that was better than drifting ashore on that wild and desolate island with no means of escape.
Meanwhile, we learned later, Glasse and Aspin had taken Ernest hostage to help with the rowing and sailing of the boat to South Georgia, They knew there were many whalers and sealers operating out of there and so they could easily escape.
They had landed in King Edward Sound and made their way to Grytviken with a tale of shipwreck, they were the only survivors. A Norwegian Whaler arrived and Ernest being a Seaman and bigger than the other two, found a job onboard and shipped out. No one wanted a one eyed steward and a whinging sailor. They were stranded for the duration.
Twelve days after repairing the engine we arrived in Grytviken four weeks after the disaster caused by the Glasse and Aspin.
The Harbour Authorities arrived on board and were amazed when we told them of our dreadful voyage. He informed us that the evil Glasse and Aspin were still on the island and steps would be taken to arrest them.
They were confined in an empty whale oil tank, there being no police or prison on the island, and held until we were ready for sailing after loading the whale oil into our tanks in the holds. Also there was no facility on South Georgia to repair the piston and cylinder so we would have to make for Cape Town as the nearest port on our way back to Garston. The 3800 mile voyage would take us around seven weeks at three knots. We loaded coal bunkers, stores and fresh water, then Glasse and Aspin were dragged onboard in chains and taken down the fore peak and chained to the bulkhead there. A watch was posted at the entrance to the focsle and they were fed and watered when the crew were fed.
We cast off the wooden jetty in Grytviken to the cheers of the Flensers and the crews of the Sealers that were moored there. Sailing around King Edward Point we then headed in a NE direction through the iceberg covered Scotia Sea towards the South Atlantic. We now had a new compass purchased from the chandlers in Grytviken.
After 24 days at sea we were running short of stores and fresh water, we had enough coal loaded for the journey to Cape Town.
Nightingale Island came up on our Port bow, which was, unfortunately uninhabited. A few hours later Tristan da Cunha came in sight on our Starboard bow, a look at the charts showed there was a settlement there so we made for the anchorage by the settlement named Edinburgh.
As we anchored a few small fishing boats came out to us and we invited them on board. They were a very pleasant and cheerful crowd.
They informed us that we could purchase sheep and fresh vegetables for our stores.
Now at this time Glasse and Aspin were on deck for their exercise period and Glasse heard that one of the senior men on the island was a Mr Glass. He claimed to be a member of the family. I saw a chance here of getting rid of the evil little man, if he was stranded here on Tristan he would never return to England, no ships passed this way, it was the most isolated island on earth.
Mr Glass, a kindly man, took Glasse ashore with him while he questioned his family connections. I thought it would be an ideal thing to do, separate Glasse and Aspin , I would then take Aspin to Cape Town to be dealt with by the authorities there.
Mr Glass called me to his home, he told me that this Glasse had tried to tell him he was from the Somerset side of the Glass family. He could not possibly be.
The original Glass family had arrived here from Holland in 1814 with William Glass as head of the family and had never had any English side. He had Glasse taken outside of the settlement to a shack that was some times used as a shelter for the men working in the fields. He was locked up there while we decided what to do with him. I didn?t want him on my ship and Mr Glass didn?t want him on the island.
Then fate took a hand, there was a tremble and the earth moved sideways and back, a rumbling sound was heard, Mr Glass said ?Quickly, we must get into the boats, it is the volcano.? Tristan was just a volcano with enough space on it for the settlement.
We and all the 200 residents ran down to the jetty and the boats took us all out to our ship.
We watched as the volcano fired flames, smoke and sparks up into the sky, then a sliver of orange lava poured down the mountain side and it was heading for the shack that held Glasse.
We could hear his screams echoing from the side of the mountain as the lava advanced upon him. Then it hit the shack and then a cloud of steam appeared as his body was consumed in the `Fires From Hell`. He was gone, covered in a thick layer of molten rock, a fitting end to an evil man and hopefully an end to the curse of de Glasse in the 17th century.
The volcano stopped the eruption and all was quiet again. it was as if it had to be to rid the earth of this evil. The volcano stayed quiet until 1961 when the whole settlement had to be evacuated to England.
We went back ashore with the families and all seemed to normal again. We stayed for four days while the good islanders rounded up the sheep and found us the vegetables that we required.
We bade farewell to our new friends and headed for Cape Town 2000 miles distant..
After an uneventful voyage of 28 days we arrived in the shadow of Table Mountain. The British Consul arrived on board and I notified him of the events of the voyage and also we needed repairs to our engine.
The Police came down to the ship and Aspin was taken ashore and charges laid against him, Mutiny and assisting in the manslaughter of Mr Kevin Harrison, our late Second Engineer.
The Notsrag was towed around to the repair berth and Globe Engineering Co. Ltd. Stripped out our engine and did all the necessary repairs and soon had the pistons moving up and down smoothly.
Meanwhile I attended the Crown Court on Adderley Street for the trial of Aspin. He was found guilty of the charges and was sentenced to Hard Labour for life on Robben Island, working in the Limestone Quarry. At last we had got rid of this evil duo.
We made ready for sailing, loaded fresh stores, water and coal bunkers then proceeded to sea for a pleasant voyage back to Garston with a brief call at St. Vincent in the Cape Verde Islands for bunkers.
When we arrived in Garston much was made of the voyage in the Newspapers and of the events that had happened to us.

March 2009.
I have just read my Grandfather`s journal of 1925/6. I decided to do a re run of that voyage but this time on a nice cruise ship. After that fateful voyage he changed the family name again to Kong instead of King, a changed name a changed fortune. he said.
We went to Buenos Aires and walked around the streets such as Viente Cinco de Mayo where my forefathers drank and danced the tango with so many Senoritas. I went to the Pink Palace, one time home of the famous Evita and to the Recolletta, where she is buried. We sailed to that dreadful place, Elephant Island, through the mists and snows, through the Scotia Sea surrounded by icebergs to Grytviken in South Georgia. A pretty place in the late Autumn sun light. The Whaling Station has long gone, just a few rusting tanks and derelect buildings, two Sealers and a whale catcher hauled up onto the beach rusting a little more each year. A small grave yard containing around twenty graves of whalers and also of Sir Ernest Shackleton, the great explorer. A sad and lonely place.
From there we sailed 1800 miles to Tristan da Cunha, the loneliest Island on earth.
Going ashore there to the settlement of Edinburgh, we met up with Mr Glass, one of the senior seven families of the island. We went to where the lava flowed down from the volcano and stood on the very spot where that evil Glasse had met his end in the `Fires of Hell`, a strange feeling, being over the man who had caused so much misery. I picked up a lump of pumice, the size of an orange, from the lava and placed it in my pocket.
I bade farewell to the islanders and returned to my ship.
We arrived in Cape Town five days later and stayed there for a few days before flying home.
I took a trip on the ferry to Robben Island, a place made famous by one Nelson Mandela.
I was given permission to examine the records of the inmates. The whole place is now a tourist venue and the guides are ex prisoners from there. Looking through the files I found the name Michael Aspin, he was killed in the limestone quarry by a falling rock that crushed his skull. Then I froze, the date of his death was the date of my birth, 21 June 1935.
I have been much troubled by this revelation since I arrived home.
In my office as I write this journal the lump of lava from Tristan da Cunha seems to be alive, it sort of glows in the dark and sometimes a little sound comes from it, could it be from the screams of Glasse when he was consumed in that fiery lava so far away.??.............................

Jeff Glasser
04-18-2009, 11:40 AM
Bugger, reading down the last paragraphs I thought, yes, I can haunt haunt kong with tales of the 'Screaming pumice stone' and what happens? you beat me to it!
Fear not kong, Jeffrey Glasse is not finshed yet.
I will have to give it serious thought.

on a more serious note, do you know how Brian is?


captain kong
04-18-2009, 01:12 PM
Hi Jeff,
I heard from Clancy that he phoned his Company and they told him that he is still in hospital but he is "up and about". what ever that means.

You`ll notice that the story is still left "open". hope you enjoyed the demise of Glasse.
Mr. Glass of Tristan is a real person. just a coincidence . I must appolgise to him for bringing him and his family into this story and for any embarrassment caused. Cheers.

Jeff Glasser
04-18-2009, 02:16 PM
Hi kong,
Glad to hear that Brian is 'up and about'

I guessed that the name 'Glass was real on Tristan, even you would'nt have made that one up!
Your latest scribblings were those of a true master of the written word.

I shall continue as soon as I can think up something terrible for you to have to endure!!


captain kong
04-18-2009, 02:18 PM
I will be ready for you Glasse.

Jeff Glasser
04-18-2009, 02:24 PM
Fear not kong, I shall parry your litery thrusts with my own sharpened quill!

Imust away now to my secret writing chamber to decant more vitriol!


04-18-2009, 06:46 PM
Fear not kong, I shall parry your litery thrusts with my own sharpened quill!

Imust away now to my secret writing chamber to decant more vitriol!


err wats a vitriol can ya eat it

04-18-2009, 08:08 PM
And then there was scousers

captain kong
04-18-2009, 09:57 PM
err wats a vitriol can ya eat it clancy.

I think you can spread it on toast. Vitriol , like vegimite, .

Jeff Glasser
04-18-2009, 10:32 PM
You fools, it's fuel fer me lamp, so's I can write more great lierary (sic) works like kong!

captain kong
04-19-2009, 05:55 PM
I found the lifeboat on the beach at South Georgia the one that Glasse and Aspin took 84 years ago and on the other photo the dark strip on the left is the `final` resting place of Glasse on Tristan da Cunha.

captain kong
04-23-2009, 06:00 PM
I have cut the pumice stone from the lava on Tristan da Cunha, in half to see where the light and noise was coming from. Here is a photo of the two parts. No sign of Glasse in there. Maybe I cut him in half and finaly killed him.
Hope so.

Jeff Glasser
04-25-2009, 03:29 PM
Do'nt think you can relax yet kong, I've just got a touch of writers block.

I'm having it surgicaly removed (privately, of course) next week.

captain kong
04-25-2009, 04:54 PM
Glasse is dead. kaput, fineto, I danced on his grave on Tristan da Cunha last month.
I opened the pummice from the lava. there was no sign of him, the glowing light and the sound has gone.
I am concerned about Aspin who died on Robben Island on my birthdate, was he reincarnated in me on that date ????? I hope not.
But I am still awaiting some peace after 400 years of torment.

Hope your writers block gets better soon and it is not infectious.

captain kong
04-25-2009, 04:55 PM
Has anyone heard how Brian is goiung on?? not heard anything for a couple of weeks.

captain kong
05-15-2009, 11:44 AM
Is Glasse realy dead? or is he festering somewhere, there is no sign of him here, did the fires from hell on Tristan da Cunha realy bring an end to his
17th century curse?.

Jeff Glasser
05-15-2009, 12:08 PM
Sorry kong, just have'nt felt like writing lately. No problem, just laziness.

I'll try and make the effort, you have'nt heard the last of Glasse! (sound of dramatic music)

captain kong
05-15-2009, 03:36 PM
I am the same Jeff, I have a broken shoulder, a clavicle, on the left side and a compressed nerve on the right side of the shoulder, exceedingly painful, and difficult to sleep on the shoulders. I have a load of pain killers but I find a bottle of whisky is better, It doesnt kill the pain but I just dont care I have it.
I did it with an encounter with a Bull Elephant Seal on my trip to the Antarctic who thought I was after his cows in his harem. I know I have a reputation with the cows in the dock side alehouses but not that kind of cow, they stink something terrible. I fell down a crevas trying to escape, and did the damage. slow healing.
I think it was the curse of Glasse.
Here is the beast that did it.

Jeff Glasser
05-15-2009, 04:22 PM
Blimey kong, that's a picture of my beloved Juanita who left me for another when we left Buenos Aires back in '67!
I think you'd have come off better if you'd squared up to him! I hope it does'nt keep you laid up for too long. Trouble is, us old 'uns take longer to heal.

Of course it's the curse of Glasse. You'll never be free of it. ( not while I can still put quill to parchment anyway )


05-15-2009, 04:25 PM
Were any of you ever in the pistol club, I am?

captain kong
05-15-2009, 07:17 PM
Whats that Ged?:,The Pistol Club.

Drink all night and pistol dawn?

Jeff Glasser
08-12-2009, 08:27 PM
I have cut the pumice stone from the lava on Tristan da Cunha, in half to see where the light and noise was coming from. Here is a photo of the two parts. No sign of Glasse in there. Maybe I cut him in half and finaly killed him.
Hope so.

Did you not notice kong, that at the exact moment the two halves of pumice stone fell apart, you were distracted by a strange sound eminating from an adjoining room? This gave the trapped spirit of Glasse, like the genii of the lamp, all the time he needed to escape unseen from the confines of the stone.

Beware kong, for the nightmare has only just begun! (sound of 'Physco' film music):eek:

captain kong
08-12-2009, 09:57 PM
I have just sent for a `Glasse Detector` from Argos with my Nectar Points., as soon as it arrives I will be on guard.
That was a despicable trick but right will prevail. [sound of `Rock of Ages` coming from the pummice].

captain kong
08-12-2009, 11:57 PM
I am off to my house in Fleetwood for a few days, while my Bolton House is exorcised by the Parish Priest to rid Glasse from my home.